On his blog, Timsuzi asks "If I love my wife surely I could just fantasise about this on my own without having to act it out?"

I think it's more complex. I honestly believe that for some spanking or a fetish is central to who they are. For others it's intriguing thought, passing fancy or something to play with when jaded. To me it is the difference between being gay or actively bisexual compared with being 'bi-curious' and considering a little experiment.

I did think of an analogy. Imagine that you are gay but fell for someone of the opposite sex. (reverse for same sex if you're gay and imagine you're straight etc..)You loved that person and enjoyed sex with them and were faithful. But every time you had an erotic fantasy you were imagining gay sex...

I have had wonderful partners and wonderful sex, but at some level there was a dishonesty because my fantasy life was totally spanking.

With the Internet, spankos are now far more out of the closet and aware of each other and so face huge challenges as acting out the fantasy and coping with repercussions is possible in a way it may not have been before.

Apparently sex is not a major issue in a relationship when the sex is working well. If sex isn't right it can be huge issue.