Reading your previous posts I realise that I am not just ignorant but completely illiterate and dumb person. What is it all about? What is spanking, spanco? I dont know the basics and terminology. Can you help me to explain this more explicitely.

That's quite a question! Some people get emotional or sexual satisfaction from pain or giving others power over themselves. Spanking is striking the buttocks usually with the hand, but also with instruments such as canes, hairbrushes, belts, slippers etc. I am one of those people who get pleasure by such means and 'spanko' is a slang word for people like me.

There will be all sorts of psychological theories around this but like sexuality there will be no definite answers. For example, some (like me) see spanking between consenting aduls as sexual, but others see it as purely emotional or physical but not sexual. I said it was complicated!

I have written lots about this on my blog if you want to know more. I have also writen about it on a website (link on my profile page). I do realise that this will seem absurd, bizzarre, distasteful, boring, pointless or immoral to some people and I accept that.

I do not approve of spanking or physical chastisement of any child or of any adult who does not wish to receive such treatment.

I hope this answers the questions you and others may have.

Best wishes,
Suzee

btw are you submissive in life or just in role play?

I am absolutely not submissive in everyday life and am considered to be pretty assertive. There are people who may even find me bossy!

I also seem to have an affinity with sub men - my Cariad thinks it's because my everyday persona makes it seem possible I have Domme tendencies.

I am far too passionate about equality stuff to get my head around real life submissivness, although I have met very assertive subs. I've also read some interesting 'equal but different' stuff by subs and can see where they are coming from, but it would not suit me.

I don't actually roleplay - When we have time and inclination my Cariad and I just get into a mood and it happens. It's rather like the dance and check-out of interest for vanilla stuff. A word, intonation, gesture or look and we know that the other is thinking about spanking and like an intimate dance we choose to go ahead or not. As we're still a young relationship (three years) and our time together is limited, we tend to always go with the flow!

How it goes is a headspace and mood thing. Although we don't adopt a role, like good sex our spanking sessions can vary from light to dark and playful to serious. Sometimes I am more 'submissive' during session and sometimes challenging and sometimes we both get the giggles, but it always remains erotic, whichever mood takes us.

Hope this answers your question. Happy to explain further if you or anyone has questions...