Husbandorcat was wondering about what was happening with The Archers and I had read in Radio Times that there would be a blast from the past. I was hoping it would be the lovely Sophie and it is! (Apologies to anyone who was waiting for Omnibus edition) I seem to remember her designing workwear for the farm that wasn't exactly practical. I also remember getting impression that she had problems with...ummm...intimacy (The Archers wasn't so overt and racy then!) I also suspected that Tim Beecham/Beauchamp(?)might have been less than gentlemanly towards her...
With their Cowman making it more obvious he fancies Ruth and her dithering over her new top, it was obvious she was about to be put out (pun intended!) by an old flame...

Well the icy people are miffed! I got message
"Remote error: Didn't receive 200 OK from remote server" so I think they're (or I'm?)unpinged...
And technorati got huffy too asking me not to ping so often or something...
All I'm doing is quietly bloging while they send their spiders (or whatever) to spy on me...

Thanks for comments which got me thinking. Timsuzi is right about power of early exes. My first serious partner was my first lover and we got engaged - This made it all very serious for me. I was devestated when he ended relationship. I wanted to be civilised and we stayed friends, but it allowed him to manipulate me and I was very malleable in retrospect. I think he probably needed to prove and exert power and while engagement was never reinstated the relationship was several times. Hard to believe I allowed it to happen, but like I said - The power of exes...

I suspect it unlikely that 36 visitors between them did over 900 page visits...
To those of you that have less than eight legs...

Reading Blighty's account of relationships made me think about the power of exes. Someone I fell for was still hooked on his ex and then I met others with similar fixation.... This is a fictionalised account of my thoughts on the subject...

It took her a while to recover from her first love but once Caroline knew the depth of her potential for sex she rewrote the rules. She wouldn't feel obliged to have sex with everyone she dated or got off with but if she wanted to she would! She'd have nothing to do with other women's partners and would do her best to avoid men who hankered after their exes. This was surprisingly hard to do and she found herself inventing a category of commitment-phobia that she named the 'two out of three* syndrome'. These men were happy to get into your knickers but the little darlings were too fragile to be fully 'there' for you. They were OK for a fling but Caroline was determined never to fall for one again and could reduce herself to a maudlin wreck at will by playing the Meatloaf song and imbibing appropriate doses of gin and tonic!

*from the meatloaf song "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" - "I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you, But don't be sad - 'Cos two out of three ain't bad"

Ironically, the first of the 'two out of three' men I encountered had serious effect on me, but I kept secret due to his fragility. He became the 'test' for other relationships - I would wonder if I'd leave current partner if 'he' became available and wanted me. Luckily I wasn't tested! And I now consider it was for the best. My current partner and most recent ex were so much more suitable for me and I had/have far more connection with them than I had with him - But the power he wielded at the time was terrifying in retrospect.

I am so glad to have the relationship I have, but I am very aware of the power of an ex with whom one has truly connected or lost one's reason over.

I just wanted to check - i thought last post I wrote had message about sending a pingback to an ice-mountain?!

Well go on, then! ASK!!!!!!

Just checked out my profile and noticed a new tag - 'Still barking'! So who's known me long enough to know there's no change there, then? I was rather chuffed to be the only 'still barking' person, though!

I was driving along thinking about spanking and gay sex - as you do - and thought I'd ask for opinions on something...

I do know some gay men and women fit certain stereotypes but many don't. I assume the repertoire of sexual acts between consenting gay men and between lesbians are as diverse as between heteros etc, etc... However something a lesbian colleague said casually, came back to me and rang bells and reminded me of other stuff I vaguely remember hearing about.

I started to wonder about something... Are there gay men and lesbans who get their erotic kick from giving pleasure/orgasms and never receive direct erotic stimulation themselves? Now I've posed question I wonder if there are straight people who also prefer to give than receive? I guess for those with physical limitations and/or impotence there could also be scope for such activity.

The reason I was thinking about this is that it would make the non-direct stimulation partner someone who practiced 'head-sex'and got satisfaction from indirect erotic stimulation as it were, which reminds me of what happens in spanking and BDSM when overt sexual stuff doesn't happen. I was just curious if it was similar buzz...

Link to website of magazine I mentioned.

http://www.forteantimes.com/

...I do not suggest we give up reading whole books for the pleasure of merely reading one page! I assumed the idea was that a random page gives you an idea whether or not you may like the book. Not sure why 69 is critical page - Just the one chosen and repeated by me. Personally I think my pair of 69's do give a flavour of my writing, but if I ever get to publish I'd much prefer people to read the whole books!

Just read that reading page 69 of a book is a test for whether you'll like it and getting its flavour.
I've written two books of spanking stories (unpublished ) - here are my pair of 69's - What do you reckon?

...have fun imagining being caught, having to confess, having to bend over, having to have skirts raised and knickers lowered… And that’s before she did her trawl. In retrospect it was good that she was given this instant mental ‘freebie’ because the net was very frustrating…
Who’d have thought so many people used spanking as a metaphor for a sporting defeat? Or so many earnest people wanted to discuss real parental responsibility stuff? She’d been worried about the serious warnings of adult material when she’d entered her search then been disappointed by the irrelevance of most sites. She was also subject to some porn freebies that she found unpleasant and was invited to pay up to see torture! She did, however manage to find sites that despite their desperate attempts to lure her in and demanded her email and/or credit card details, gave her some free images that she enjoyed. She skipped through the serious bondage and S.M. stuff and feasted her eyes on more everyday images of spankings that fitted in with her fantasies and enabled her to add to the collection.
She didn’t know why the pretty blonde was placed over the wooden contraption or what it was. It looked like a well-worn piece of builders’ kit but had two kneeler-like pieces and a higher shelf/step in the middle. She was knelt on one side, with the shelf under her tummy and her arms down with her hands on the ‘kneeler’ on the other side. She was wearing a little t-shirt, socks and trainers and her white panties were pushed down to just above her knees. For some reason she was also wearing a hard hat and working gloves. You could see red marks on her bottom and there was a man wielding a strap about to leave his mark again. It looked like a scruffy office. Jean found the incongruity of the hat and gloves to her taste. In her ‘story’ Jean was a young...

Well it is fiction, but I do remember my first trawl of 'spanking' and I still have memories of that picture...

I dimly became aware that the initial rain of harsh blows was being replaced with more measured blows and through my pain I was aware of Steif’s accompanying commentary.
“Well, sweet Lady Eleanor, having you over my knee like the naughty little girl you sometimes become is a sweet (spank!), sweet (spank!) pleasure… If only (spank!) I’d thought of it sooner! (spank!) Think of all the (spank!) irritation (spank) we both could have been spared (spank, spank!). You can be such a brat (spank, spank!) you know Ellie, and I resent (spank, spank, spank!) being distracted (spank, spank!) from my sweet lady Eleanor…
(spank, spank, spank, spank, spank, spank!)…
Although (laughingly) (spank!) there are some (spank!) compensations!
(spank, spank, spank, spank, spank, spank!)
I became aware of Steif’s now still hand on my throbbing bottom. Surely it shouldn’t hurt so much when he’s no longer spanking me. I was aware of waves of pain overwhelming my poor, vulnerable cheeks.
“Well, Eleanor, I think you’ve got off lightly for the pain you caused us both with your intolerable behaviour. I think however you must receive the promised little extra something for causing your devoted servant such naughty distraction with your bare bottomed cheek…and (with such pleasurable strokes of that very bottom that excited as well as frightened me) for depriving me of the pleasure of pulling down your knickers for your first spanking, young lady! Now I want you bent over the foot of the bed with that naughty bottom of yours on display while I find something to thrash you with!”

I'd forgotten how pompous I'd made 'Steiff' (pronounced Steve - A bit like the Welsh for 'taxi' being 'tacsi'! )! I find this sexy as a fantasy, but I'd hate Steiff in real life and not let him anywhere near me! Since writing this I have met real-life Steiff-types and the women who love them - Definitely not for me! Reality and fantasy are funny and interesting things.

Some of my readers will be aware that as a feminist I had difficulty coming to terms with spanking fantasies and my desire to turn them into reality. This gave me an idea for a fictional piece about a woman who receives a spanking that leads to fantasies and the ambivalence this causes her.
It is fiction and meant to be lighthearted, but some of the thoughts and memories are based on experience. Maeve's excellent 'double-think' is entirely from my imagination based on piece I read many years ago about spanking being mere physiological stimulation.
Hope you enjoy the piece!

When Mario studiously ignored her from then on she told herself she was relieved, and refused to acknowledge her disappointment. For a long time she fought against reliving the memories, horrified that they could make her feel more excited than the limited petting she allowed her boyfriends. And then there were the variations! She fought against imagining Mario taking down her knickers to spank her. She fought against imagining Jeff, hearing her cries and coming to her rescue but staying to watch instead… or spank her himself. She imagined all the boys she knew taking down her knickers for a spanking… The very word made her feel funny. And why was she surrounded by it? Surely before it was only Dennis the Menace and Beryl the Peril? Now ‘The Saint’ was spanking a grown woman and so was Elvis Presley! Then she saw Doris Day got a spanking in an old movie and even Superman in the American comic was at it – teaching a female baddie a lesson over his blue-covered thigh…
As Maeve dated more boys and discovered her growing sexuality she became aware that her re-imaginings of the incident could only be classified as sexual fantasy. Her developing awareness of the wider issues of her equally growing feminism made her realise that her favourite fantasy was frankly dodgy.
She kept her fantasy private and when she fell for Sam she discovered sex was pretty exciting; especially in their first few heady years together. When they settled down her fantasies about spanking could liven up their more routine lovemaking but stayed hidden. In the seventies it had became permissible to discuss fantasies. Llanfawr library may not stock ‘The Joy of Sex’, but it was in the Swansea bookshop. But how could Pont Llaw’s leading feminist and liberal come out and admit to a yearning to be put over her husband’s knee, have her knickers lowered and her bottom soundly spanked? She couldn’t – Could she?
And then Maeve managed another of her ideological compromises… It was an article on erogenous zones in one of the more serious women’s magazines. The author was claiming that ‘striking the buttocks’ had nothing to do with subjugation but was simply a way of stimulating blood flow and engaging this important erogenous zone…And what was that about release of endorphins? Why, hadn’t those sexually liberated, but terribly serious Scandinavians been doing it with birch twigs for years? When Maeve asked Sam if there was anything he wanted to try to improve their lovemaking he was happy to ask for more oral sex in exchange for ‘stimulating her blood flow’. He decided he didn’t need this particular stimulation and they both agreed it probably worked better for women…

Unless 27 people or fewer (I nearly said less, then thought of the pedants!)have been very busy I have been invaded by the spiders! over 2,000 page views by 27 people is a bit unlikely. Still better than last time when ot was some ridiculous figure in the 30,000s...

Trolly's piece about corsets reminded me of this piece I wrote about a posh woman dressing as a maid for a charity auction. of course she gets spanked - eventually! but not for ages into the story.

Isobel believed one’s underwear was the true reflection of one’s class. She liked the fact that Rigby and Peller not only made the queen’s underwear but some rather fetching classical pieces that had the beauty of old fashioned glamour with a modern twist. Her much-loved waspie for special occasions was one of theirs as were several of her favourite suspender belts. For her maid’s outfit she decided to start with her ‘foundations’ and chose a black garment that had a fifties look but was made by a gifted designer she favoured who had a clever and discreet way with lycra. Such an item of clothing was never completely comfortable but that slightly restricted feel added to the glamour she realised and she always felt slightly naughty in her most dressy underwear.
The bustier was called a merry widow, which amused Isobel. She often missed Bunny but acknowledged the fun to be had as a so-called merry widow. The low cut push-up bra section above the clinched waist made the most of her trim figure and the attached suspenders made it a very sexy garment. It was well made and a perfect fit, which meant Isobel, could wear it for fairly long periods without it pinching her too much but she was always subtly aware of her slightly restrictive second skin.
Isobel loved modern stockings with the perfect fit guaranteed by cutting-edge technology but decided that dark fully- fashioned seamed stockings rather than lycra would be more in keeping with the look she was going for. She guessed that maids in any era would be unlikely to afford the best stockings let alone a designer merry widow but she knew what she liked and she could afford it. The stockings were great and a real trip down the memory lane of her youth. She remembered the rasp of the grown-up glamorous women of her youth as they elegantly crossed and uncrossed their legs at her mother’s afternoon teas and cocktail parties. As a teenager she’d been thrilled by her first tights and the freedom they offered, worn with her beloved mini-skirts; but now she favoured rather more sophisticated hosiery to match her elegant underwear.
She opted for quite traditional French knickers in black. They were a fine and very light silk and skilfully cut so they gently skimmed her curves and flared slightly at the scalloped edge but clung to the fullest part of her bottom.
She persuaded her merry widow designer to run up her maid’s outfit. As he made it to be worn with the underwear and to Isobel’s exact measurements it looked wonderful. It covered the bustier but was cut to show maximum cleavage of her well-supported breasts but no hint of strap or lacy cup on display. She knew that having bits of your bra on show was supposed to be fashionable but to her it was just vulgar. She looked as though she’d been sewn into the little black number with its fitted waist and sweetly flared skirt rustling several discreet inches above her knees. The layered and lightly stiffened white petticoats gave the dress some extra swish and complemented the rasp of her traditional stockings.
Her black leather ankle boots looked wonderful with the black stockings. The high narrow heels were flattering and the supple covering over her ankles made them more supportive than her similarly high shoes which she considered more boudoir wear, than socialising attire. Her little black boots worked well in and out the bedroom on a variety of men she’d discovered. The lacing and straps certainly drew attention and that was before some lucky men had had the pleasure of discovering how the straps and laces subtly mirrored the delightful intricacies of her underwear.
The traditional white pinafore and cap completed a look that was ever so slightly tarty but in such a way that no one would dare to voice such an opinion on Isobel’s obviously expensive fancy dress.
Luckily her merry widow was front-fastening Isobel mused as she strapped and tied herself in. There would have been something bizarre about requiring a maid to help her into her maid’s costume she thought, smiling at her reflection, as she got ready for the auction in Witherington Hall. She was finding the whole thing rather sexy. She was not averse to a spot of dressing-up and had enjoyed doing so but her recent sex-life was rather subtle compared to her previous experiences. She’d been offended by the horrid tabloid revelations of Diana and her exploits in fur – Isobel could empathise completely with the impulse but imagine the staff going public on such a thing! Things were not what they were!

... I'm joking! it's just that admitting techie problems gets people saying 'hello' so I thought I'd ask Good Samaritans who have advised on techie stuff to say hello...
I do seem to get rather well read when I write spanking stuff, but I get more chat when I have technical IT queries.

Suzee

ps if you are feeling abused and misled and really want to provide techie advice I do have a problem with perfectly sensible Word.docs being changed into winmail.dat files when sent as email attachments
Love and mischief,
Suzee
xxx

...but only a bit!

This is an extract of a short story I wrote about a woman who in her attempt to win forgiveness suggests she takes physical punishment from her fiance. He takes to task with surprising relish....

William casually kept his left hand on the small of her back over the grey stuff of her skirt and picked up the paddle. He felt her shudder and a wave of grim satisfaction with a strong undercurrent of lust surged through him. He was going to spank the arse off her all right! It was what she deserved! Fucking with that animal Gareth! But she was sorry and now she was going to appreciate just how firm but fair a real man could be! He was no monster and Celia obviously needed a firm hand. He liked that. She was going to get a firm hand all right he thought grimly and before either of them quite expected it William had delivered four successive strokes to those nylon-clad cheeks. Celia jerked upright into a standing position furiously rubbing her bottom and causing her skirt to slide over her busily occupied hands.
“How dare you! Your punishment is barely started! You do not have permission to get up Celia! Do you intend to defy me?” If Celia was amazed at this commanding fiancé of hers it was nothing compared to the surprise William felt at his own indignation and quick response.
“For that you will receive the rest on your bare bottom!”
“I’m sorry” she choked, no longer daring to rub her throbbing behind, “but I was taken by surprise and it hurt so much” she gulped.
“Its meant to hurt, Celia. That’s why it’s called ‘punishment’” he added in sarcastic and annoyed tones, covering his own astonishment that he’d actually done it. He suddenly realised that now he’d decided on this venture he was seriously annoyed that she had leapt up and diverted him from his task.
“Now, bend over!”
Terrified and not a little excited by the new William a nervous Celia placed herself back over William’s desk.
William was pleased and relieved by this act of compliance. Boy, had he enjoyed paddling that arse! He was sorry to be interrupted but it meant he could enjoy a further uncovering and he wouldn’t have to think about when to complete the full unveiling of that tempting bottom. All nervousness now gone William took control with a great deal of pleasure. Celia was going to be well punished and he was going to enjoy every sexy minute of it…
Once again he slid up her skirt and once again she shuddered. Celia felt humiliated at this second uncovering and now knew just what that paddle felt like. She also knew that William was going to get an uninterrupted view of the seat of his planned intentions… How could anyone find this sexy she asked herself amazed and terrified thinking of what was about to happen and a tiny part of her knew the answer as she had known before…
William enjoyed the silky feel of her hosiery sliding down under his purposeful, careful hands and thoroughly appreciated the slight resistance he encountered from the combined layers of her white cotton knickers and silky nylon tights. To Celia this methodical uncovering of her now quaking bottom took forever but was also over too quickly when she realised what would inevitably follow. William too felt mixed emotions as the satisfaction of the gradual baring of Celia’s bottom was too quickly over but he felt pleasure at her vulnerability as well as excitement at the thought of her still outstanding long spanking. As he fastidiously arranged her tights and knickers just under the swell of her nicely rounded bottom he negotiated with the shivering Celia.
“I hadn’t intended restraining you for the paddling but if you misbehave again I won’t hesitate to do so. I will also double the tariff for your wilfulness”
“Please, William!” Now she was threatened with even more Celia almost (but not quite!) forgot about her exposure so eager was she to avoid further blows. “I didn’t mean it! It was surprise! I’ll stay down! I promise!”
“Very well” he responded and they both wondered at the new stern William.
Once again William’s hand was on the small of Celia’s back but this time they were both aware of the added strength of the gesture that had earlier been casual. They both realised Celia could not leap up this time without William’s permission.
William very gently laid the paddle on Celia’s bare bottom. The relatively cool leather was not unpleasant on her super-sensitive now gently glowing flesh but she twitched and shuddered, as she now knew exactly what to expect. And she was unable to suppress her yelp of agonised expectation as the paddle was suddenly removed from her bottom in readiness for her fifth stroke.

I thought after the serious debate I'd post something I wrote that is intended to be both sexy and frivolous. There are people who practice what they call 'domestic discipline'(DD) that seems to be literally just that. Some of them consider it non-sexual. Robert and Carole are fictional practitioners and Carole claims that DD is a form of therapy and gets spanked in a kathartic way to Robert's erotic pleasure. This extract is from a story about Robert's fiftieth and is about delivering an unashamedly erotic spanking. it also explains why when asked if spanking leads to sex i say yes, but sex also leads to spanking. Like 'Robert', I see eroticism and sexuality as circular rather than linear...

...Robert nibbled her ear, whispered she was a saucy wench and discovered the outline of her new basque under her pretty but modest dress. As he pressed her to his twitching, burgeoning eagerness he slid up the back of her dress and murmured “Naughty, naughty, naughty Carole,” as he discovered the silky tie-sided briefs she had bought especially for his birthday. “Boy, do you deserve a spanking”, he groaned, as he clutched her twitching bottom. Of course Carole tried to protest but Robert’s erection was almost bruising her, so tightly was she clutched to him, and that mesmerising massage of her bottom and his ear-nibbling and lust-filled murmurings… and it was his birthday…
“No Robert, I don’t think…”
And suddenly Carole was being pulled upstairs. Of course when they reached the bedroom she didn’t move a muscle as requested by her eager husband, other than to help him quickly remove her dress. She was proud of her figure and knew how well she looked in her scarlet and black basque with the matching skimpy knickers but she was embarrassed at the naked lust in his eyes as Robert drunk in every inch of his wife’s secret birthday present – herself gift-wrapped!
She was astonished at how quickly the usually careful Robert stripped off completely and was once again proud and embarrassed – this time by the lewd display of his swaying erection and his obvious delight in her naughty underwear. Her lingerie had certainly got sexier recently but she’d never worn red and black before, nor chosen a corselet that supported her breasts but barely covered her nipples in see-through lace…
“You are so naughty…” and now his naked manhood was pressed directly against her flimsy red knickers as he massaged her bottom. She wouldn’t think about the look he gave her as he’d carefully placed his belt on the bed, despite the carelessness towards his other clothes…
“…so naughty…” as her nipples were drawn out over their lacy confines and revealed to his probing gaze, fingers and tongue…
“…so very, very, very, naughty” as he squeezed her bottom and sucked her nipples…
Carole told herself that as a sensual woman and loving wife she would of course please her husband on his birthday but do nothing kinky… It was only natural that she would trust her husband and of course she wouldn’t question his understandable desire for her. It was only the heat of the moment that made her unaware that after nibbling her breasts and massaging her bottom she was somehow on the bed in basque, knickers, black stockings and her highest stilettos and somehow over his lap… As Robert leaned against the headboard with his wife’s bottom on his thighs Carole felt a pang of anxiety but his hand on her bottom and his murmurings rendered her helpless. She really didn’t intend parting her thighs but they were a sensual couple and Robert’s hand was irresistible, especially as his other hand was playing havoc with her sensitive nipple.
She became dimly aware of Robert’s full concentration on her bottom and aching inner thighs when the first lazy slap landed on her silky covered bottom. She was about to protest, but despite the shock of the unexpectedness, it could have been an over-enthusiastic caress she told herself as the stroking of her inner thighs made her eager for more intimate contact… The second ‘caress’ felt rather like a spank but she was confused by the further attention to her bottom and thighs that encouraged her to move towards that sneaky stroking hand… The resounding slap to her full bottom left her in no doubt she was being spanked, but the following caress over and inside her silky briefs confused her and halted her protests beyond her automatic yelp of surprise...

You have explained everything to me quite patiently and to my satisaction. I will definitely look towards this more comfortably now. It has triggered many thoughts and this whole interaction is going to help me in many ways I guess. I am very thankful to you and feeling luckey to find person like you in this blogsphere.
Though you have cleared my basic and primary blocks, the discussion I think will go on as every time some new questions keep coming in my mind.
What happens when some one gets partner whose 'spanking' nature has not been triggered? Will it impact the sex life and relation altogether? Or whether it is possible for person who is not having spanking nature to derive pleasure of relaionship without spanking act?
For instance I have een many happy couples in India who are unable to give birth to child together but they can enjoy their sex life as well as relation. Is it possible in this case or is it like not having sexual life altogeher without spanking?

Varshkale,
I’m not sure if you are familiar with the English expression of ‘a can of worms’ but your questions open one! They are the fundamental issues that trouble those who have natures like mine. If you visit sites dedicated to the topic people are asking just those questions. It is possible to have a spanking nature and live without spanking, but whether one does or not depends on other characteristics and circumstances for the individuals concerned.

In my experience of discussions with others, men tend to be better at expressing their nature and needs and are more likely to have had the need met by partners and ex-partners, but by no means not always. Someone who loves you, but does not share this desire may ‘indulge’ you for a while but then become bored or resentful. They may also find it an erotic novelty that they may or may not sustain.

There are women who have also been very open and got what they want. There do however; seem to be a lot like me who have only acknowledged their ‘true’ nature as they see it in mid-life. It is possible to have a nature like mine and enjoy and only practice ‘normal’ sex. I did so until very recently. Once I acknowledged and began to openly explore this I began to feel differently about it. I would be reluctant to give up spanking as it brings such pleasure. It doesn’t stop me enjoying other forms of sexual expression. Someone described it to me as dual sexuality and it is how it is for me. I get sexual pleasure from sex and from spanking.

Also there are people who have a sexual and emotional relationship or marriage but seek spanking or BDSM pleasure elsewhere. Sometimes this is with their partner’s permission and sometimes done secretly. There are various opinions as to whether spanking is sexual and whether such behaviour is infidelity. The issues are not dissimilar to those around a loving but non-sexual marriage, except that spankos disagree as to whether spanking is sexual or not. As I said – lots of cans and lots of worms!

To add to it, once you said that spanking is like sex to you. Does that mean it substitutes sexual intercourse? I mean if you have spanking act you do not want to have sexual acts other then spanking

Another fascinating question from Varshakale!

When I fantasised about spanking I saw it as a form of foreplay that would make me very excited and lead to other sex acts. What surprised me was that I did find it satisfying in itself. When I am spanked I do not need to have sex, but always enjoy doing so as it is arousing. I have likened it to kissing and cuddling. Usually kissing and cuddling is a prelude to sex and is very exciting and as you kiss and cuddle you want sex and would be disappointed if it did not happen. There are times however when circumstance or time or mood mean that sex will not take place, or may be delayed. For me and some others this sexy kissing and cuddling and sexual arousal without further excitement can be very pleasurable. And this is true for me with spanking. I love spanking that leads to sex. And I love kissing and cuddling that lead to sex. And I find both spanking and kissing and cuddling to be marvellous and pleasurable activities in their own right.

If they could only have one or the other some spankos would choose spanking over sex. I honestly don’t know what I would choose if I had to make such a choice. But I would also find choosing between sex and chocolate very difficult! Luckily I am able to derive pleasure from sex, spanking and chocolate and do not have to make such choices!

I am also aware of some people who have lost interest in sex and have spanking as a substitute. Some of these people would argue that while it is a pleasure of the senses, spanking is not sexual because it does not lead to sex nor arouse them sexually. As I have said before, regardless of whether I have sex, I find spanking erotic so to me it is sexual.

Thanks once again for such interesting questions. Just a quick reminder to my readers that the contents of this blog merely reflect my perspective. If you require wider views then do visit some spanking and BDSM sites (links to a couple in my website: http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/ )

ramachandramenon said:

This is totally bizzarre.
Infliction of pain gives pleasure to the giver and the receiver. Sex is something more sacred. It is the union of two bodies, their minds and their souls. Whether for procreation or otherwise, sex will have to be more harmonius in approach and performance. Not inflicting pain or bleeding.
I am not an expert. This is what occurs to my mind.

I have acknowledged elsewhere that to those that such practices do not appeal may find such things bizarre. However, sex is not necessarily more sacred – It can be – It depends on attitudes, beliefs and mind-set of participants. I believe that sex can be many things depending on what participants bring to it. And issues of culture, religion and ethics will colour the meaning of sex. Personally I believe sex can be many things and if it is not exploitative and abusive (ie non-consensual) I am very happy for it to be gloriously varied in meaning and practice. “The union of two bodies, their minds and their souls” sounds lovely and I have experienced it, and experience it with my partner, but this union is certainly not the defining tenets of my experience of sexuality.

As said elsewhere pleasure in erotic pain is recorded by various people and cultures so is certainly part of the continuum of sexual pleasures available to people. Personally I have never been made to bleed, but I find harmony in pain and it’s aftermath. I do not have a problem with more severe practices among others if that is their thing.

Few of us (Me included!) are experts and it is interesting to share opinions.

Storage Guy said:

I think that as long as its two adults that are consenting, then there should not be a problem. I must admit that I think that its quite nice, mind you, strange at first, and its not something thaT I do all the time. Also, it may not help you as I am gay. But, as I said, as long as they both dont mind, the go ahead!

I think that ‘live and let live’ is my perspective as well. Thank you for