well, having spent a lifetime in the closet convinced I was weird I'm beginning to wonder... As well as being fascinated by whether spanking is sexual, I also wonder about how mainstream it and BDSM are nowadays. OK, you can buy whips and handcuffs in Anne Summers - So what? but when you see such items as part of a Valentine's Day display in a card shop, you have to wonder.

Apparently BHS (or similar) were selling 'spankers' as Christmas gft ideas and I've lost count of references and jokes on mainstream TV in the last year or so. My favourite kinky character is probably Phoebe on'Friends' getting turned on by table tennis bats; talking about women needing spanking and being very dismissive of the flimsiness of some handcuffs.

I did try out a spanking story on a couple of women who were on a course with me and they were pretty cool. (It's called 'Contiguous' and is on my site)

Spanking and BDSM have definitely entered popular culture in recent years and I think it reflects a general interest. If someone wants to indicate sexual adventure, BDSM and/or spanking seem to be a shorthand for this.

Of course I have a theory - I always do! I think like swinging, swapping, being 'bi-curious' and other 'variations', spanking and BDSM are things some people are willing to try and find erotic as a concept and possibly as reality. Some of us however (for whatever reason - And I don't particularly care how or why) have a particular 'kink' that is central to our make-up. For many of us (but not all)including me it is part of our sexuality. It doesn't mean we lack 'normal' sexuality - Just have this extra route to pleasure.

I see spanking and similar 'kinks' as continuums. An analogy (I always have one or two of these as well!)would be with being gay/straight. Some of us are 100%straight or gay. Some of us have 'phases' or fall for one exception of same or opposite sex. Some fantasise about the opposite to how we see ourselves. Some experiment. Some don't. some will experiment because it seems 'perverse' or exciting. Some will be unable to resist a dabble...