It is important to me to separate what I see as my sexuality from other parts of my life, but also to own who and what I am. As a friend with similar interests said recently - It goes from being privacy to feeling like you're keeping secrets. There is far more to me than the fact I enjoy getting my bum smacked so I don't feel the need to tell everyone I meet about this quirk of mine. When you find yourself self-editng stuff in converstaion with friends however, it feels like unnecessary secrets.

I am lucky that my friends are nice people with liberal attitudes. That said, anything that smacks (no pun intended!) of inequality and possible violence is pretty challenging to bring up.

Today I visited a friend with whom I'd done Women's Studies and once again became aware that discussing my writing and my lover was difficult because of the gaps if I didn't 'come out.' She was of course, fine about it and it wasn't a problem. I don't feel an overwhelming need to tell her details, but it's nice not to have to censor tales of my writing and my lover.

I keep Suzee's writings separate for a degree of privacy, but I write here and on my website in a very honest way. This means that anyone who stumbles across my writing would easily be able to recognise me if they knew me from elsewhere. I am OK about that and trust people would have courtesy to react appropriately.

As said elsewhere, I do want to actually make people think about the whole fetish/sexuality thing and that is one of the reasons I write about it. I would have loved to have stumbled across a sane-sounding spanko years ago - it would have been very reassuring. I also love the idea that I can write things that I find erotic and they work for others too. And of course if I can make a fortune by writing about it, I will happily become the JKR of Spanking!