Thanks for posting this Suzee.

I could never agree to a relationship that genuinely made one partner the dominant one, but with a certain amount of 'double think' I can see what is suggested on the link working.

Most importantly, it has to be completely consensual.

Secondly, it would make a great role play. Literally having a 'Fifties' day where you stayed in character and played, you could even have a lot of fun planning the scenarios posting letters to arrive on that day which alleged overspending e.t.c

From my own experience there were times when a spanking almost symbolically stopped a row from festering. Again completely consensual but somehow it brought an end to the bad feeling even though we both knew that it was pretend.

I'm with you re equality. Unless someone honestly believes in 'natural order' where partner is superior and/or ethically more evolved or something it makes no sense to me. But I don't have problem with others living it.

I did have several hours in Fifties Land where the 'natural order' was thatwomen had status of child in adult body in many ways. But putting aside my Betty Friedan, playing in Stepford was rather fun and incredibly sexy. As I was being so nice, he came up with idea of maintenance spanking!

It was strange to roleplay as we've not done it before, but it was a very positive experience. I think master and Maidservant may be on the cards...

"From my own experience there were times when a spanking almost symbolically stopped a row from festering. Again completely consensual but somehow it brought an end to the bad feeling even though we both knew that it was pretend."
I find that fascinating. A very nice male sub of my acquaintance said something very similar. I couldn't see how one person getting punished made sense, as both parties likely to be to blame for quarrels etc. But a spanking to symbolically put line under disagreement, regardless of who is at fault makes more sense to me. Thanks for sharing.

Don't know if the nasty spidey-bot things are crawling over my blog or if I have one or small number of enthusiastic new readers - I seem to have very high page reading for few visitors.
But Welcome from Wales/Croeso o Gymru!
Hope you enjoy

Suzee
xxxxx

http://fondlyandfirmly.com/
This is link to piece that last piece referred to - I know that's not even grammatical, but I know what I mean and hope you do!

I believe it is instinctual, natural and healthy to want to belong in a protective hierarchy. We all want to know that we are part of a society which supports, respects and protects us. Many women long for this feeling within their loving relationship - to be protected and cherished by their principled, strong, good man. They want to have limits set on any over-anxiousness, moodiness or occasional propensity to wreak emotional havoc. What's more quite a few fine women simply long to be spanked!

A hierarchy or chain of responsibility and command is not necessarily monolithic or oppressive. Respect, interdependency and trust go both ways - and there is no notion in DD of one person being inferior to another.

Domestic Discipline is a challenging field. There is no "follow the instructions even if I don't understand it" approach. This is about personal responsibility and grappling with some really perplexing questions. Remember, I am not a counselor and I have no qualifications at all! I urge you not to do anything regarding spanking or discipline unless you know exactly why you are doing it.

As far as I know, the material here has has a happy influence on people, but I wouldn't always know if it led to problems. The positive feedback has been most encouraging! Many women have written to me along the lines of "If my ex-husband had known all this, we would still be happily married." One woman wrote that the material here was a decisive factor in transforming her marriage - and that it had similarly helped many other women on the discussion forums she participates in. She wrote:

Just about every woman on the forums tells the exact same story:
Fell head over heels in love with hubby, learned to respect
someone for the first time, incredible sense of security and love,
peace in the house, no more fighting, received more respect than
ever before, and of course sex is off the Richter scale.

Like I said - Not for me, but right for many. And this for me is a fun fantasy - the 'bratty' wife and sensible husband Very 1950s!

...and school reunion

http://www.salon.com/urge/feature/1999/01/07feature2.html
This seems to be based on reading of a book with idea that women need spanking as security/to be kept in their place or similar. Not my take on it, but it is certainly not uncommon. And the author of this piece seems to have had mixed but positive reaction to his enquiries.

... all this talk about writing has had an effect. Having had a very slothful day I wrote a thousand word opening to my 'Back to the Fifties' story! First bit of 'proper' creative writing in ages. I'm quite pleased with it. Was fun sending it to my Cariad. Sending each other our erotic writing was part of our cyber courtship.

Tomorrow is definitely going to have fifties theme. I'm cooking roast dinner and planned my most fifties-looking dress. I don't have (or want!) a roll-on, but I think black underwear, stockings, layered petticoat and heels should do it...

One of the spanking books I've liked best is "School Reunion". It is a book of short stories which to me make it ideal fantasy fodder. And - as I discussed before - I don't like spanking stories that ar journey into more and more submissiveness - Just not as sexy for me. Short stories are best for focussing on more pure spanking stuff. penny Birch also does short stories I quite like, but with more humiliation, which is fine but not my thing. What I like about Lauren's writing is that it hinges on a scenario like a school reunion or a gardening programme and the spanking makes sense in the setting.
One of the stories that I enjoyed in "School Reunion" was about a modern couple having first dating experiences together, but as though they were in the fifties which leads to the spanking. My Cariad bought it for me and it's my favourite spanking book so far. I now want to read the fifties story but I lent him the book! Must get it back!

School Reunion
by Aspen, Laurel
Published Price: £6.99
ISBN: 1903931444
Published By: Chimera Publishing
Publication Date: 26 May 2003
Paperback, 256pages

If you happen to be passing Lauren, do say 'Hello'!

p.p.s. Google searched for Lauren's name and book details. Google search of combination of 'school reunion' and 'spanking' looked rather interesting...

I am utterly delighted to still be in Top Ten (No false modesty for me - just not my style) I've enjoyed my little foray into Celebrity Big Brother and delighted by the way it brought up so many interesting thoughts for myself and others. I'm amazed to find I journeyed into feminist academics, bad faith, masculinity, science fiction and social policy! All part of the pleasure of blogging.

Thought it was about time this thoughtful and curious spankee turned her thoughts back to spanking Of course, as someone who has fantasised about it since childhood, it is never that far from my thoughts!

As I've said before, for me it is integral to my sexuality and as my partner is so complementry in nature it is also integral to our sex life. We've not done roleplay of spanking scenarios as I've explained in my 'Not Roleplay' piece:
http://friendpages.com/p/pages/site/articles.cgi?who=UmFuZG9tSVaGoNPtwOjxIfL3O/FPB4DIJswYK1nHvojNt4r6A0z6HsV3zGJr4KeHMWSNdo2ov_AJ5b4bBMFTXD6Y3tgvt09n0uhwMdPnqSe/ZPkHAUj_Flu2/BY5MEcPKHgbBZyD9OwLpPvcGOfmF/BKqCXPGKegwR3fg150uJj953Vt3d9viA--&pageid=suzeemoon&id=388133

But as our writing shows, we both have a lively imagination and I did start thinking about idea. We are both intrigued by it but roleplaying as part of our sexuality is not familiar territory.

Although we are a couple we do not live together so when we get together there is still a sense of occasion and surprising him with choice of clothing is often part of the fun. And as we met in cyber emails as a form of tease are also part of our relationship.

Having joked about roleplay he sent me a list of instructions for a fifties housewife, while joking about heading for cover as in real life we are both passionate about equality. I suspect though that the roleplay conversation may be a trigger and I've been playing with the fifties images of spanking so typified in my avatar and central to my fantasies as I was growing up:

I also remember imagining scenes of spanking.

What was it about that word? It had a magic for me and the fascination of the unknown. As a child I didn’t want to be spanked but found the subject thrilling.Most teachers commonly administered a slap on the leg or bottom but I never received one, as I was a ‘good’ girl. I remember only fear at the thought of rousing a teacher to slap me.

The question that intrigues me (and I’ve never dared ask in case I ‘gave myself away’) is this: Were the fifties and sixties full of spanking images or did I ‘see’ them because of a predisposition? Did the following ‘make me’ into somebody with these tendencies or did I simply notice them because of who or what I am? Nature/nurture - Don’t you just love it? The memories from my childhood include

*Dennis the Menace and Beryl the Peril always getting spanked in the comics
*The afore-mentioned “Whacko” films and similar
*50’s films on T.V. where the interesting, ‘feisty’ young woman is spanked by the man she loves and becomes submissive
*Similar films where same type as above falls in love with the only man who ‘dares’ to spank her
*Doris Day films where Doris is interesting and feisty then becomes a pushover in love. I’m not sure if she ever gets spanked but somehow it would fit the plot if she did
*John Wayne spanking a young woman – no idea why
*An episode of ‘Bonanza’ where an ‘Indian squaw’ is apparently badly behaved and is spanked (off-screen?) with a hairbrush. The hairbrush becomes a ‘reminder’ for her to ‘behave’
*A Superman comic in which Lois is apparently spanked by a Superman robot (for being too inquisitive?) and hides her embarrassing secret; then it is revealed that Superman himself meted out her chastisement but Lois doesn’t know this.
I cannot guarantee the full authenticity of my memories but the above are what I believe I remember and I’ve seen enough repeats and old films to confirm their truth in principal. So, sisters, did you notice too? Perhaps you were indifferent or indignant? Me? I tingled and still do.

The tingling continued. I would imagine scenarios where handsome men meted out punishments to naughty girls or women.

As the fifties scenario is so central to my fantasies and so alien to my lifestyle it has triggered thoughts along the 'Life on Mars' TV show.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/lifeonmars/
I love the idea of Suzee suddenly finding herself in the fifties with her Cariad, who knows nothing but the fifties and unsure whether she's mad or really from the future. And of course I have ideas about how to work spanking into the plot!

Just been chatting to my Cariad and he mentioned piece was written in 1955 - The year I was born. Told him I'm writing this.

It seems the paper I heard by Bea Campbell was turned into a book called "Goliath:Britain's Dangerous Places", but I can't find a synopsis or review anywhere...Ho humm...

I hope this link works. I was using some key words to try and find Bea Campbell's work on young men and found this. It's a word doc by a male police officer about the future for men at work. He'd obviously heard similar paper from BC and mentions it.

It is also a rather lovely piece of writing by a man and about men.

Here's an extract:

The first thing above all [about men’s work] is that, for me, it is about men healing men. That is not about healing sickness, it is about healing wounds. Wounds I take to be part of the human condition. We are all wounded. And the joy I have found in being able to turn to men for love, for comfort for nurturing and support has been immense. I realise the loss I have had in my life by not looking for that earlier. So that’s one important thing to me about that… and it also offers up a possibility, because if I’m looking to men for what I can properly get from men then I’m not always looking to women for those things. I’m not looking to women, necessarily, in my personal life so much or in my professional life. I’m encouraged not to keep holding women in a caring role in a relationship to me. I think that has an enormous potential. I’m trying to make a connection [here] between what’s important about men’s work and healing of the genders.

Another thing for me, men’s work has come to be about is… Yes it’s about initiation into adulthood, but it’s also about growing into elderhood. It’s about becoming a mentor, it’s about seeking to express generativity and share our blessings. I am [an older man] and I work with older men. There’s part of me that still needs to become initiated into becoming whatever a man is. There’s part of me too that has to take on the responsibilities of being nearly fifty.

The third thing is about the transformation of relationships ‐ the possibility it opens up for… transforming my relationships with men, with women and transforming my relationship to work, [so that it becomes] less obsessive, less central in my life, less the primary source of value and identity.

http://people.bath.ac.uk/edsajw/mead/vapBmen.doc

Further to my dialogue with Menhir and Timsuzi (and having started on thoughts around Celebrity Big Brother!)this is quote about women in science fiction and is taken from a book of women's sf stories

In the wings, rarely centre stage, women have acted essentially as foils to their male counterparts, as enemies, appendages, victims or obscure objects of desire, perennially as the Other. You don't need green skin, a pointed head and two antennae to be treated as deviant by the white middle class male population in general, and the science fiction establishment in particular. You need merely to be, for example, homosexual, non-white, old, working-class or female.
(Green and Lefanu,Despatches From The Frontiers of the Female Mind, London: The Women's Press 1985:2)

A novel by Maggie Brooks about a middle class woman and working class man as discussed with timsuzi. I can't find book review but here's one of the film.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=980CE7DF153AF93BA35754C0A96E948260

Once again thinking about what is racism or other forms of oppressive behaviour has taken me back to the wonderful Joanna Russ quote on Bad Faith.

Russ is most famous as a writer of SF, especially as the writer of 'The Female man'. She wrote the following on Bad Faith.

To act in a way that is both sexist and racist; to maintain one's class privilege; it is only necessary to act in the customary, ordinary, usual, even polite manner. Nonetheless I doubt that any of us who does so is totally without the knowledge that something is wrong. To slide into decisions without allowing oneself to realise that one's making any; to feel dimly that one is enjoying advantages without trying to become clearly aware of what those advantages are (and who hasn't got them); to accept mystifications because they're customary and comfortable; cooking one's mental books to congratulate oneself on traditional behaviour as if it were actively moral behaviour; to know that one doesn't know; to prefer not to know; to defend one's status as already knowing with half-sincere, half-selfish passion as "objectivity" - This great, fuzzy area of human ingenuity is what Jean Paul Sartre calls bad faith. When spelled out the techniques used to maintain bad faith look morally atrocious and appallingly silly. That is because they are morally atrocious and appallingly silly. But this only shows when one spells them out, i.e. becomes aware of them. Hence this one effort among many to do just that.

Russ, J (1984) How To Suppress Women's Writing, London: The Women's Press

As regular readers will know although I could be described as masochistic or algolagniac I'm not ito pain in a general way and can be a bit of a coward about it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algolagnia

Despite this I am now branded! So having joked about straplines and my tendency not to mark easily I have acquired a stripe on my upper breast! Blaming it on cooking and garlic bread sounds a bit like women who walk into doors - e.g. Roddy Doyle's novel: http://www.readinggroupguides.com/guides/woman_who_walked_into_doors.asp
It just happens to be true!

When I've managed to burn myself cooking and ended up with a burn scar it's always been the inner wrist or my forearm. Last night I did some garlic bread and somehow when pulling baking tray towards myself it just touched me at about upper cleavage level. As usual around the house I was wearing a fairly respectable full-length camisole style nightdress. The mark is a very distinct red line about an inch long. I joked with my Cariad about peole thinking he'd branded me. Don't think that's something we're going to try and I'm not tempted by a tattoo either.

'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?' is one of my all-time favourite book titles an amazing work of science fiction that became source of 'Bladerunner' film. Talk of Big Brother and sci fi and dystopian novels made me think of it. It's by Phillip K Dick whose writing and ideas I admired, while being disturbed by certain aspects of his books.

In the novel, life is very wearisome and one can have one's mood enhanced by a machine or seek solace with an artificial animal if one cannot afford the real thing. There is also the distraction of a TV-type 'entertainment' where an old man is struggling to climb a mountain. The vicariousness explored at various levels came to mind in doscussions over CBB.

http://www.philipkdick.com/works_novels_androids.html

I like the way the book here is describes as 'inspiration' for film as novel has so many more layers, although film is excellent in its own way. Amazing to realise that it was written in 1968 when 2021 seemed so far off...

On a personal note, when I first encountered my Cariad in cyber he quoted PKD at me and I wondered how he'd react to me being both a PKD admirer and hater of what I saw as his misogyny - Luckily, he agreed!

...on my blog, not my flesh!
thanks for advice/explanations re titles and descriptions. My strapline now shows on my blog and if I'm in Top ten again in future, hopefully will appear there as well.

That said, I do find the idea of straplines, beltmarks,canelines and stripes rather sexy, but I seem to have excellent powers of recovery

It's lovely to be in Top Ten - So thanks for reading me! But I am a little bemused. Everyone else there has a 'strapline' which seems to be the words they have at top of blog. Mine is 'The Thoughtful and Curious Spankee' but all I get is an ellipse
Is there a technical reason for this do you think?
Or have I been censored?
It's hardly the most outrageous title/strapline surely?

And if you'd like more on spanking or CBB just let me know... No signs so far of combining the two, but there was some stuff on Ellen Degeneres and that property thing with Sarah Beeney that caught my attention...

The ridiculous to the sublime - From CBB to Heimat - Link to info about this amazing film that I think also reflects society/humanity, but is non-exploitative and ethical.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/cinema/features/heimat.shtml

I've joked about blogging about CBB if I don't get requests for discussing spanking stuff, but I want to make some observations in a more serious mode.

I believe the bullying I witnessed to be nasty, but not atypical or unsurprising for the circumstances and the backgrounds of the people in the house. The comments were of a racial context, but may well have been about being posh, spotty, tall, ginger or whatever.

As someone who dislikes inequality and prejudice I am concerned that the fear of being called racist shuts down debate. I honestly believe that Jade was perplexed by someone who was so different from her that she made assumptions and in the hothouse atmosphere reacted, but the racial angle seemed incidental, other than the generalised 'different from me' stuff I suspect. My fear is that others who thought Shilpa a control freak/snob/whatever will now be muttering about 'political correctness gone mad' and feeling that 'the liberals' have robbed them of freedom of speech.

Racism is vile. But fear of being called a racist does not help to foster understanding.

Don't know about anyone else but I also feel that Jade fired the bullets so busily prepared by Danielle, who really does seem to be the dishonest and sneaky one. As she tells us she has a high IQ and has had a reasonable level of formal education.

The monstrous combination that is Jade, Danielle and Jo was a classic bully-machine. But I also think it is so easy for observers to condemn by thinking we'd be better-behaved in similar circumstances. Most of us wouldn't. What we see over and over in history (Germany, Rwanda etc, etc) and in so many psychological experiments is that our desire to be part of the pack makes us behave appallingly. Somehow calling someone else a bully/racist/powerabuser must mean we're not - but it's not that simple.

I am not a Christian (but some of my friends are!) but I like some of the lessons from their leader - First stone, anyone?

Ps if you want a sensible perspective on where CBB fits into stuff I suggest you read Menhir's thoughts on it.

This is one of the perennial topics among spankos and BDSMers - Who really has the power? it is said that the spankee/sub does because s/he sets the limits. I can see that but I find it a bit simplistic - too much like saying women hold power in heterosexual sex because usually they are the ones to set limits. And I do know there are rampant women and principled and/or less interested/disinterested men out there!

Anyway - To hear some spankers/Doms/Tops talk you'd think they were charity workers! While it's great that they are sensitive to their partners' needs, I find the line that it's all about the spankee/sub/bottom less that honest. If one is a kink and one's partner isn't then obviously a favour is being given and that is truly caring and what good relationships are sometimes about. If a couple have a matching kink then like good sex, the power passes back and forth for mutual pleasure.

Dollydagger joked about my story so I though it a good idea to reiterate that like all good kinks I absolutely believe in safe, sane and consensual. It is fun to play with power issue in sex, spanking and writing though.

I am attaching a later piece of story I posted yesterday, as it reflects well on the power issue...

Christine told herself that she couldn’t help showing her insubordination every now and then, as Jonah was such an old fart sometimes. And she’d always been a bit slapdash at work. She accepted the sly, instant slaps her naughty remarks and looks inevitably encouraged and in retrospect savoured the formal corporal punishment her boss would inflict for her misdemeanours.
She told herself it was a favour she did the old scroat, allowing him to smack her arse and she was charitable enough to ensure her underwear would make the old goat realise what he was missing… She knew he wanted to fuck her but was too pussy-whipped by the dreaded Jan to even admit it. Besides it wasn’t as if she’d let him but trying to distract him with her underwear made the spankings more exciting. Jonah’s blood pressure definitely went up when he lifted her skirts that time and found she was wearing stockings and suspenders! And who’d have thought that hold-up stockings and no knickers looked so smart but avoided a visible pantie line?

Oh! And in case anyone is in any doubt - I think spanking is extremely sexy! Another evergreen topic is whether spanking is sexual...

I was recently reading about spankers who like slips/petticoats. I think it's nice to be dressed for spanking in a way that appeals to spanker and spankee.

In fiction and fanasy the idea of unplanned spanking and less clear consent are fun issues with which to play around and make scenario more realistic. The holy grail of the zipless f**k of Fear of Flying has its equivalent in Spankoworld - but not finding the grail can have its compensations...

Hope you like the extract from a piece I wrote about office spanking.

“Right, Miss Miller. Your disregard to policy and professional arrogance are punishable by a traditional spanking. I intend raising your skirt and smacking your bottom.”
Thus emboldened he pushed at her skirt imagining the discreet glide up her thighs but the thing was too damned tight! As they both realised her punishment was in danger of turning into a farce he heard her muffled, hesitant offer:
“Shall I remove it?”
His gruff “very well” led to Christine’s frantic activity at her side and then her brief movement from her resting place. As Jonah took in the sight of her pushing her skirt over her hips and the then sudden slither of material to her feet she was once again over his knee. Was that Christine’s heart or his cock he felt reverberating, wondered the confused Jonah.
This time the vision of Miss Miller over his knee was less ‘office’ as the pinstripes were replaced by a pale pink petticoat thing that seemed surprisingly old-fashioned to Jonah but a delightful bonus as he realised he would have something to raise after all.
Christine was mortified. She’d forgotten she’d borrowed her mum’s slip. Damn! But her new skirt was so damned tight; the slip helped and along with her more stylish thong ensured a smooth line.
As Jonah took the hem of the unexpected pink slip in his eager, falsely casual hands he held his breath wondering at the delights of his enjoyable unveiling, reminding himself that this was discipline not pleasure but loving every moment anyway. As the slip slowly rode up the nylon clad legs (of course stockings were impossible, he realised wistfully) he took in the delights of Christine’s shapely and rounded young thighs. He knew she was always trying to lose weight but he liked their touch of plumpness. To his delight her plumply rounded bottom seemed encase only in the sheer nylon of her pale flesh-coloured tights. He then realised she was wearing a g-string.
Once again Christine was overcome with mortification at the thought of the old scroat seeing her designer thong revealed in such humiliating circumstances. The things a woman has to do for her career and the opportunity to fight for justice she thought. Her mortification was nothing compared to what she felt as she became aware of Jonah’s hand on her bottom. She gritted her teeth and told herself that it was ‘only a smacked bottom’ and her choice for the furthering of her ambition. So why was she so scared, anxious and wanting to cry just at his casual touch? The absence of his hand awoke a panic that surprised her. But before she could reopen negotiations the shocking first slap of her bottom brought a yelp of surprise and pain that shook out all thoughts except the sting in her cheek where the slap had landed.

I admit I am a sad person with no life (and a lover whose work sometimes takes him away ) but I sometimes happen to be at my computer between one and two in the mornng. At this alternative witching hour the blog.co.uk Top Ten mysteriously rearranges itself, based I assume on the activities of preceding day. And yet when I revisit after daylight a change tends to have occurred. Lovely to have gone from No.2 to No.1, but why? What happens in the early hours of the new day? I assume there is some sort of automated system regulating the thing, so why this early morning blip?

Anyway Welcome/Croeso! to readers new and old. I'd like to repeat my offer to respond to requests re content so this can be the 'Everything you wanted to know about spanking, but were afraid to ask' blog. As said previously - if you're shy send a message via site and I'll respond with discretion. Or you can leave message on blog as a visitor.