Hi Blighty,

Thanks for taking the trouble to raise such interesting points.

Your post raises a whole host of discussion points and parallels to my own experience. Particularly on two points, a). Information versus Misinformation, and the power of the media to inform opinion. b). The different perspectives that variant sexualities have on bdsm. But comments page isnt the place for me to elaborate lol.
One thing, There is a theory that as society is becoming more socially egalitarian, so the sub/dom butch/fem daddy/twink subgenres of homosexuality will fade out. Its certainly true that the flannel shirted lezbo thing is not exactly in vogue these days. Speaking for myself. I only have one aim. To be myself. I guess that posits me as just a typical fem. Bar the absence of a ring I doubt anyone would be able to pick up any sexual preference cues from style or behavior. In the lez scene there seems to be a lot of two kinds of gurls, a). ordinary *be yourself* type fem girls, b). fem girls in a lesbian culture kinda way, ie; the odd tat, piercing, or fem les hairstyle. The thing about this it is thats its pretty indivisable from mainstream young womens style. Try tell difference between rock chick look, with tite boot cut jeans and studded belt, and boob T shirt, and any young les. There's no difference. So there's a lot of crossover now. Thats a good thing. And maybe its adding to the increase in bisexuality among women as they begin to see possibilities that wasnt there in the days of Alice bands twinsets and pearls.. ugh stepford.. omFg!

I find that issues of info/misinfo and differing perspectives on BDSM are particularly interesting.

The theory of egalitarianism and disappearance of ‘sub/dom butch/fem daddy/twink subgenres’ is intriguing, but I can’t see it, just because power exchange can be so erotic and images from the past remain for a long time. I’m not into the ‘school scene’ of spanking and caning, but it is as powerful among youngsters as it is among those who have memories of such things. Having lived through corporal punishment era or not doesn’t seem necessary for fascination with idea.

‘The flannel shirted lezbo’ may be a dying breed but she still exists among a certain breed of older, earnest women in my experience and her younger sister simply wears ‘Cotton traders’ or similar, but still has that ‘look’. One young lesbian introduced me to the concept she described as ‘Diesel Dyke’ and I knew what she meant. That said I do know straight feminists who look like the old lesbian stereotype and lesbians of various style and femininity.

I did have interesting chat with lesbian colleague. We’d been joking about high-heeled shoes and I admitted my liking for such things. She explained how she didn’t go for the stereotype ‘sexy’ stuff and basques, suspenders etc did nothing for her. She was rather amused when I told her I thought she was probably more sexually evolved than those of us who find such things erotic! I love it that some men find such things a turn-on and I just feel sexier when dressed if I am wearing stereotype feminine and sexy stuff.

As an old-fashioned feminist in her fifties I do understand that my ideas of sexuality have been formed on ideas of ‘men’s imagined women’ and male stereotypes of sexuality, but the imprinting has occurred and gives me and my lover some pleasure so I just accept it. If my lover ‘expected’ me to conform to such stereotypes I would refuse, but as an ‘added extra’ it is just fun for us both.

I agree about young women’s look and crossover thing. And amused by Stepford stuff. I always thought the wholesome Doris Day thing was rather sexy because it was so defile-able! I can’t look innocent so I can’t do it. I have a filthy laugh, am big, dark and have a very wiggly walk! I looked ‘naughty’ when I was innocent and I’m no longer innocent!