Varshakale has asked me some interesting and challenging questions which I have answered as best I can. Obviously they reflect my personal perspective, but as always am aware that others into spanking will see things differently. I hope the following is of interest.

Varshakale asked:

Is this phenomena also exist among some men? Do men excluding gays do have such tendencies?

I replied:

Absolutely! There are men and women who like to spank and who like to be spanked. There are also people of both sexes who lie to both give and receive. In terms of imagery however, popular culture tends to portray men spanking women. Where there are more complex forms of activities that include more fierce attention to more parts of the body and more obviously acted out power issues and sometimes ritualised humiliation the activities are known as BDSM which covers bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism. Images around BDSM tend to feature dominant women and submissive men.
My partner is dominant within our spanking activities, and socially I know men who are similar or more like me in their role and women who also may be submissive or dominant in such activities as well as those who 'switch' and enjoy both types of activities.

Varshkale also asked:

There is a difference between abuse, domestic violence and 'spanking'. Many Indian rural women take beating by their man if it is certain limit as a sign of love. Several women have told me that their husband is not a bad man though he beat them regularly. Some women see it like getting attention. But spanking is completely different from this I guess. The feelings involved seem to be far from being loved by partner, it is something else I guess. You can throw light on this. Do you feel being loved, cared or abused?

And I reponded:

No, the feeling for me is of being loved because my partner loves me and the activity gives us both pleasure.
For me, spanking is like sex. It is what you make it according the relationship and the participants' intentions. It can be meaningful, exploitative, shallow, deep, abusive, co-ercive, casual fun, a sign of love, contemptuous, sacramental, every-day, special, worthless, regrettable, celebratory, moving, loving, embarrassing, wonderful and anything else you can think of.
Women in the UK also see beating as attention and possible sign of love, because like children, they are fed such a message. And because of damaged self-esteem like children may see any attention as better than none. I see that as abuse.
That is why despite being happy with my nature I do worry about mixed messages and the vulnerability to abuse and exploitation that exists for all and especially for women.
Domestic violence still kills more women and girls worldwide than disease, starvation or war. Oxfam does excellent research into this. And in the UK a woman dies at the hands of her partner or ex-partner every three days.
I guess the analogy for me between spanking and domestic violence would be with sex and rape. The means may look the same but the intent and effect is absolutely not, but it is easy to cause doubt and confusion because of this. And rapists and those who practice violence are able to exploit the confusion. Victims believe they must have 'asked for it', or it wasn't really against their will or fear they will not be believed if they say such things. And society believes it a private matter and/or are reluctant to label a possibly innocent person.
Thank you for the opportunity to explore and explain such issues.

A dialogue with varshakale has prompted this posting. it is an extract from an autobiographical piece I had published on the dilemma of coming to terms with my nature as a spankee while espousing feminism.

I am grateful to Maria Marcus, author of 'A Taste for Pain: On Masochism and Female Sexuality'. What was helpful was Ms Marcus’s premise that masochistic sexual fantasies do not have to be part and parcel of a general masochism. On the dedication page of the book she quotes from “Lilith’s Manifesto” in Sisterhood is Powerful:
And Sister, if you can’t turn on to a man who won’t club you and drag you off by the hair, that’s yours (hang up). Keep your hang ups the hell out of this revolution.
The thought of a sexual relationship with the modern equivalent of this stereotype of Neanderthal behaviour fills me with horror. I am not naïve about real violence and have dedicated many years to both a women’s refuge organisation and the rape crisis movement. My private sexuality however is fuelled by some very un-feminist fantasies. I tried ‘regulating’ my unorthodoxy having read some earnest articles on the subject in the days of ‘Spare Rib.’ I seem to remember something on the lines of non-feminist fantasies being damaging and something the fantasisers should defeat/outgrow. I tried, honestly I did.

Actually writing the article was personally liberating and led to me discussing this with friends, exploring issues and writing spanking erotica. It also led to dramatic changes in my life and meeting my beloved Cariad.

My cariad is one of the gentlest people I have ever met. He feeds the birds, delights in eyecontact with babies and cats and is a gifted teacher. And he happens to have a kink that matches mine perfectly. I consider us blessed to have found each other.

Last time my Cariad used the now-shortened metre stick on me he didn't manage to break any more off it, but did catch me quite low. He hates causing me pain that 'doesn't work' for me and is rather good at getting it right, so this was an unusual occurrence.
I snarled “And if you tell me that that one didn’t count, you’ll be out the f**king door!”

We both got the giggles, but he continued with the ruler to great effect.

There have been times that a blow has gone astray and to my indignation (and later amusement) I had been informed that it didn’t count and got an extra one. This time however, I was really feeling the effect of the metre stick and found myself responding automatically much to the amusement of us both.

In terms of spanking the seventh stroke, like the penultimate stroke has an eroticism of its own. If I do not know how many strokes of the cane, hairbrush, ruler, belt or crop I am getting there is a delicious agony about whether there will be a seventh and what that will bring.

My Cariad happens to be a traditionalist. Like me and I guess many others the phrase 'six of the best' has embedded itself into his psyche and when not simply delivering a flurry or trying for an even reddening, my Cariad almost always delivers in groups of six.

On the sixth stroke of the cane or belt I almost always think I have had enough, but part of me longs for and dreads the seventh stroke… Knowing that a seventh is never a seventh, but the first of another set of six. And the anticipation and ambivalence I feel towards the seventh stroke, puts me more into my lover’s power and deepens the eroticism and challenge of the journey we take together to our mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

He usually informs me of what will be the final six strokes that are almost always delivered by the cane. And we both know that the sixth stroke heralds the end of that particular phase. But up until then, as he chooses paddle, brush, belt or cane I count silently up to six and the respite before he chooses another instrument, or sense the seventh stroke that is never merely the seventh stroke, but always a first…

Reading your previous posts I realise that I am not just ignorant but completely illiterate and dumb person. What is it all about? What is spanking, spanco? I dont know the basics and terminology. Can you help me to explain this more explicitely.

That's quite a question! Some people get emotional or sexual satisfaction from pain or giving others power over themselves. Spanking is striking the buttocks usually with the hand, but also with instruments such as canes, hairbrushes, belts, slippers etc. I am one of those people who get pleasure by such means and 'spanko' is a slang word for people like me.

There will be all sorts of psychological theories around this but like sexuality there will be no definite answers. For example, some (like me) see spanking between consenting aduls as sexual, but others see it as purely emotional or physical but not sexual. I said it was complicated!

I have written lots about this on my blog if you want to know more. I have also writen about it on a website (link on my profile page). I do realise that this will seem absurd, bizzarre, distasteful, boring, pointless or immoral to some people and I accept that.

I do not approve of spanking or physical chastisement of any child or of any adult who does not wish to receive such treatment.

I hope this answers the questions you and others may have.

Best wishes,
Suzee

btw are you submissive in life or just in role play?

I am absolutely not submissive in everyday life and am considered to be pretty assertive. There are people who may even find me bossy!

I also seem to have an affinity with sub men - my Cariad thinks it's because my everyday persona makes it seem possible I have Domme tendencies.

I am far too passionate about equality stuff to get my head around real life submissivness, although I have met very assertive subs. I've also read some interesting 'equal but different' stuff by subs and can see where they are coming from, but it would not suit me.

I don't actually roleplay - When we have time and inclination my Cariad and I just get into a mood and it happens. It's rather like the dance and check-out of interest for vanilla stuff. A word, intonation, gesture or look and we know that the other is thinking about spanking and like an intimate dance we choose to go ahead or not. As we're still a young relationship (three years) and our time together is limited, we tend to always go with the flow!

How it goes is a headspace and mood thing. Although we don't adopt a role, like good sex our spanking sessions can vary from light to dark and playful to serious. Sometimes I am more 'submissive' during session and sometimes challenging and sometimes we both get the giggles, but it always remains erotic, whichever mood takes us.

Hope this answers your question. Happy to explain further if you or anyone has questions...

I’ve just had really pleasant time listening to Radio 4’s opening programme on memory. And realised that last night my friend G and I (yet again!) were discussing frailty of memory and I forgot to mention this series of programmes that I knew about and thought I would listen to! I did respond to an email to G this morning, but it crashed! So I shall send him a copy of this. And as a result of crash I am carefully writing this as a Word doc and saving every few sentences. Of course I shall soon get back into habit of writing directly into blog and occasionally losing my words of wisdom.

I have mixed feelings about issue of false memory. As timsuzi’s piece demonstrates, memory is open to ‘corruption’ and stuff I have read elsewhere confirms this. I worry about the use of ‘false memory syndrome’ as an instrument to undermine the levels of abuse I believe to exist (but don’t wish to discuss fully as it isn’t what I wish to blog about), but I have actual proof of a false memory of my own.

I ‘remember’ that I went to see the film ‘Carrie’ with friends and that a certain occurrence in film startled me so much that I swore out loud. And I remember my friend M laughing hysterically. M swore she wasn’t there, but I remembered her presence. Later I was looking through my diary and I’d listed those who went to cinema – And M wasn’t there! So although I ‘remember’ her presence I know it is a false memory. I know enough about memory to realise that we tend to remember the retelling of the memory more powerfully than actual memory, so of course the anecdotes of my false memory actually strengthen the image of it!

And because of the impact of me swearing she was there, M remembers it as well. I saw M for first time in ages and once again I was teased about 'the time we saw Carrie together'. I did tell her that I tell everyone about me being wrong, and now it's here as well, strangers will also know!

Perhaps one day I'll be telling a friend or acquaintenance who doesn't know about my Suzee side about the 'Carrie' incident and they'll wonder where they had heard it before or will say 'You are Suzee Moon' and I'll inadvertedly out myself!

The R4 thing sounds really good and I did enjoy the first programme; so do listen out for it – if you remember to do so!

Hi Blighty,

Thanks for taking the trouble to raise such interesting points.

Your post raises a whole host of discussion points and parallels to my own experience. Particularly on two points, a). Information versus Misinformation, and the power of the media to inform opinion. b). The different perspectives that variant sexualities have on bdsm. But comments page isnt the place for me to elaborate lol.
One thing, There is a theory that as society is becoming more socially egalitarian, so the sub/dom butch/fem daddy/twink subgenres of homosexuality will fade out. Its certainly true that the flannel shirted lezbo thing is not exactly in vogue these days. Speaking for myself. I only have one aim. To be myself. I guess that posits me as just a typical fem. Bar the absence of a ring I doubt anyone would be able to pick up any sexual preference cues from style or behavior. In the lez scene there seems to be a lot of two kinds of gurls, a). ordinary *be yourself* type fem girls, b). fem girls in a lesbian culture kinda way, ie; the odd tat, piercing, or fem les hairstyle. The thing about this it is thats its pretty indivisable from mainstream young womens style. Try tell difference between rock chick look, with tite boot cut jeans and studded belt, and boob T shirt, and any young les. There's no difference. So there's a lot of crossover now. Thats a good thing. And maybe its adding to the increase in bisexuality among women as they begin to see possibilities that wasnt there in the days of Alice bands twinsets and pearls.. ugh stepford.. omFg!

I find that issues of info/misinfo and differing perspectives on BDSM are particularly interesting.

The theory of egalitarianism and disappearance of ‘sub/dom butch/fem daddy/twink subgenres’ is intriguing, but I can’t see it, just because power exchange can be so erotic and images from the past remain for a long time. I’m not into the ‘school scene’ of spanking and caning, but it is as powerful among youngsters as it is among those who have memories of such things. Having lived through corporal punishment era or not doesn’t seem necessary for fascination with idea.

‘The flannel shirted lezbo’ may be a dying breed but she still exists among a certain breed of older, earnest women in my experience and her younger sister simply wears ‘Cotton traders’ or similar, but still has that ‘look’. One young lesbian introduced me to the concept she described as ‘Diesel Dyke’ and I knew what she meant. That said I do know straight feminists who look like the old lesbian stereotype and lesbians of various style and femininity.

I did have interesting chat with lesbian colleague. We’d been joking about high-heeled shoes and I admitted my liking for such things. She explained how she didn’t go for the stereotype ‘sexy’ stuff and basques, suspenders etc did nothing for her. She was rather amused when I told her I thought she was probably more sexually evolved than those of us who find such things erotic! I love it that some men find such things a turn-on and I just feel sexier when dressed if I am wearing stereotype feminine and sexy stuff.

As an old-fashioned feminist in her fifties I do understand that my ideas of sexuality have been formed on ideas of ‘men’s imagined women’ and male stereotypes of sexuality, but the imprinting has occurred and gives me and my lover some pleasure so I just accept it. If my lover ‘expected’ me to conform to such stereotypes I would refuse, but as an ‘added extra’ it is just fun for us both.

I agree about young women’s look and crossover thing. And amused by Stepford stuff. I always thought the wholesome Doris Day thing was rather sexy because it was so defile-able! I can’t look innocent so I can’t do it. I have a filthy laugh, am big, dark and have a very wiggly walk! I looked ‘naughty’ when I was innocent and I’m no longer innocent!

Found some...

If you can't manage astral spanking....
I have seen silly cartoons of spanking machines so had a quick google, but could only find this to fit the bill. I did discover a Goth band called 'Spanking machine, though!

I found this from the Fetish Information Exchange (www.fetishexchange.org) and thought it was rather interesting. Having joked about the anoraks of health and safety I wanted to make point that playing safe is actually important, but you don’t really need a masterclass (pun intended!) to smack a bum. When I googled ‘Safe, sane and consensual, this was one of sites I found.

Thinking about issues around mainstreaming and Paddy’s comments on specific images, I thought the stuff about dominatrixes particularly interesting. I thought this was an interesting and sensible perspective on EPE which is what I also believe is central to spanking and BDSM.

Factual Information for Media Professionals
confronted with Erotic Power Exchange

Media coverage is extremely important when it comes to the image the world has about any group in society. It may even be decisive. And as for any other group, this is true for the erotic power exchange world as well. Since erotic power exchange is attracting more interest in society, it is only logical the phenomena gets increased media coverage. In addition, the current trend - especially in audiovisual media - to try and cover more eroticism in general contributes extra to this trend.
Journalists trying to cover the subject are faced with various difficulties and complications - the most important being the complexity of the subject as well as the difficulty to find people who feel comfortable with talking about their most intimate emotions in mass media. Next to that, to an outsider it is not easy to understand the cultural differences within the group and the subject takes up quite a bit of research and/or pre-production time as well as space or air time to cover it in a more serious way.
The "Scene" does not exist
Despite what general opinion would like people to believe, there is no such thing as "an EPE (or BDSM) scene." Instead there are different cultures, different sexual preferences and most of all individuals and couples practicing or just fantasizing about power dynamics in an erotic setting. One of the main difficulties is that - as a result of the very individual determination of sexual behavior in general and with that erotic power exchange - it is extremely hard, if not entirely impossible to find common denominators. Hence talking to one or two people will only sketch THEIR views. These may be significantly different from others and are most certainly not THE views or opinions.
First of all, there are very distinct differences in culture, based on sexual preference. Homosexual EPE is very different in many aspects from its heterosexual equivalent. Homosexual men are - in their EPE-emotions - very different from homosexual women and within the heterosexual world the first main difference should be made between the Maledom/femsub (dominant man/submissive woman) and the Femdom(me)/malesub (dominant woman/submissive man) cultures. When concentrating on the heterosexual "world" only, one of the major differences is the fact that the Femdom(me) culture is dominated by women, who have made a profession out of their nature; a phenomena that is almost non-existent in the Maledom/femsub culture (although there are professional submissive women).
Most of the literature available is about homosexual erotic power exchange, where power dynamics are different, the culture is much outward oriented and - although this a dangerous generalization - generally speaking, more rough. In addition, there are many technical differences between homosexual and heterosexual EPE. Another very important consideration is that sexuality between members of the same sex is entirely different from sexuality between members of the opposite sex. Beyond these major variances, there are many other heterosexual-specific concerns, such as the fact that a heterosexual couple will usually be confronted with having to raise children. It is, therefor, impossible to rely on available literature when it comes to form an undistorted opinion on heterosexual erotic power exchange.
The image of erotic power exchange is, to a large extent, generated by both pornography on one end and one-sided, dysfunction-oriented clinical and scientific research. Hence the picture the media paint - for understandable reasons - is a picture very few erotic power exchange people would recognize. One of the main reasons for this sullied view of EPE is the fact that it is difficult for media to get people to talk about their emotions. The majority of people interviewed - since they are usually the only ones available - are people who are commercially active in the erotic power exchange world - predominantly dominatrixes. These people usually and again understandably, have a one-sided image. Professional EPE-activity is a commercial enterprise with the aim to make profit, not to express the person's own feelings towards a partner. Since the vast majority of EPE-professionals are dominatrixes, they will attract a very specific type of person, in particular submissive men. Very few of the clients a professional dominatrix has, have an active erotic power exchange relationship with their partner. And, the professionals interviewed have an entirely different agenda. Their motive is not to give unprejudiced information about their subject. Their first objective is to attract (more) clients and the immediate second motive is to make sure they stand out from their colleagues.
A picture based on alternate motives
Unfortunately, the EPE image is predominantly influenced by several elements all of which have ulterior motives. Non of them have had or currently have the objective to communicate unprejudiced information. Let's make an interesting list of the four most influential factors on the image of erotic power exchange:
Science
The majority of scientific publications on the subject originate from the psychological/psychiatric field. None of the publications available deals with the power exchange between healthy, well-adjusted people, capable to make safe, sane, consensual, well-informed and conscious decisions. Instead, all these publications deal with people seeking help (usually from the author) and have been written primarily to advocate either one specific opinion or one specific treatment by one specific therapist. Unfortunately, there is no broad, large scale research available on the phenomena of EPE. It is estimated that as much as 30 percent of the adult population has erotic power exchange fantasies and is (potentially) active in this area. The largest group that has ever been the subject of research is a group from approximately two hundred people from one country. This can hardly be called representative for the worldwide group, hence all conclusions should not be projected on the entire population. Unfortunately, this happens all too frequently.
Furthermore, much of the available scientific research available and quoted, is extremely outdated. This is especially true of politicians, legislators and lawyers in many countries who will go back and cite research that is at least thirty or forty years old. Whereas no court or scientific body in the world would accept other (semi)medical data that old as a basis for judgment, when it comes to erotic power exchange this is still generally accepted.
Pornography and pseudo-experts
These two groups are mentioned in one header deliberately because pseudo-experts predominantly style themselves on the pictures painted by pornography, sometimes cleverly validating themselves and their views by misquoting scientists. Both pornography and pseudo-experts have only one objective: to sell as many books, articles, magazines or videos and CDs as they possibly can. Erotic power exchange-related pornography is mainly sold to people who are NOT active in erotic power exchange. Much of what is sold is - unfortunately - quite often mistaken for information, especially by people who are new to the subject. The picture painted is not meant to give information, but instead, is meant to indulge fantasy. In these situations fantasy does not have to become reality, and when it comes to erotic power exchange, hardly ever does fully.
Media
Without making any judgments here, the media plays an important role in the image-building. Next to the difficulties sketched above - the fact that it is indeed extremely difficult to depict a clear image of EPE and the unintentional effect of dominatrixes - it is obvious that excess-oriented journalism does not help and, again, does not have the objective of communicating factual and independent information, but has the objective of selling copy as well as entertaining.
The "community" itself
Even though the various support groups put a lot of effort in trying to inform and educate, their efforts show the average lack of experience in communication as well as the variety of opinions that even the EPE community itself holds. None of the support groups, not even larger national groups like the USA National Leather Association, have any critical sway in the EPE community, compared to the number of people interested in the subject. This is again the result of both the variety of opinions held as well as the different cultures. Individual subgroups are only just finding out they have a different identity from other like-minded people. This is new and somewhat disturbing to many and it is difficult for groups as well as individuals to find and identify with a "new" identity.
These support groups are small. They do not have one-tenth of the budget, that scientists and especially pornography producers can use. Therefor it is a very uneven battle, trying to fight the misinformation with little more than an old-fashioned duplicator when resources in the pornography industry are huge.
Finally, there are the well meant efforts of individuals, especially on the Internet, to try and build personal home pages that provide "information." Such information is usually highly individual (and as such useful for identification purposes) and of little or no relevance for a more general informational approach.
The bottom line is that the information/misinformation ratio is about 10:90. It is no wonder the image the outside world has is the wrong image; an image that has very little to do with the day-to-day practice of erotic power exchange.
Journalists and other media specialists will do their readers and viewers a tremendous service by presenting the facts about EPE, rather than the hype. The Erotic Power Exchange Information Center stands ready to assist the media in educating their audience in whatever manner they can.

Trolly's lovely piece on flying reminded me of one of my heroine's more prosaic approach to astral travel...

Sarah found herself looking at herself sprawled on the bed. She shook her head sadly. What a mess! Slowly it dawned on Sarah that she was actually looking at herself and not just thinking it.
"Great!" she thought, "I'm now quite mad. This is all I need!"
And it slowly dawned on Sarah that perhaps this was not madness after all and she might just have actually left her body...
...Excitement took over. Now she'd experienced something she would really learn how to do this astonishing thing. A wicked thought bubbled up: "Murder by Proxy!” She had a vague memory of a horror story she'd read in her teens. It was something on the lines of a man 'training' his out-of-body self to manipulate objects and committing murder with a well-aimed ashtray. Satisfying thought, but not really her style. She wasn't feeling murderous just sad and confused...
...Sarah had a wonderful time. "All the advantages of the Invisible Man stories without the hassle of the clothing dilemma" she thought as she planned the big operation: spying on them together!

A spanking story with astral travel....now there's a thought!

From what I've noticed on the gay scene it's as though the two things MUST go together. You cannot have one with the other but in reality you can.
As for "lipstick BDSM" I think it is becoming a genre in it's own right, but I think it's also on the verge of becoming a fad that people will claim to be part of just by the way they dress, when in reality they are trying to fall into the crowd.
How long did it take for the Japanese school girl look hit the scene with everyone in Hello Kitty tops, knee length white socks and hair in bunches?
I'd like to question those in clubs, just a simple yes or no, "you dress like that but do you practice it?" I imagine the majority would be answer no, and I don't see anything wrong in this, but does give a certain impression.

Paddy's comment on mainstreaming of BDSM fashion etc.

Gosh, that's awfully reductive isn't it? it hadn't even occurred to me that gays would be automatically BDSM any more than than I believe its all 'Cage aux Folles' - Of course some fall into stereotypes, but it's hardly universal. Do you think the 'scene' just captures the most narrow ideas of male sexuality? I saw interesting progamme by gay male on what's wrong with gays focussing on this. It seemed to say that the scene pandered for those who were sexual libertines only. I guess that non-vanilla stuff would therefore be more cutting edge. It’s a bit like Julie Burchill saying years ago that everyone had to be into anal sex and swapping and all sorts because it was now the norm. I seem to remember she’d written a novel reflecting this sexual cornucopia!

While I am OK with libertines subect to 'safe, sane and consensual' it's nice not to have assumptions made about one's sexuality and choices.

I do know of BDSMers who hate the club scene because it does seem to be about expensive fancydress only. But of course there must be those who have 'it's only fashion' as their cover story and are desperate for someone to take up the challenge!

Well, once again the most lively discussion resulted from a non-spanking topic so I thought I'd combine spanking and memes...
Reading up on memes it occurred to me that memes seemed to reflect stuff about zeitgeist as well. What do people think? And I'm very aware (as I keep saying!) that spanking and BDSM and their imagery and ideas from them are more and more in the mainstream in fashion, adverts, music and popular culture generally. So is spanking and BDSM part of a current meme/zeitgeist - either, neither or both? Or am I just obsessed and imagining it?
On the other hand if anyone just wants to discuss spanking I think I can do that as well...

that's it - A couple of references to them and I don't know what a meme is...
And now all you non-spankos can post safely and let me know!
of course i'm happy to hear from spankos as well - This is an equal opportunity blog!

Well, here I am a cutting edge writer of naughtiness and I finally get a record postbag - On techie problems! OK, it was mainly Paddy and Lifelessons having a nice little chat, but an impressive little list of comments I thought. And it's a change from my very welcome but mysterious silent readers.

I may have to give up this spanking lark and let you big strong men and the delightful troll supply me with techie advice instead!

Anyway, nice hearing from you folks and thanks for advice.
Suzee
xxx

I love new format, but encountered a problem. having recently lost something I was writing when my computer crashed I wrote last entry as Word doc and planned to copy and paste. But when I went to do so, I couldn't get 'paste' command within the writing box. Luckily could do so using old HTML editor. Is this a feature, or was it just me? if it's not possible to paste seems a shame.
Anyone else having problems with it?

If you visit any decent spanking or BDSM site they will extol the virtues of safe, sane and consensual and I heartily agree. Taking drugs including alcohol when ‘playing’ is not considered sensible, and as a non-druggie teetotaller it’s not usually an issue. I was socialising with some friends recently and my mad afternoon of indulgence came up, so I thought I’d mention it here.

I’m not especially interested in mind-altering stuff and as said don’t drink alcohol. I was however intrigued by others’ experience of marijuana and felt it was not overly risky to have a minor experiment. As a non-smoker, I found it impossible to do so by the usual means so I tried a couple of fairy cakes with an added ingredient.

My Cariad and I were general smooching and cuddling when I got very thirsty. He went to fetch a drink and I lay there and thought “I’m going to laugh and I have no reason to, but I’m going to anyway” And it just seemed amazingly funny so I laughed. He realised what was happening and got the giggles and we were off.

Luckily he was compos mentis (which is sensible – back to the health warnings!) and we just had a delightfully erotic afternoon. My sense of time was all over the place, so it was lucky he was in charge! I do remember thinking a caning was a brilliant idea but I wasn’t capable of bending over! I was assisted upstairs and we found the bed rather useful.

The other abiding memory was feeling that I was upside down, although things never quite got that far and we both remember me practically falling off the sofa as my legs climbed up the back and my head ended up on the floor.

It was a fabulous afternoon, but very much a ‘once-off’. I’m sure a second try wouldn’t be nearly as much fun and it seems silly to try and re-create when we have such fun without the ‘enhancement'. That said it was a fabulous day that I’ll treasure.

...should you still occasionally peruse these pages! Fifty's good, but personally I find fifty-one even better!