My Cariad and I were discussing buffets - As you do! :>>
I had a single phase where I attended a few BDSM events and was amused by the contrast of the exotica of the group and their polite queuing for the buffet of homely ham sandwiches, crisp, pork pies etc. Seeing a bare-breasted woman in underwear and Japanese ropework, cross-dressers and leather-clad Dom/mes politely chatting over the peanuts and salad reveals an interesting perspective on life.
A significant amount of couples attend such events but do not play - So as I reflected to my Cariad it's about being seen in a role one has chosen.
And today he told me of a phrase that he'd heard that summed it up - Consensual Affirmation - Good, huh? It fits BDSMers at such events, me spending an indecent amount of time on a spanking site and the historical re-enactors, trainspotters, twitchers, AmDram lot and goodness knows who else - And of course us bloggers!