I actually love Christmas - you can tell there's a 'but' coming, can't you?:D - but I'm amazed at how early people are putting up the decorations. I expect it in shops and public displays, but decking out your home at the end of November just seems strange - except it isn't one's home, but the front of one's house and the garden.

I'm also amazed (if you've not already noticed, I'm easily amazed!)at how cheap all this stuff has become. I do find lots of these lights and things great fun, but the OTT display seems to have become the norm rather than the exception.

I bought new lights last year and have built up my collection of the nice and the naff over the years. I couldn't resist some fabulous additions this year from the fabulous emporium that is Hypervalue. My rope-haired concertina and harp-playing angels cost me a whole 85p each and my Christmas snowstorm was a snip at a pound, except the snow seems to lack some swirliness... I have some ancient crib figures that I acquired/stole from my parents when they got new ones. I also have some fun carved ones I bought on a Kenyan beach on a scorching hot day - complete with a droopy-winged angel.

I am however, holding out until the week before Christmas before I deck the halls and attempt to compete with the neighbours.

The Devonia chippy on Crwys Road that turned itself into an inflatable version of the Mouth of Hell now has giant Christmas inflatables to welcome you. I've not yet been down North road to see one of the most established domestic Christmas displays in Cardiff.

tim (suzi) [Visitor]

2005-12-06 @ 21:35

Dear suzee,
thanks for your detailed and thoughtful reply to my posting.
Firstly, I'd like to agree with you on the importance of separating one's sexuality from one's everyday persona.

However, I'd like to play Devil's Advocate for a bit and return to why counsellors treat spanking as a symptom of deeper ills because it's not just political although that is what I emphasised in my earlier posting.

Counsellors treat a lot of depressed people. Depressed people often torture themselves with percieved inadequacies and have an inability to forgive themselves for the most minor misdemeanours.
So what do us masochists do? We get someone else to hurt us and set up imaginary scenes where we receive punishment for often imaginary crimes. How big a gulf is there between this and self harming?

Blimey, I should be a counsellor talking like this!

So why is this fantasy so powerful? Why do I keep returning to it?

I guess part of it is that we humans do a lot of strange things which dont quite add up in the sober and rather sterile world of being a 'good citizen'.

Take fear, a bad emotion and surely best avoided. So why do we seek it out in controlled amounts? I love to read and watch ghost stories. When I was a child there was a part of me that wanted to hear stories that I knew would give me sleepless nights and leave me breathless with fear as I walked past moonlit churchyards. Other people bunjee jump and go on fairground rides that cause them to scream with terror.

Isn't spanking a bit like this. Isn't it our own personally scripted Gothic Horror tale which we enter in to but, unlike real punishment, can walk away from if it becomes too intense.

I know there are other complex reasons too for why we enjoy what we do and maybe different people have different reasons too but still end at the same point as I do with my knickers round my ankles!

Hope this isn't pretentious twaddle.

Tim(suzi) has given me lots of food for thought again. Obviously I can only speak for myself, but I'll have a go!

I think the question about similarity/difference between self-harming and masochism is a fascinating one. I am aware that there are spankees and masochists who do or have self-harmed (cutting etc).

I actually believe self-harm is a continuum and almost all of us harm ourselves, are careless of our own safety or fail to look after ourselves in some way - It is at what point it becomes a problem that is the issue. I see self harm as a coping mechanism for many people and that's their choice as long as it is not a real threat nor causing real health or safety problems. Sometimes it is the only thing to help one cope and one will try to give it up (like cigarettes, alcohol, mindless sex or whatever) when one is ready to do so.

I believe there are people who are into BDSM and/or spanking or similar because they are 'damaged' in some way. I also think most of us are 'damaged' in some way, so don't see that that has to be an issue.

If one uses masochism or similar as a reaction to damage, sadness, depression, insecurity or some such issues it's not a bad thing if it makes one feel better about oneself and doesn't make one vulnerable to exploitation or real harm to physical and mental health. Running marathons, sex, food, being a charity worker,whiskey, blogging, doing good deeds, and all sorts of other things can also be used positively or negatively as a reaction to these things.

Take fear, a bad emotion and surely best avoided. So why do we seek it out in controlled amounts? I love to read and watch ghost stories. When I was a child there was a part of me that wanted to hear stories that I knew would give me sleepless nights and leave me breathless with fear as I walked past moonlit churchyards. Other people bunjee jump and go on fairground rides that cause them to scream with terror.

Isn't spanking a bit like this. Isn't it our own personally scripted Gothic Horror tale which we enter in to but, unlike real punishment, can walk away from if it becomes too intense.

I know there are other complex reasons too for why we enjoy what we do and maybe different people have different reasons too but still end at the same point as I do with my knickers round my ankles!

Absolutely! Those who don't see spanking as sexual but get a kick from it, make similar comparisons. While it's going to be different for all of us, those of us who do 'this thing that we do(tttwd) get a buzz from it.

I think it will be a while before tttwd is seen as simply an aspect of our sexuality or sensuality and not a sign of mental weakness or something to be cured. That said, it is definitely becoming more mainstream and more discussed, but it does need to be mainstreamed by those that actually do tttwd. I recently attended sexuality awareness training and while there was the expected focus of straight/gay from trainers, I brought up issue of understanding and accepting fetish behaviour and orientation. Although some people were amused and/or intrigued (and I didn't actually 'come out'!)no-one was horrified or fell off their chairs and the idea that we may work with people who may be fetishists as well be straight, gay or somewhere on the continuum was taken on board.

Personally I tried to cure myself, but now accept I have dual sexuality. I can get my sexual buzz from good sex or from spanking! I consider that a bonus. My friends 'in the know' are amused and entertained, but other than having new source of gossip and jokes, it hasn't altered the friendships.

My site http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/ has lots of stuff I've written - fantasy and reality - if you're interested.