To take our discussion forward in a bid to explore this phenomena I want to some more details. Since I came across this I have also tried to gather more information about it from different sources. But I could not get clarity about certain things.
Is there any difference between spanking behaviour of men and women? Now this is bit difficult for me spell out what exactly I wanted to know. To take an example if there is beating involved which part of body (their own and of partner) men prefer and which part of body (their own and of partner)women. Another thing I wanted to know is whether spankee is 'nature' then both engaged in the act need to have spankee nature. Am I correct?
Regarding your discussion with Safriz I am not sure whether such phenomena was or wasn't part of eastern erotica. Indian erotica was quite rich and must be having some elements of this this type. I will try and find it out. But if it is 'sexual orientation' or 'nature', then it need to universal phenomena.
Just the last thing by all these questions if you ever feel irritated or hurt, please let me know immediately. My intention is to understand this thing and develop my opinion on it as I think anyone concern for women's position in society and polity cannot discard or ignore it.
With love.
Varsha

Once again challenging and interesting questions from Varsha!

First of all I need to reiterate that while I try to reflect the existence of a broad spectrum of perspectives on spanking, I am one person with a specific viewpoint and set of experiences.

There is lots of information and perspectives on Spanking and BDSM available on the net. I have a strictly amateur and personal website which unlike this blog is more static and features my writing and views. On the links pageof my site I have included a couple of sites I found informative. The link to my site is: http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/

Spankee is not a proper word but one I use for men and/or women who like to receive beatings on their buttocks. Similarly a spanker is one who derives pleasure from administering such beatings. A switch is someone who likes to both give and receive such beatings. I use term ‘spanko’ for anyone who practices such behaviour or has a fascination about the topic.

There are people who enjoy inflicting or receiving physical pain to other parts of their body. I would see this as what is known in the UK as ‘BDSM’ . Sometimes those practicing BDSM also enjoy humiliation and most I believe enjoy the psychological aspect of the power game. Humiliation and pleasure at power game can be part of spanking.

The ‘nature/nurture’ debate is as argued and inconclusive for spankos as for gay people. It is my personal belief that like many aspects of sexuality and mental health some of us have a predisposition that may or may not get triggered into it becoming part of us. I was fascinated by idea since childhood, in a way that many gay people ‘knew’ they were gay from an early age. I also believe that out of boredom, adventure, curiosity, circumstances it is likely that some people can enjoy spanking, BDSM and/or gay sex for its own sake without it being fundamental to their nature. Perhaps such behaviour gives rise to assumptions that sexuality which is outside the mainstream is a decadent choice, rather than part of who and what some of us are?

Re your comments on dialogue with Salfriz, as said your comments triggered thoughts about the Karma Sutra which as I said briefly, definitely features infliction and receiving of pain as part of eroticism. I do believe it is a universal phenomenon that affects a significant minority of us in a very powerful way and tickles the erotic tastebuds of many more as part of a wider menu of sexual diversions. What I suspect is more culturally based is context for any fantasies. Mine are based on images from the fifties and sixties of adult women being spanked. I shall write about this separately in the near future. Many in the UK and USA have fantasies and images based on the corporal punishment of children as administered in schools or domestic settings. They do not have an interest in abusing children, but in re-enacting such scenarios in role play or fantasy. Many get additional pleasure in dressing the part.

I hope I have answed your questions and am happy to continue this exchange. I particularly appreciate this opportunity for dialogue because I am utterly against the abuse of women, children and men and realise that issues around spanking and BDSM can cause confusion. As said in earlier autobiographical comments, being anti-violence and having such fantasies can be confusing, which is why I welcome the opportunity for dialogue.

Love and peace
Suzee
xx

As said, I did take a while to come to terms with my 'nature' as a spankee. Having written an honest autobiographical piece about this I decided to explore further.

And my unholy grail at that point? In ordinary erotica I occasionally found stories and scenarios over which I had pleasure mulling. An unforeseen incident in a ‘straight’ novel always made my day, as did hearing the word ‘spanking’ unexpectedly. I had rewritten bits of ‘Gone With the Wind’, various romantic films, novels and fifties style movies where a spanking would pep up the plot for me.

I dared to buy some erotica from ‘Anne Summers’ but as I didn’t fancy general humiliation, dressing as a ‘pony-girl’, ‘butt-plugs’ or a submissive lifestyle most stories missed the mark. If any of this appeals to you – Be my guest! Each to her (or his)own.

I then braved the net. I was terrified of accidentally finding something nasty or upsetting. I was also nervous of someone, somewhere tracing me. (The thought police? Spies from the sisterhood? People who knew me? Let’s not even begin to think about the neighbours! Family? What do you think?!) It was a confusing journey but I found some images and stories that I could add to my mental library and I didn’t faint away. The heavier duty stuff appeared to be available to those who were willing to part with money and credit card details but that was fine for me. Seeing a knicker-clad bottom bent over with a male hand hovering was fun enough. There was only so much a girl can take when she knows vanilla is a good everyday treat.

And as for ‘The Feminist Guide to Spanking for Softies’? I decided I would have to write it myself!
Having opened the door on these delicious thoughts and started writing spanking stories in earnest, I found myself spending a lot of time on the net. I am self-ware and open enough to admit browsing for pleasure, but I also did so for ideas and images for my writing. I read spanking stories on various sites and got an idea of what might work or be popular. There was a wide spectrum that included various levels of both fierceness and submission.

It was the ‘domestic’ images and stories that best related to my fantasies and interest. I understand that ‘age play’ stories involved consenting adults, but schoolgirl type images and stories simply do not appeal to me. Fantasies with wives, lovers, potential lovers and workplace scenarios were my chosen fodder.

Unsurprisingly I wondered how my writing would go down with others who shared my ‘kink’. I was planning to write for women like me, but wondered how men would find my stories. I had written many short stories of a conventional nature and enjoyed feedback from friends, but as I was firmly in the closet as a spankee I couldn’t get opinions on my spanking stories. I ran a few past my then-partner who thought them acceptable, but he was not really my target audience.

When trawling an American story site I found a Welsh flag alongside a story that I found acceptable to my tastes, and dared to write to the author and tell him so. He was lovely and wrote back, advising me on a friendly British site. I took a deep breath, girded my loins (or ‘pulled my pants up tight’ as my Cariad would say!) and joined a spanking site!

The world did not come crashing down, and I found myself party to discussion, stories, and a community with options to advertise and chat as I chose with others of similar interests. I put a cyber toe into the chat room but was so confused and overwhelmed (unlike my Cariad) I leapt out again straight away. I found exchanging ideas via noticeboards suited me better.

I realise such sites are not for everyone with such interests, but I honestly found them very important in helping me explore issues