From what I've noticed on the gay scene it's as though the two things MUST go together. You cannot have one with the other but in reality you can.
As for "lipstick BDSM" I think it is becoming a genre in it's own right, but I think it's also on the verge of becoming a fad that people will claim to be part of just by the way they dress, when in reality they are trying to fall into the crowd.
How long did it take for the Japanese school girl look hit the scene with everyone in Hello Kitty tops, knee length white socks and hair in bunches?
I'd like to question those in clubs, just a simple yes or no, "you dress like that but do you practice it?" I imagine the majority would be answer no, and I don't see anything wrong in this, but does give a certain impression.
Paddy's comment on mainstreaming of BDSM fashion etc.
Gosh, that's awfully reductive isn't it? it hadn't even occurred to me that gays would be automatically BDSM any more than than I believe its all 'Cage aux Folles' - Of course some fall into stereotypes, but it's hardly universal. Do you think the 'scene' just captures the most narrow ideas of male sexuality? I saw interesting progamme by gay male on what's wrong with gays focussing on this. It seemed to say that the scene pandered for those who were sexual libertines only. I guess that non-vanilla stuff would therefore be more cutting edge. It’s a bit like Julie Burchill saying years ago that everyone had to be into anal sex and swapping and all sorts because it was now the norm. I seem to remember she’d written a novel reflecting this sexual cornucopia!
While I am OK with libertines subect to 'safe, sane and consensual' it's nice not to have assumptions made about one's sexuality and choices.
I do know of BDSMers who hate the club scene because it does seem to be about expensive fancydress only. But of course there must be those who have 'it's only fashion' as their cover story and are desperate for someone to take up the challenge!
so I thought I'd combine spanking and memes...
) that spanking and BDSM and their imagery and ideas from them are more and more in the mainstream in fashion, adverts, music and popular culture generally. So is spanking and BDSM part of a current meme/zeitgeist - either, neither or both? Or am I just obsessed and imagining it?