Anyone who's been reading my stuff here, on my website and past posts on spanking sites will realise I'm a bit obsessed with issues around mainstreaming of spanking and BDSM.

I read timsuzi's post on 'The Secretary' with interest - One day my other half and I will get round to watching it.. it reminded me that Bored Selecta had put up list of sexiest films and 'The Secretary' was first, which I think is very interesting...

On the whole the 'spanking community'(ie those that commented on a noticeboard of a spanking site!) was unhappy with the way it showed spankos to be 'damaged'. I guess lots of stuff with eroticism shows damaged people, but I've not seen film and shall refrain from criticism until I do. Meanwhile timsuzi has analysed and described it rather well.

I've just found out that no matter how often I tag timsuzi in one posting it will only come up as one tag
Thought I'd try new wordcloud. See link below:
http://www.snapshirts.com/custom.php

Wel, timsuzi's blown Jesus out of the water, but s/he's only as important as toast and toasters Nice that spanking and Suzee still central despite my other distractions! I rather like this latest wordcloud...

Timsuzi claims I find toast more important than Jesus or timsuzi. Timsuzi may have a point. It seems that timsuzi did a tag check and found toast and toaster combined out-tagged timsuzi and Jesus Of course tags are self-generated, so I have only myself to blame for this. And now I have a new toast tale!

Boringly I'm seeking the nearest toast heaven one can obtain with a toaster. I know the superiority of an open fire or even a gas one and toasting fork. And I know a gas (not electric!) grill is also superior to the humble toaster, but my Nirvarnah still remains the nearest to toast-heaven from a toaster.

I am constantly seeking the thickest sliced bread obtainable that will fit my very cheap, but quite good (less than a fiver!) toaster. So far Brace's XXX was thickest I could find...Bored? You will be! ...And then I saw Warburton's 'Super toastie'! I admit being seduced by the waxed paper, but I can be very shallow... And as I got ready for a new toast experience I learnt that 'Super toastie' was super in length as well as thickness and wouldn't fit into my slot(write your own filthy strapline!)Somehow half slices of bread toasted do not seem right....

I'd not looked at this for a while - Seems like more trouble than it's worth to be honest...
Admittedly, the few texts I send are written in full and nicely punctuated, so I'm probably not best judge of Cyberspeak...

02 Your (or my) two cents worth.
2MI Too much information.
2U2 To You Too
4COL For Crying Out Loud
[$X$] No spam !!
JK Just Kidding
? I have a question
! I have a comment
A-OLs Administrators On-Line
AAMOF As A Matter Of Fact
ADN Any Day Now
AFAIC As Far As I'm Concerned
AFAIK As Far As I Know
AFAIR As Far As I Remember
AFJ April Fools Joke
AFK Away From the Keyboard
AISI As I See It
ANFAWFOS And Now For A Word From Our Sponsor
ANFSCD And Now For Something Completely Different
AS Another Subject
ASAP As Soon As Possible
ASAYGT As Soon As You Get This
ASL Age, sex, location
ATSL Along The Same Line
AWC After While, Crocodile
AWGTHTGTTA Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again?
AWHFY Are We Having Fun Yet?
AWTTW A Word To The Wise
AYOR At Your Own Risk
B4N Bye For Now
BAC Bad A**ed Chick
BAK Back At Keyboard
BBFN Bye Bye For Now
BBIAB Be Back In A Bit
BBIAF Be Back In A Few
BBL Be Back Later
BBR Burnt Beyond Repair
BC Because
BCNU Be seein’ you
BEG Big Evil Grin
BF Boy Friend
BFN Bye For Now
BFD Big Frickin Deal
BIF Before I Forget
BION Believe it or not
BOHICA Bend Over, Here It Comes Again
BOT Back On Topic
BRB Be Right Back
BRS Big Red Switch.
BTA But Then Again
BTAIM Be That As It May
BTHOM Beats The Hell Outta Me
BTOBD Be There Or Be Dead
BTW By The Way
BWL Bursting With Laughter
BWQ Buzz Word Quotient
BYE Response to BYE?
BYE? Are you ready to say goodbye?"
BYKT But You Knew That
BYOB Bring Your Own Bottle
BYOM Bring Your Own Mac
C&G Chuckle and Grin
CADET Can't Add, Doesn't Even Try
CID Crying In Disgrace
CMIIW Correct Me If I’m Wrong
CO Conference or Company
CPP C Plus Plus or C++
CRS Can't Remember Sh**
CSG Chuckle, Snicker, Grin
CU See You
CU2 See You, Too
CUL See you later
CUL8R See You Later
CULA See You Later, Alligator
CWYL Chat With You Later
CYA See Ya or Cover Your Ass.
CYAL8R See You All Later.
DIIK Damned If I Know.
DIKU? Do I Know You?
DILLIGAD Do I Look Like I Give A Darnn?.
DIY Do It Yourself
DK Don’t Know
DLTBBB Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite.
dotgov A government official (from the .gov of government domain names)
DTRT Do The Right Thing
DWIMC Do What I Mean, Correctly
DWIMNWIS Do What I Mean, Not What I Say
EG Evil Grin
EOL End of Life
ESAD Eat Sh** And Die
ETLA Extended Three Letter Acronym.
F2F Face To Face
FCFS First Come, First Served
FISH First In, Still Here
FITB Fill In The Blank
FOAD F*** off and die
FOAF Friend Of A Friend
FOAG **** Off And Google
FOMC Fell Off My Chair
FS For Sale
FTASB Faster Than A Speeding Bullet
F2F Face to Face
FTF Face To Face
FTL Faster Than Light
FUBAR Fouled Up Beyond All Repair
FUBB Fouled Up Beyond Belief.
FUD Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt
FURTB Full Up Ready To Burst
FWIW For What It’s Worth
FYA For Your Amusement
FYI For Your Information
G Grin, or Giggle
G1 Good One
G2G Got to Go
GA Go Ahead
GAL Get A Life
GD&R Grinning, Ducking and Running
GD&RF Grinning, Ducking and Running Fast
GD&WVF Grinning, Ducking, and Walking Very Fast
GDW Grin, Duck and Weave
GF Girl Friend.
GFN Gone For Now.
GFR Grim File Reaper
GG Good Game
GIDK Gee I Don't Know
GIWIST Gee, I Wish I’d Said That
GLGH Good Luck and Good Hunting
GMTA Great Minds Think Alike
GOWI Get On With It
GR&D Grinning, Running and Ducking
GTG Got To Go
GTSY Great To See You
H&K Hugs and Kisses
H4U Hot For You
HAK Hugs And Kisses
IAC In Any Case
IAE In Any Event
IANAL I Am Not A Lawyer (but ) A disclaimer which is usually followed by a legal opinion
IAW In Accordance With
IBK Idiot Behind Keyboard
IBTD I Beg To Differ
IC I See
IDK I Don't Know
IIABDFI If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It.
IIRC If I Remember Correctly
IIWM If It Were Me
IJWTK I Just Want To Know
IJWTS I Just Want To Say
IKWUM I Know What You Mean
IKYABWAI I Know You Are But What Am I?
IMA I Might Add
IMAO In My Arrogant Opinion
IMCO In My Considered Opinion
IME In My Experience
IMHO In My Humble Opinion
IMNSHO In My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO In My Opinion
IMPOV In My Point Of View
INPO In No Particular Order
IOW In Other Words
IRL In Real Life
ISS I’m So Sure
ISSYGTI I’m So Sure You Get The Idea!
ISWYM I See What You Mean
ITFA In The Final Analysis
ITSFWI If The Shoe Fits Wear It.
IWALU I Will Always Love You
IWBNI It Would Be Nice If
IYFEG Insert Your Favorite Ethnic Group
IYSS If You Say So
IYSWIM If You See What I Mean
J4F Just For Fun
JAM Just A Minute
JAS Just A Second
JC Just Chilling
JFI Just For Information
JIC Just In Case
JK Just Kidding
JMO Just My Opinion
JTLYK Just To Let You Know
JWK Just Wondering
K Okay
KHYF Know How You Feel
L Laugh
L8R Later
LABATYD or LAB&TYD Life's A Bitch And Then You Die
LJBF Let’s Just Be Friends
LLTA Lots and Lots of Thunderous Applause
LMAO Laughing My Ass Off
LMHO Laughing My Head Off
LOL Laughing Out Loud
LSHMBA Laughing So Hard My Belly Aches
LSHMBH Laughing So Hard My Belly Hurts.
LTHTT Laughing Too Hard To Type
LTM Laughing To Myself
LTNS Long Time No See
LTNT Long Time, No Type
LTS Laughing to Self
LUWAMH Love You With All My Heart.
LY Love You
LYLAB Love You Like A Brother
LYLAS Love You Like A Sister
MEGO My Eyes Glaze Over
\M/ Heavy Metal Music
MLA Multiple Letter Acronym
MOF Matter Of Fact
MOSS Member Of Same Sex
MOTAS Member Of The Appropriate Sex
MOTD Message of the day
MOTOS Member Of The Opposite Sex
MOTSS Member Of The Same Sex
MRA Moving Right Along
MTFBWY May The Force Be With You
MYOB Mind Your Own Business
NAVY Never Again Voluneer Yourself.
NBD No Big Deal
NE14KFC? Anyone for KFC?
NFW No Friggin' Way!
NHOH Never Heard Of Him/Her
NIH Not Invented Here
NIMBY Not In My Back Yard.
NINO Nothing In, Nothing Out or No Input, No Output
NITL Not In This Lifetime
NM Never Mind
NOYB None Of Your Business
NP No Problem
NQA No Questions Asked
NRN No Response Necessary
NTIM Not That It Matters
NTIMM Not That It Matters Much
NTW Not To Worry
NTYMI Now That You Mention It
O Over (indicates the end of a communication)
OATUS On A Totally Unrelated Subject
OAUS On An Unrelated Subject
OB Obligatory
OBO Or Best Offer
OBTW Oh, By The Way
OIC Oh, I See
OMG Oh My God
ONNA Oh No, Not Again
ONNTA Oh No, Not This Again
OO Over and Out (end of communication)
OOTC Obligatory On-Topic Comment
OST On Second Thoughts
OTF On the Floor (laughing)
OTFL On the Floor Laughing
OTL Out To Lunch
OTOH On The Other Hand
OTOOH On The Other Other Hand
OTT Over The Top
OTTH On The Third Hand
OTTOMH Off The Top Of My Head
OWTTE Or Words To That Effect
PABG Packing a Big Gun
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
PD Public Domain
PDS Please Don't Shout. (typing all in capital letters is rude)
PITA Pain In The Ass
PLOKTA Press Lots Of Keys To Abort
PMBI Pardon My Butting In
PMF Pardon My French or Pure Freaking Magic.
PMFBI Pardon Me For Butting In
PMFJI Pardon Me For Jumping In
PMIGBOM Put Mind In Gear, Before Opening Mouth
PMJI Pardon My Jumping In
PMP Peeing My Pants
PNCAH Please, No Cursing Allowed Here
POS Parent Over Shoulder
POS Piece of S**t
POSSLQ Person Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters
POTUS President of the United States
PPL People
PTMM Please Tell Me More
QT Cutie
R U THERE? Are you there?
RAEBNC Read And Enjoyed, But No Comment
RE Hello again or In Regard To
REHI Hi again
RHIP Rank Has Its Privileges
RL Real Life
RLCO Real Life Conference
ROFL Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROFLAS Rolling On Floor Laughing And Screaming
ROFLMAO Roll On Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROTF Rolling On The Floor
ROI Return on Investment
ROTFL Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFLMAOTID Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off Till I Die
ROTFLOL Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud
ROTFLOLAPMP Rolling On The Floor Laughing Out Loud And Peeing My Pants
ROTFLTIC Rolling On The Floor Laughing Till I Cry
RRQ Return Receipt Request
RSN Real Soon Now
RSVP Respondez S'il Vous Plait - please reply
RTBM Read The Bloody Manual
RTFAQ Read The Frequently Asked Questions
RTFF Read The Freaking FAQ
RTFM Read The F------ Manual
RTM Read The Manual
RTSM Read The Silly Manual
RTWFQ Read The Whole Friggin' Question
RYFM Read Your Friendly Manual
RYS Read Your Screen
S Smile
SAPFU Surpassing All Previous Foul Ups
SCNR Sorry, Could Not Resist
SEC Wait a second
SETE Smiling Ear To Ear
SFLA Stupid Four Letter Acronym
SICS Sitting In Chair Snickering
SLM See Last Mail
SMOP Small Matter of Programming
SNAFU Situation Normal: All Fouled Up
SO Significant Other
SOB Stressd Out Bigtime
SOL SH** Out Of Luck
SOS Same Old Stuff or Help!
SOW Speaking Of Which
SUFID Screwing Up Face In Disgust.
SUL Snooze You Loose
SWIM See What I Mean?
SWL Screaming With Laughter
SYS See You Soon.
TAF That's All, Folks!
TAFN That’s All For Now
TAKS That's a knee slapper
TANJ There Ain’t No Justice
TANSTAAFL There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TARFU Things Are Really Fouled Up
TBD To Be Decided
TBYB Try Before You Buy
TCO Total Cost of Ownership
TDM Too Darn Many
TFS Three Finger Salute (Ctl-Alt-Del).
TFTHAOT Thanks For The Help Ahead Of Time
TFTT Thanks For The Thought
TGAL Think Globally, Act Locally
THX Thanks
TIA Thanks In Advance
TIC Tongue In Cheek
TINWIS That Is Not What I Said
TNSTAAFL There's No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TNTL Trying Not To Laugh
TNX Thanks
TNXE6 Thanks A Million
TOBAL There Oughta Be A Law.
TOBG This Oughta Be Good.
TOY Thinking Of You.
TPTB The Powers That Be
TRDMC Tears Running Down My Cheeks.
TS Totally Stinks
TSR Totally Stupid Rules.
TTBOMK To The Best Of My Knowledge
TTFN Ta Ta For Now
TTKSF Trying To Keep a Straight Face
TTUL Talk To You Later
TTTT To Tell The Truth
TTYAWFN Talk To You A While From Now.
TTYL Talk To You Later
TTYT Talk To You Tomorrow.
TYCLO Turn Your CAPS LOCK Off (Stop Shouting)
TYVM Thank You Very Much
UOK Are You OK?
WAEF When All Else Fails
WAG Wild Assed Guess
WB Welcome Back
WDALYIC Who died and left you in charge?
WDYMBT What Do You Mean By That?
WDYT What Do You Think?
WE Whatever
WIBAMU Well, I'll Be A Monkey's Uncle
WIBNI Wouldn’t It Be Nice If
WMMOWS Wash My Mouth Out With Soap
WNOHGB Where No One Has Gone Before
WOA Work Of Art
WOTAM Waste Of Time And Money
WRT With Regard To, or With Respect To
WT Without Thinking
WTB Want To Buy
WTF What The F***?
WTG Way To Go!
WTGP Want To Go Private?
WTH What the hell?
WTN What then now?
WTN Who then now?
WTTM Without Thinking Too Much.
WYGISWYPF What You Get Is What You Pay For
XOXOXO Kisses and hugs
YABA Yet Another Bloody Acronym
YAOTM Yet Another Off-Topic Message
YAUN Yet Another Unix Nerd
YBYSA You Bet Your Sweet A**
YGLT You're Gonna Love This
YGTI You Get The Idea?
YGTBK You've Got To Be Kidding
YGWYPF You Get What You Pay For
YIU Yes, I Understand
YIWGP Yes, I Will Go Private
YKYARW You Know You're A Redneck When
YKWIM You know what I mean
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary (or your experience could be different)

I love the word peultimate (as well as antepenultimate) - it has a ring to it. But today I was thinking about the penultimate stroke of the cane.

Luckily my Cariad is rather good at judging my limits and knows how far to go. We both find the cane very sexy, so it almost always features if we 'play' at home. To be effective it has to be bearable, but only just. I sometimes know how many strokes of the cane I'm getting and sometimes not. if I don't know how many I'm to get, I am always told when I'm getting the final three or six for the time being. And that's where the penultimate stroke comes into its own.

The caning will usually get progressively more painful, but the last few strokes inevitably so. And almost always, that penultimate bite of the cane will take my breath away and leave me gasping, knowing that always, the final stroke of the cane will take me to my limit. And it does. For then. And sometimes later, the process begins again....

I attempted a blog a few days ago, but it all went wrong and I gave up (note to Belinda/Melinda and friends - Not enough PMA )
My friend G had sent me a pic of a toaster made of toast and I remembered seeing ML made of toast. On googling I found three versions of toasty Monas so sent G silly emails with these images.
I thought it would be fun to post them here as well, but it all got confusing and complicated and I gave up. I just noticed the pic of toasty toaster and one of the MLs is in my 'media section, despite lack of actual post...

On his blog, Timsuzi asks "If I love my wife surely I could just fantasise about this on my own without having to act it out?"

I think it's more complex. I honestly believe that for some spanking or a fetish is central to who they are. For others it's intriguing thought, passing fancy or something to play with when jaded. To me it is the difference between being gay or actively bisexual compared with being 'bi-curious' and considering a little experiment.

I did think of an analogy. Imagine that you are gay but fell for someone of the opposite sex. (reverse for same sex if you're gay and imagine you're straight etc..)You loved that person and enjoyed sex with them and were faithful. But every time you had an erotic fantasy you were imagining gay sex...

I have had wonderful partners and wonderful sex, but at some level there was a dishonesty because my fantasy life was totally spanking.

With the Internet, spankos are now far more out of the closet and aware of each other and so face huge challenges as acting out the fantasy and coping with repercussions is possible in a way it may not have been before.

Apparently sex is not a major issue in a relationship when the sex is working well. If sex isn't right it can be huge issue.

Timsuzi has started an interesting debate on male and female reading patterns that interested me. Without making judgements i think that there do tend to be 'patterns' of reading along gender lines, though of course there are lots of variations. The following is an extract from one of my 'straight'short stories, based on my own observations. it also reflects the weird way some women think any bloke who is sensitive, empathic,thoughtful, and likes them(!) must be gay/suspect...

His apparently odd taste in literature was an asset in Spain but a cause for curiosity at home. One of his favourite writers was Deborah Moggach. He thought her ideal for a light holiday read. Somehow though, she had the imagination to portray apparently genuine human frailty in the most varied and sometimes extraordinary circumstances - anything from incest to lonely fathers through surrogacy and murder. One day at work the female smokers were deep in conversation about "Seesaw", a kidnap drama by Moggach that several of them had seen. When asked if he'd seen it he not only expressed his enjoyment of the programme but also waxed lyrical about Moggach as a writer and mentioned the books he'd read. He registered the exchanged looks and realised that while he was 'allowed' to appreciate a living woman's work on the T.V. he wasn't supposed to enjoy novels by women.

He refined the theory and decided men were not supposed to read women novelists unless they were 'classic' - which usually seemed to mean dead! Male readers of even classic literature were a bit suspect unless they were literature graduates or English teachers. Male accountants were not meant to be interested in women novelists or even certain male writers. He got the impression that the likes of Roddy Doyle, Julian Barnes and Ian McEwan had mysteriously been subsumed into 'chick-lit' - excepting of course the first few McEwans with their dark themes; now that he wrote about relationships and love he was however, welcomed into the female enclave. And as for Louis de Buernieres... Surely Chris couldn't be the only man to have read about the bloody mandolin! Not one of his favourite reads but it had been recommended by the most intense nurse he'd ever met or bedded...

Perversely, women writing about murder were acceptable as legitimate male reading. He'd not read an Agatha Christie since his teens; he'd gorged on them for a while then found he couldn't face another one. Like many people he found Ruth Rendell and P.D. James very readable but he just didn't mention their psychological insights except when he was in Spain. It was funny how women not dissimilar to his colleagues would be so impressed by his sensitivity and reading matter under Spanish sunshine or moonlight.

The women who seemed interested in him in Spain knew him to be Welsh by birthplace and British through and through but a Spanish speaking Brit who shared their taste in books just seemed desirable on the Costa. He suspected he was less threatening than an alien 'foreigner' but a more interesting holiday romance than the typical Brit abroad. His catholic taste in literature was genuine but once he realised the possibilities of his love of books he widened the scope to include whatever was the big 'bonkbuster', 'sex and shopping' or 'saga' best-seller at the airport.

My Cariad and I were sat drinking coffee (him) and hot chocolate (me) and watching the daffodils discussing spanking - as you (we!) do...
He is convinced it is always sexual. While I agree it is for us, I believe some of those who claim otherwise, while seeing (as previously stated) that it suits some to see it otherwise.

Today we had a lovely, if sleepy time together, due to shift patterns, and I was once again reminded of how utterly central spanking is to our sexuality. I had thought that if I ever had a partner who was into spanking it would be something we'd do occasionally, and he had thought the same. We didn't realise how beautifully enmeshed it would be throughout our erotic life together. On the few times we are more conventional sexually, it is somehow in the background and because we both know that, it becomes part of the eroticism, even when not happening - a touch, look or joke and we both know what the other is thinking...

Just heard that Gene Pitney has just died in Cardiff - So far from Tulsa, but lovely and sunny in Cardiff today.
R.I.P. Gene
Suzee
xxx

I've written lots of short stories - Spanking and 'straight' and not getting anywhere with trying to get published. I've been looking into ebooks, whch look quite possible, especially as spanking is apparently a niche market. It seems spanking and such is perfectly OK in romance, erotic/romance field, but not such a focus on spanking. I'd like to try getting stuff out there to see if there is a market. The option for people to buy either ebook or real book seems a good option to me.

I know that issue of blogging as type of vanity publishing has been discussed here. I don't have a problem with idea in principle of self-publishing - Just would be interesting to know others' views and/or experiences

Wonder if anyone has produced or read ebook or bought from such sites...

Good to hear any thoughts anyone has on this.
Cheers,
Suzee
xx

Hi Suzee,
just a couple of questions.

Was there a 'Road to Damacus' moment when you suddenly felt that you could accept your sexuality?

Do you feel frustration with the idea of internalised oppresion as it clearly prevented you from fully accepting yourself?

Love timsuzi xx

No 'Road to Damacus' moment - just a gradual coming to terms and some huge steps...

First giant step was being single in my late twenties
I decided I’d like a sex life and I would get one in an honest, adult way. I would do it through the ads. I decided to do so through an ‘adult’ magazine. I also figured as I was planning to meet potential sexual partners I could risk the fantasy. With trepidation I wrote to a man who listed ‘spanking’ as an interest. I had some experience with him, but in an embarrassed, confused way. The relationship fizzled as we had little in common.

I then advertised myself and met a lovely man and had a wonderful relationship for twelve years. Although he knew, I was too embarrassed to push anything and it simply lay dormant in my life but active in my imagination.

I then wrote autobiographical piece (See stuff on my site for details if interested)and decided to have a go at writing spanking fiction. This gave me excuse to search net and I found fellow spankos and started to feel more normal about it but not entirely.

I found myself drawn to someone in cyber who shared the fantasy and I was confused and needed to sort my head out, so confided in my best female friend - Although she is accepting and liberal and I knew she'd be OK it was one of the hardest things I'd ever done.

And then when I knew I was gong to be published I told my best male friend. Since then I've relaxed and am semi out of the closet.

Do you feel frustration with the idea of internalised oppresion as it clearly prevented you from fully accepting yourself?

No, because I believe IO is a genuine and damaging reality that keeps some people oppressed. It certainly limited my options as a woman growing up. It might well be that IO formed my view of sexuality and the erotic, but I do not feel a victim of it as I have now made choices that are personally liberating.