But? 
There's a but?
Well...Yes, there is...
I wrote a while back about the sweetness of unrequited lust, and think for sheer sexiness it can rival actual sex at times.
Having been touched by Landers' account of restraint and writing my own, it makes me ponder that delayed gratification can add to the sweetness and tenderness of future eroticism and intimacy.
That said, unless one chooses celibacy as an ethical or moral choice I think there is room for confusion around those with whom we have sex or don't.
It seems odd when people who have sex see lack of sex as proof of depth of feeling. I worked with young people and one young woman thought her latest boyfriend must love her because he didn't want to have sex with her! As I said - delayed gratification is powerful, but sex with meaning is very special. I can only assume 'Not wanting sex with me, means he loves me' reflects sex that is not equally desired by both parties and becomes that cliche of being 'the only thing s/he wants me for'
I think delaying sex to make it more meaningful is fabulous, but 'respecting' some by not having sex with them while mindlessly bonking elsewhere seems a twisted version of sexuality.
p.s. Wonder what ads this will attract....
Way back when we didn't have foster kids in the house Brad and I played a game. I can't remember what it was called but basically it involved doing tasks. The first few weren't sexual but were erotic (and yes I do think there is a difference) and actual sex didn't take place until the end of the evening and the end of the game. That part of restraint was a HUGE turn on.
When I first met Brad I was instantly attracted to his mind and it was this that made me do as my best friend had suggested and restrained myself.
It made the actual act of physical love far more enjoyable when it happened.
But, if after dating him for a while I heard him say he didn't want to have sex because he loved me and wanted further restraint, or respected me too much, a little part of me would be crushed and a big part of me would be saying "he doesn't find me attractive" and no amount of talk would change my mind.