Don't say you were not warned!

I think I may pretend to be out tonight rather than face endless trick-or-treaters. I had loads last year.

Latest google ads seem to be road-related following my anorak moment. The most intriguing is M1 Massage - No idea what it is, but I refuse to be tempted by even a peek!

Now in the world of macho naturally dominant Doms (and that's just the women - Joke!) spankers, tops, doms etc often claim to be expert about using their equipment. And while I approve of safe, sane and consensual I think people can get a bit serious about all this - As I've said before - almost as though you need to attend a masterclass before you can smack someone on the arse! Of course you have to be sensible and there are horror stories out there. That said, being careful, talking to each other and slowly building up your repertoire anyone can become 'expert' with hand, paddles, canes, crops, floggers etc. I do see that something like a whip and some other bits may be a bit different.

Not being partygoers and only having 'played' in private my Cariad and I have not attended such demos and classes that happen at fetish fayres and play parties. We simply experimented together. As said previously, we were very wary about canes and he read up on them before we dared try actually using them. And despite the warnings we did start with a garden bamboo although the spanking and BDSM sites counsel against this.

We also had a 'safe word' I could use if I needed to call a halt or if it was too much. I never actually used my safe word. He can usually tell if it's not the 'right' sort of pain or if I am near my limit. And a simple comment from me in my 'normal' voice alerts him of such unerotic discomfort as opposed to the sexual charge of the finely tuned level of pain that makes it work for both of us.

And the other day for some reason a stroke of the cane just went wrong. On the rare occasions this has happened before, It’s been a little high or low or caught me on the side slightly. This time, there was no obvious reason for it being a mis-stroke. All I knew was that it hurt like hell and got an automatic and violent reaction from me as I leapt up indignantly. As my Cariad put it later:
‘And am I to take it that your new safe word is "what the fucking hell do you think you are doing?" And if so, can we renegotiate that, please?’

What was disconcerting for him was that he doesn’t know why that particular stroke ‘got’ me the way it did – it just happened. I guess for me it was the equivalent of accidentally being too rough during ‘ordinary’ sex – Puts you off your stroke for a few seconds, but doesn’t stop you continuing if you trust your partner and the pain is not too off-putting. And real Doms/Tops/Spankers like real subs/bottoms/spankees are only human.

I'm now getting ads for Hallowe'en - Spelt Halloween of course! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::

Lovely to see the return of the troll. And she put link to A14 from Wiki, so I went into Anorak mode and looked up the A470 and got rather excited about finding it there...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A470

And yes - I am enough of an anorak to know that anorak is Eskimo word - it used to be unallowable in Scrabble 'cos it was down as a foreign word - I suspect it is now acceptable, but I'm sure another anorak will put me right on that!

Just noticed that The Observer writes 'Halloween' rather than 'Hallowe'en' I guess it's official then - Spelling has been modernised...

Wow! is it really a year since I had a rant about Hallowe'en?

A scary story: we spend £120m on Halloween

Critics attack the growing Americanisation of a ghoulish fun night while retailers prepare to make millions

Amelia Hill, culture and society correspondent
Sunday October 22, 2006
The Observer

Not so long ago Halloween was a simple night of homemade horror which included making witches' hats from egg boxes and scaring siblings by telling ghost stories.

It is now a multimillion-pound industry: Britons' spending on Halloween paraphernalia has risen from £12 million five years ago to an expected £120m this year.

'It's no longer a matter of a few plastic fangs,' said Francesca Colling, from Woolworths. 'People want expensive gimmicks. They want a wide range of themed food and drink. They want extravagant decorations for their houses. They even want fancy-dress outfits for their pets.'

Analysts say Britain is catching up with the US, where an average family spends £65 on Halloween decorations, sweets and costumes in a nationwide industry worth £4.7 billion.

In Britain, Halloween is the third most profitable event for retailers after Christmas and Easter; way ahead of Guy Fawkes Day and Valentine's Day. 'The seven days before 31 October, 2006, are expected to be the second busiest shopping week of the year,' said Michelle Harrison, director of market analysts the Henley Centre.

Retailers say demand for ghoulish goods is so keen that they are struggling to satisfy customers. Woolworths launched a Halloween range in 2000 with 50 products. A year later the range included 100 goods. This year there are 237 items.

Tesco anticipates this year will see a 33 per cent increase in sales compared to 2005: from £14m last year to £20m. 'The increase in demand has been so extreme that we put together a team who spent the last six months researching Halloween trends and looking at products to buy, involving making trips to America,' said spokesperson Caroline Woffenden.

Sainsbury admits it failed last year to anticipate how big the Halloween market had become. 'This year, for the first time, we have dedicated a third of our Halloween range to the adult market to meet the demand we were unable to satisfy last year,' said spokesperson Parveen Johal.

It all sounds like good fun, but Jean Paldan, from the independent anti-consumer group, Corporate Watch, has watched what she calls the 'Americanisation' of Britain's Halloween celebrations with growing disquiet.

Paldan moved to Oxford from Michigan five years ago. 'In America, you can't buy a loaf of bread around Halloween without being bombarded with themed advertising,' she said. 'The night itself is extraordinary: we used to get 200 children knocking at our door, trick or treating in a single evening. They would literally form a queue outside our house carrying pillowcases for their loot.

'I remember my first Halloween in Britain,' she added. 'It was so fun precisely because it wasn't so commercialised. People celebrated in creative ways. But in the past five years the night has become far more Americanised and, as a result, far more about consumption.'

Paldan is not alone: one woman confessed her feelings on the parenting website, mumsnet. 'I loathe Halloween,' she wrote. 'Every year that night comes round and I know what will happen. Early on you get a few cute younger children all excited and dressed up . Then you start to get big groups of teenagers in no costume other than horrific masks shouting and banging on the door demanding "cash or food". Ignore them and you get your home attacked, open the door and you get nothing but cheek.'

This year police are hoping such mothers will not have cause to repeat their complaints. In 2005 the number of anti-social behaviour orders issued at Halloween doubled to 786, but this year police forces are setting up special squads to target likely offenders

When I joked about being a born-again Pagan Blighty asked which Goddess I'd like to be and I rather fancied idea of Lilith
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith
It's first time I read the wiki stuff about her, but I'd picked up bits along the way. I liked the Adam's wife bit, but thought she wanted equality, not superiority. As she's a myth I can choose what I see as truer feminist version and claim her as an icon for equality. Of course in a spanking version, Adam would have found a far more interesting way of dealing with her!

Anyone not familiar with me may be surprised that I choose such a powerful rolemodel, but like many with submissive fantasies who enjoy power exchange and some pain, I believe in equality in my everyday life.

I read a fascinating book about the Black Virgins(Ean Begg's 'The Cult of the Black Virgin')a while back and there are theories that like other images of Mary, they are part of a tradition that dates back to Goddess culture and worship. It seems that some of the myths around the Black Virgins are similar to the lilith ones around destruction of children, but also a more positive aspect in easing their deaths. And of course with the Catholic Church's complex response to female sexuality a Virgin/Madonna who shares aspects with a sexualised temptress is utterly fascinating to me!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Madonna

I'm also rather fond of sheela-na-gig 'cos she's stroppy, saucy and a bit of a rebel.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheela_Na_Gig

As said previously in various places, despite having had spanking thoughts since childhood I didn't explore until way into adulthood. And it is only really in my late forties (and now early fifties!) that I've really come to terms and am now happily exploring this side of my life. So I am definitely a late starter as a spanko.

Blighty's comments on my thoughts around porn made me stop and think about Catholic history. while I feel unconstrained by this past, it obviously needs acknowledgement and thought. When I became sexually active in the more everyday sense I was also a late starter and most definitely influenced and constrained by the religion I was then practising. I 'lost' my virginity to the boy I intended marrying at the age of eighteen - Seems very quaint now and that is only part of it. I wrote an autobiographical piece and tried to explain the complexity for me at the time:

I joined the ranks of the knowing, sexually experienced technical virgins. It was exciting but it was still about him. I still had to fight off his attempts to go all the way. He was no longer frustrated but wanted the ‘ultimate’ because he loved me… I genuinely wanted to hang on to my virginity because it was more romantic and full sex was definitely a sin. I was knowing enough to know the sexual activities I already practiced were beyond the pale but like many others my actual lack of intercourse was very important to me. I knew the Catholic Church, mothers and the problem pages of most magazines would smugly declare that ‘if he loved/respected you he’d wait’ but it all rung hollow. Because ‘the adults’ didn’t talk about the things I actually did for my fiancé I was able to live with the unspoken knowledge of its wickedness and damp down the anxiety of not being as ‘good’ as I would have liked to be.

And of course his desire to go all the way continued… I find this extremely difficult to acknowledge and admit today because it seems so absurd. I usually say the following as though it is a joke. It wasn’t. I prayed. I didn’t want to go to hell. I loved him. I would like to believe he loved me and would do so if we were not having sexual activity but this was my reality. This was the man I was going to marry and despite my best efforts he was still in agony because of my refusal of the ultimate. I also knew that if I considered it a sin and did it anyway there was no salvation because forgiveness was only possible through perfect contrition.

My solution was not really a satisfactory one but as I had to balance impossible choices I came up with a fudged solution to make sex outside marriage not a sin. I convinced myself that as we intended marrying it was OK and only circumstances stopped us being married already. It was a fudge and I knew it but I could live with it.

It's a lot easier being a Born Again Pagan!

Dialogue with Blighty reminded me of Chicago and The Dinner Party...

http://www.judychicago.com/

As said I wanted to pen (process?!) some thoughts on writing erotica. Porn and erotica are meant to arouse.I like the idea of my erotic writing being arousing, but if I am being honest I have to admit to a certain lack of logic. Not sure if it's a female thing, generational, specific or general - but although I like the idea that my stuff might turn somebody on, I feel a little strange about them being used directly as masturbatory fodder - Especially by men. I know it is illogical.

I have been told by men and women that they enjoy my writing sexually. And I enjoy others' writing and pictures sexually too. For me however, there is a separation. I love reading and viewing spanking stuff and the feeling of arousal in a delayed gratification way. It's nice to look, read and think and then replay... So for me there is a separation - erotica/porn as appetiser or foreplay rather than main course or orgasmic activity.

So if my writing excites you great, but I'd rather not think about where that may lead. Like I said - illogical - and I don't know whether others who produce erotica or porn feel the same.

Before I met my partner I hung around spanking site and viewed pics as outlet for sexuality and in early days the eroticism was mind-blowing. perhaps as a spanko it was like a second adolescence - like discovering sex for the first time and there is suddenly all this material to which I had access. I like the idea that my stuff can bring others similar pleasure.

I am also aware that the idea of a woman writing this stuff intensifies the eroticism for men reading it and this has been spelt out to me on ocassion in no uncertain terms. I would be stupid not to realise that a fictional version of me is always the 'star' in the eye and/or imagination of the reader. And of course the first person fiction particularly about 'Suzee' intensifies this. And playful discussion about buying a whip or similar and serious stuff about spanking cannot be honestly dismissed as neutral. not when I still know how exciting it is to know others 'do it' or fantasise about it too.

So as long as I know these things and write these things I am part of the erotica/porn continuum. I'd like to think ther's a line between erotica and porn or good and bad porn (depending on one's definitions) and I'd like to be at my chosen end (as it were). But these things (as others have said) are subjective and so for me I suppose 'real porn' is still the stuff I don't like.

I've been thinking about this for a while. It's quite personal and challenging and rather undecided, but - Hey! - That's the beauty of blogging!

Blighty pointed out (quite rightly) that my blog could be seen as porn. My Cariad has pointed out that the eroticisation of violence that fascinates him and me is pornographic because it is the eroticisation of violence. The fact that what we do is consensual is besides the point. The images, I and he enjoy (no matter how mild) are based on that premise.

The type of spanking pictures that are around are described in this piece about one of my fictional characters, Jean:

Jean loved it when she saw a suitable image for her collection. She often imagined being spanked by that actor in “Swann in Love” after seeing him prepare his mistress/future wife for sex in a skirts-raised position over furniture/mantle (?) In her version he was spanking her to expiate her erotic past so he could marry her – OK it was politically incorrect and sexist but it worked for her! When she was first married she and her husband sometimes looked at men’s magazines for a laugh and to prove she wasn’t a prude. One image was still up there in her private gallery. It was an office setting and the ‘secretary’ was bent over the desk, perfectly positioned for the intended spanking. She was wearing red briefs (those nylon ‘scanties’ probably - they were popular in the seventies) and matching suspenders (corny or what?) with dark stockings. Her short skirt was hiked up and her briefs were around her thighs. A man was just in shot wearing formal clothing but with his sleeves rolled up and his hand was hovering in position to spank her. Yes, she definitely needed more images!
And then Jean thought of the obvious! The net! There was something a bit tawdry about searching the net for such images but of course she could have fun imagining being caught, having to confess, having to bend over, having to have skirts raised and knickers lowered… And that’s before she did her trawl. In retrospect it was good that she was given this instant mental ‘freebie’ because the net was very frustrating…
Who’d have thought so many people used spanking as a metaphor for a sporting defeat? Or so many earnest people wanted to discuss real parental responsibility stuff? She’d been worried about the serious warnings of adult material when she’d entered her search then been disappointed by the irrelevance of most sites. She was also subject to some porn freebies that she found unpleasant and was invited to pay up to see torture! She did, however manage to find sites that despite their desperate attempts to lure her in and demanded her email and/or credit card details, gave her some free images that she enjoyed. She skipped through the serious bondage and S.M. stuff and feasted her eyes on more everyday images of spankings that fitted in with her fantasies and enabled her to add to the collection.
She didn’t know why the pretty blonde was placed over the wooden contraption or what it was. It looked like a well-worn piece of builders’ kit but had two kneeler-like pieces and a higher shelf/step in the middle. She was knelt on one side, with the shelf under her tummy and her arms down with her hands on the ‘kneeler’ on the other side. She was wearing a little t-shirt, socks and trainers and her white panties were pushed down to just above her knees. For some reason she was also wearing a hard hat and working gloves. You could see red marks on her bottom and there was a man wielding a strap about to leave his mark again. It looked like a scruffy office. Jean found the incongruity of the hat and gloves to her taste. In her ‘story’ Jean was a young building worker – a student making money over the summer – who had reluctantly agreed to corporal punishment if her work was not up to scratch. The bare-bottomed strapping was a reminder to always wear her hard hat! Or of course it could be that she was caught trespassing and given the choice of taking a thrashing or being taken to the police - trespass on a building site was so dangerous (hence the hat!) that she needed ‘teaching a lesson’ by the ‘safety officer’…
She liked the office scenarios she found of women bent over desks, chairs, stools and laps awaiting a spanking or, by their reddened bottoms receiving the spanking they deserve. The domestic settings were OK – better than dungeons! – but seemed too cosy for Jean. She did not want to connect spankings with home life – too weird!

Unlike Jean I love the domestic spanking scenario best. But the ancient memory of the men's mag with the seventies spanking and the building site image are genuine memories, seared on my brain. While I use a jokey spanking picture on my blog and have enjoyed the thrill of such images over the years, I do not like the idea of them in the mainstream because I think they are undermining. For me context is very important as said several times re sexualised images of women.

The way I see things I suppose is that there is a continuum from the erotic to the obscene or pornographic, but the challenge is where the line is drawn. For some, all spanking stuff would be over the line. Personally, outside of non-consensuality and children I do not know where the line is. I do have a feeling that 'porn' - whatever it is - degrades but that is rather vague and I know it. During the height of some of the porn debates in the eighties I remember thinking that some of the women's fantasies in the Nancy Friday books were probably far more degrading than many of the images out there...

I am still more concerned about 'Page 3', cheesecake images, pop videoes and ads (as stated earlier)than I am about porn in general. I think they are very undermining and as they are beautiful young women served up for consumption rather than 'real sex', they seem even more disturbing and undermining of women than the most graphic sex clearly labelled as such. And I do not like images of males similarly presented as objects.

But - and there keep being more buts - But when I am surfing and get graphic 'pop-ups' (and pun is NOT intended!) I feel something is not right and I find it and the images deeply unpleasant. For me the porn claiming to be real violation or violence is horrible and that seems a straightforward thing to object to. Theoretically I do not have such a problem with consensual acts between adults, but the explicit erections, beaver shots and such just seem very depressing and do disturb me. Perhaps there is an elitism or simply 'a matter of taste' at work here - My erotica is OK but your porn is filth - I honestly don't know. And if we get into 'protecting the vulnerable adults from themselves' then we are into banning alcohol, art, literature and goodness knows what.

I realise this is less than coherent and logical, but it's an attempt at an honest perspective on something about which I personally feel confused. Trolly's fictional piece on the Pornographer's wife captured a lot I thought.

I want to blog about writing erotica and shall do that again.

further to my comment on trolly's blog - link to quote I mentioned.

http://suzeemoon.blog.co.uk/2006/09/21/bad_faith_by_joanna_russ~1148947

When looking for stuff on tuppy found this - I'm still unsure of the porn thing, but interesting perspective here I thought....

What is Pornography?
My Career and How I've been Censored
By Tuppy Owens
Libertarian Alliance Pamphlet No. 17

ISSN 0953-7783 * ISBN 1 85637 088 7

A Joint Libertarian Alliance & British Association of Libertarian Feminists Publication

© 1992: Libertarian Alliance; British Association of Libertarian Feminists; Tuppy Owens.

The views expressed in this publication are those of the author, and not necessarily those of the Libertarian Alliance, its Committee, Advisory Council or subscribers.
British Association Of Libertarian Feminists
Chairwoman: Judy Tame

1 Russell Chambers, The Piazza, Covent Garden, London WC2E 8AA
Director: Chris R. Tame Editorial Director: Brian Micklethwait

For Life, Liberty and Property

At a public meeting organised by Feminists Against Censorship in the Conway Hall, on Wednesday 12th February 1992, Tuppy Owens BSc DipHS gave a talk, of which this is the text:

One of the reasons I've been asked to speak tonight is because they knew I'd bring along a bundle of porn for you to see. I did a similar talk a few months ago (which was far more cosy and no TV cameras etc.) and thought that there's not much point in talking about porn to people who may never have seen any. You can come and look at my books afterwards and I'll pass a few around the audience, so you can all get a close look. I'll be showing slides at the end. This talk is also available in writing if you would like to take it away. I'm also handing out copies of WRITING SADO-MASOCHISTIC PORNOGRAPHY: A WOMAN'S DEFENCE by Deborah Ryder (a Libertarian Alliance Pamphlet).

There's been heavy censorship and a yuppy disinterest in porn over the past 10-15 years. So many twenty year olds have NEVER seen any porn. But 20 years ago everyone had. As soon as Denmark decided to make porno legal (with the resultant drop in sex crimes, I should add) Britain was inundated with bacon lorries, parking down back alleys and off-loading frozen porn, or 'Scans' as they were called, to the porn merchants. The police were totally corrupt in those days, and were in on the trading, and everyone thought it was jolly good fun. It was rather like the dope situation today because the police didn't think there was anything wrong with porn and were on our side.

Miss goody two shoes here, though, was producing legal stuff and I actually decided to import some old Danish titles which I could sell legally here. Unfortunately, they sent later editions which were stronger and I got hauled up to HM Customs & Excise to discuss my import consignment. This really straight Customs official and I were sitting in an office discussing how erect cocks were in certain photos -- if they were erect, they'd be illegal, if not I'd be OK. You can just imagine the scene!

I started off in the industry because I knew a printer who printed sex magazines and I thought they were tame and tacky. 'Five-Bob Arts' were being mass produced for sale in newsagents. They also pirated American kinky mags such as CORPORAL and BIZARRE and reprinted novels which came out over and over again with new titles.

I produced my own range of books such as THE SUMMER HOLIDAY SEX MANUAL and put Obscenity Wrappers round them, which was kind of exploiting the censorship situation. In America, they did even better and brought out an ILLUSTRATED PRESIDENTIAL REPORT OF THE COMMISSION ON OBSCENITY AND PORNOGRAPHY -- full of pornographic picks and selling like hot cakes.

The early 70s produced the best porn ever -- there were lots of enthusiasts like me and SUCK published the Family Issue with the great photo of Germaine Greer in it, this came out of Holland but with international contributors such as Bill Levy, Germaine Greer and Heathcote Williams. I recently showed a bunch of young art college students my porn collection and SUCK was the favorite: it's hot and raunchy yet intelligent, produced by men and women for fun and exploration. The Germans produced beautiful books such as LOVE LOVE, SOFT LOVE etc. In the UK, OZ published it's school kids issue with an ad from SUCK containing an article on blowjobs and thus the famous trial.

In America, there was LOVE, and FINGER and Annie Sprinkle started her Salon producing her NEWSLETTER DEVOTED TO PISS ART etc.

As well as the good stuff, there were some hysterically crappy things being produced. MASTURBATION IN MARRIAGE is my favorite. But the big boys did produce some quality things too: SEXUAL FREEDOM, and ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF MALE SEX DEVICES. PRIVATE, the Swedish hard-core, reached an excellent quality. It always has two covers: the outer polite and the inner hard-core. Photo essays begin with the girl in her home surroundings -- walking through her town or along a local lane. Then she strips and shows her parts and is joined by a man or two, who enter her and finish by coming over her face. The pictures are very-sharp, well lit and realistic, the sex very hard. Milton has always written an essay on morals in his magazine which is still going, now produced in Spain, and controlled by his son.

As the police corruption was cleaned up here, and the indecent displays act came into play and sex shops suddenly had to be licensed (licenses costing almost £20,000 per year!) we have been seeing less and less porno. The National Campaign Against The Obscene Publications Acts (NCROPA for short -- ed.) was set up by David Webb, and continues today to fight against sexual censorship.

You may think that all porn is controlled by men but you'd be wrong. Beate Uhse began an enormous porn empire when she started the first sex supermarkets in Germany and published millions of books and videos. They even took over a big British sex company last year. Mistress Antoinette, also a large empire, produces kinky magazines and videos in California, Arabella Melville produced LIBERTINE from Leicester in the 70's and Lily Pond produces YELLOW SILK, a very soft, poetic journal of erotic arts. A few years ago, Leonie, a kind of Dutch equivalent to Fiona Pitt Keighley produced four sex magazines for women called BEV and a group of women in San Francisco decided to produce sex stories and published LADIES' HOME EROTICA. Paula Meadows is a major contributor to FESSE, a British female submissive magazine. Candida Royale, who is in London this week promoting her sex videos for women, runs her own company, Femme Productions.

So, it's all happening, but despite the fact that some of us pornographers take our work seriously, the industry is not given any respect (nor has any consolidated self-respect). We don't have our own trade paper, and my best selling book THE SEX MANIAC'S DIARY is never listed in best selling lists because most book shops refuse to stock them.

The only British University that has been prepared to look seriously at the topic of porno is Reading, and its Professor Christie Davies described Britain as having Double Porn. On the continent, he says, they have good honest porn but we have porn posing as an attack. This is the tabloid press who print "It's our duty to reveal the most disgusting this and that." He calls this Double Porn.

British hypocrisy is part of our lifestyle. You might be shocked to find a copy of TEENAGE BAZOOMIS in a little post office in the Cotswolds, but I know a Somerset postmaster who runs a porn video club. And the petrol station on the main road probably sells soft porn, but only what its owner decides is OK. Mr Patel, WH Smith and John Menzies control what we see. Mind you, I recently spoke to a young man who had spent a few month's working in his dad's newsagents in Stockport and he was amused that the husbands would go out in the morning, stop off to buy a girlie mag and then in the afternoon their wives would come in and complain about the same girlie mags being on the shelves. Smiths and Menzies even have a list of activities that may not be mentioned, the list is anti-gay, anti S/M, forbids erections etc., although many of these things appear in general interest magazines. This month's TATLER shows pictures of pornographic watches and a recent CITY LIMITS advertised a night dub with a hard core image, even though the club isn't really sexy.

Britain isn't alone in having censorship problems -- sexual freedom is having to be heavily defended in the USA. I read recently in an American article by Carol Queen in SEXUAL SANITY: "We are a nation suffering from sexual schizophrenia."

Sexual pleasure is the most extreme form of pleasure we have. Love can be painful, bearing children can be painful and tiring but sex is always a delight. You'd have to have something radically wrong with you to not be curious to see a sex book. So why is it so difficult for us to do so? Because religions tell us it's bad. Who would go to church on Sundays if we could look at sex books instead? David Sullivan got it right bringing out The Sunday Sport! But there's something you should know about these soft pornographers and Double Pornographers of this world. They want to keep Britain's censorship laws because then they can carry on teasing and promising and pretending to the public instead of delivering, the real stuff, hard core pornography.

I am so used to being censored that I hardly notice. My 8mm films were seized because they bore the director's name, Lasse Braun, a name the police equated with hard core, even though I'd had them cut to come within British law. My distributors insist that I take out all reference to anal sex and all the squirts in the drawings have to go because they are squeamish about such things! I have printers refusing to print my books -- usually religious reasons, or they say "The women in the bindery would be shocked" or "right on" printers accuse my books of being sexist (which they aren't).

Fortunately, I've not suffered as much as colleagues from those antiporn feminists but Peter Webb, author of THE EROTIC ARTS has had coffins sent to him and other horrid tricks and even the magazine CUPIDO, which takes great trouble to feature as many pics of men as women and aims at both genders, is attacked by them. Take care that many feminists who say something is sexist really mean that it's sexY. They just hate sex.

I can take most sexual censorship. It encourages me to be more creative and search for words such as "dingleberries". If people really want porno, they will find it. But what really upsets me is when censorship destroys people's lives. For example, when the denial of information puts people's lives at risk from HIV. We read about surveys being censored -- one was not allowed to ask teenagers about oral sex. I was disgusted with the British Health Education Council who refused to let me print one of their HIV information ads in my SAFER SEX MANIAC'S BIBLE (which I was prepared to do free of charge) -- "We don't advertise in sex books" they told me. Where, I ask, would be more appropriate?

What REALLY breaks my heart is the sexual censorship of disabled people. They are supposed to live lives beyond sex. Matrons, parents and society in general selfishly deny people with disabilities any chance of sex in any form. In some institutions the word must not even be mentioned. I founded a club called The Outsiders which helps people with social and physical disabilities gain confidence, fight prejudice and enjoy themselves more. Because we tackle the problem of sexual censorship, we get attacked both by the gutter press and radical groups. Even the Greater London Association for Disabled People decided to list us as a sex club, which of course, is the most destructive thing they could do to us because nobody would be allowed to join.

I'm going to show you some slides. They were made for sex therapy to help people become less fearful of sex. I've been selling these slides to the NHS for the past ten years but they contain images that you yourselves have been denied by British law.
The Slides
They begin very gently, introducing people to sexual images. Dr Patricia Gillian produced them with me and she had some choice of pictures. She chose the male pin ups for women: muscle man, beach boy, farm boy and glamour boy. One of the early pictures is a delicate painting by Patricia's husband, Richard, of a submissive woman on a bed with her hands tied behind her back with rope. We included many of the drawings by Betty Dodson who's beautiful book LIBERATING MASTURBATION has helped many women.

Her drawings help women who are worried that their vulvas are peculiar, showing us just how much women vary in shape and style. One picture shows a woman examining her vulva in a mirror. Many of the pictures come from the beautiful 70s porno books I've collected. There are pictures of women watching men masturbate, men alone with sex magazines on a bed, masturbating. Men looking at a vulva, sucking it and exploring it. There's a photo of cunnilingus which I took myself for one of my picture books and it shows the sex position but no tongue-pussy contact. The next slide in the series shows this contact, demonstrating the difference in value between soft core and hard core. There are stroking, massage, and sensuous photos, breast stimulation and some unusual sex practices such as nipple stimulation with the penis, cleavage stimulation of the penis and girl using a cucumber. There are close-up pictures of fingers which look very sexy, as if they are genitals. Patricia and I produced these slides simply to help people with therapy and any profits go to the Outsiders Club.
MY ANSWERS TO THE STANDARD QUESTIONS:
DOES PORNOGRAPHY LEAD TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN?
There's been raping and pillaging for centuries but porn has only been available to the masses for the past 30 years. Pornography, the writing of harlots, was originally told by story tellers during rituals that lead up to marriage. Danish research showed that legalising porno lead to less sexual violence.
DO PORNOGRAPHY USERS JUST WANT MORE AND MORE, AND MORE EXTREME STUFF?
In Denmark, everyone wanted to have a peep at everything and then they got bored and it was mostly tourists buying it. Good porno is extreme, as it is fantasy material and there's nothing wrong with that. Sadly, most porn is drearily the same and punters seem to want to see the same old stuff churned out over and over again.
IS THE PORNO TRADE MALE DOMINATED?
No more than most other industries, but many women run porno companies and magazines and video, e.g. Beate Uhse and Candida Royale. Nearly all porn is aimed at men because mostly men buy it, although most women in the trade usually try to encourage a female clientele.
DO GIRLS GET EXPLOITED?
Most porno stars enjoy their work although they usually find porn gets boring. They do get annoyed when they get booked to do a blue show and discover that the audience is a group of police men having a night of fun -- maybe the same police who do porn and club busts.
REFERENCES
PORNOGRAPHY WITHOUT PREJUDICE -- a reply to objectors by G. L. Simons, Abelard-Schuman, 1972.

LIBERTY DENIED -- the current rise of censorship in America. Donna A. Demac, PEN America Centre, 1988.

SEXUAL SANITY -- a new magazine produced by Carol Queen, David Steinberg et al, PO Box 471061, San Francisco CA 94147.
ORGANISATIONS
FEMINISTS AGAINST CENSORSHIP
BM Box 207, London WC1 3XX.

NCROPA
c/o David Webb, 15 Sloane Court West, London SW3 4TD.

CAMPAIGN AGAINST CENSORSHIP
c/o 25 Middleton Close, Fareham, Hants P014 1QN.

OUTSIDERS
PO Box 4ZB, London W1A 4ZB.

LIBERTARIAN ALLIANCE
25 Chapter Chambers, Esterbrooke Street, London SW1P 4NN.

http://www.capital.demon.co.uk/LA/pamphlets/whatporn.htm

I'd forgotten all about Betty and her amazing vaginal pics that were truly artistic and gorgeous...

Further to my comments on Trolly's blog - Tuppy Owens played a part in my interview for a socialwork course in the eighties.

For those not familiar with her work - She is a happy libertine who set up 'The Outsiders' Club' and used to put together 'The Sex Maniacs' Diary'. The Outsiders' club was an opportunity for people with disabilities to explore their sexuality.

Dr. Tuppy Owens, who is best known for her sex and disability activism and her efforts to promote sexual freedom in Britain. Tuppy began her work in the sex world as a pornographer and every year throws one the most famous sex events in the world, The Sex Maniacs Ball (now known as The Night of the Senses).

I had an interview for a social work course when Tuppy was an activist and I was aware of her work. My interview was rather odd as chap interviewing was exceedingly twitchy and overly effected by building work going on outside. When asked several times if noise was distracting me, it became obvious that my interviwer wasn't coping with the builders' work so I agreed to move. I then followed this man down several flights of stairs and eventally found another room.

I had applied for a place on the course previously, but somewhat late in the year so had been quite relaxed at first rejection. My interviewer, however was fascinated by the subject. When asked why I hadn't got in he started to think aloud about the people who'd interviewed me last time and seemed quite disappointed I didn't remember them better.

I was then asked about a case of a care worker having sex with a disabled client that was in the media at the time.

And that's when it happened. I was distracted and bemused and stated my belief that sex with clients was wrong, but that we often do not acknowledge the disabled as sexual. And somehow I found myself saying 'Have you heard of Tuppy Owens'. And then like a slo-mo accident I then heard myself say that she wrote the Sex Maniacs' diary and started to babble about the Outsiders' Club...

To my relief, my second interviewer actually read the things I'd said on my application form and discussed them with me. And I got accepted on the course!

I was discussing Suzee Moon as my pen-name and alter-ego and how the name came about on Melinda's blog.
I know it a topic people have discussed elsewhere, but it does interest me.

Strangely it was all down to my subconscious. Suzee (especially spelt like that) seemed friendly and a bit naughty and there was something a bit silly about name 'Moon' for some reason. I liked Daphne Moon on Frasier which may have been part of it. Whole concept of Mooning and bottoms and SM as initials seemed to occur later. Suzee was penname to hang around spanking sites, but as I communicated via her I became fonder of her. When I had serious piece about spanking published I decided to use her as my 'proper' pen-name and she's now very much part of me. Suzee now seems to be 'me' and a brandname

Suzee - Doing Bridget and Blighty Proud!! . . Britain that is. lol

No nonsense knicks!!

Tend to think of knickers as fully covering the bottocks and the front triangle. But panties as being more skimpy and American as you. But I dont know if that actually correct?

Amused by Blighty's observations.

I too tend to think of knickers as the sensible variety. But as I hate the 'p' word I need something to describe the wispier variety of underpinnings. I love 'lingerie' and have a lingerie drawer as well as a knicker drawer.

When I was a not-so-poor student (I got a decent grant)in the seventies my friend and I would go clothes shopping once a term. And we were vary enamoured with the insubstantial and reasonably priced underwear on sale in BHS. There was this wonderful froth of flimsies that were labelled as 'scanties' so I sometimes use that label for my more frivolus underwear.

One of the surpriseses of being a fairly new self-outed (in certain places and circles) spankee is the discovery that there is an appreciation for big-bottomed women and big knickers!

My Cariad is of an age and type that scanties, suspenders, stockings etc make him go weak at the knees - But so does the more traditional look of sensible knicks! I can't lose - Except my knickers to the pleasure of us both!

Now I've mentioned the 'p' word I seem to have intensified my apparent interest in 'p' and am now getting ads for dirty, worn and teen ones!
Now as a kink I'm not exactly in a position to cast aspersions, chuck stones or hurl grubby knickers, but my only interest in such garments is putting them on and having them lowered