I try really hard to make myself understood, but after 'whuppped by the Christians' I realise that being gnomic, obscure or just bl**dy confusing generates more dialogue. Could be fun.

Well being top was fun while it lasted....

Sexual objectification is problematic as it can be demeaning. As discussed with Blighty, Trolly et al these issues are complex. We can choose to present ourselves as 'sex objects' and feel empowered - Or not. I think that's a huge issue and I'm not in mood for raunch culture debate at the moment.I'm more interested in my own journey and thoughts which may or may not resonate, but hopefully will be of interest.

For many years I was a very acceptable size 12/14 with 38" hips and was confident about my clothed bum but completely self-conscious at it's naked state. I remember once being teased by my first sexual partner and was rather careful not to turn my back on him undressed.

I'm now fifty-two years old and size 24/26 with an extra ten inches or so on the nether-regions, but being an out-of-the-closet spankee I can hardly keep my far more generously proportioned bum hidden!I would be lying or far more self-actualised/emotionally mature/whatever if I said I was not hyper-conscious of having a large wobbly bum. But that said, I am less self-conscious about it than I was when I had a more apparently acceptable slimmer one.

I've done body-focussed work as part of development stuff in the past. I remember doing this thing where one had to colour in body outlines to show how one felt about one's body. Mine was multi-coloured! I admitted to hating the fat, but acknowledging my flesh did bring me pleasure as well.

Knowing that that particular area of my body brings so much pleasure to my partner and myself has made me more accepting and less self-conscious in private. If I could instantly and painlessly be given a more perfect body I'd not hesitate to accept. That said, I am aware of a real journey when the uncovering of my flesh is such a central pleasure for us both despite the ravages of time, nature and chocolate.

After my jokes about bondage I did search as I believe Japanese ropework can be rather stunning but couldn't find sot of pics I remember seeing. I did find link to my blog though!

Below is piece about Japanese Rope Work

http://www.londonfetishscene.com/wipi/index.php/Shibari

A visitor made me realise absurdity of a bottom/spankee being in Top Ten That said I love idea of being a top bottom in both senses
I certainly got my birthday spanking as well as fabulous presents. He suggested 'bondage-lite' and I said he didn't have to make it too 'lite'
My sister sent me a 'princess' card which is apparently so me, and I was wearing crushed red velvet so a theme sort of emerged... my beautiful bedroom (decorated by him) isn't exactly a dungeon, but the metal head and foot are good places to practice 'The Boy Scout's Guide to Knots'

I've dabbled with fairystory themes so have tried Princess about to get red bottom and wrote about Princess-type getting her come-uppance:

She discovered she was rather good at writing imaginative scenarios for both Saucy Sarah and Lady Sarah. In return for her stories and scenarios she would be privy to her opposite numbers’ plans or hopes for her as well as their other fantasies. She was also gratified at the responses she received when she ‘posted’ stories on selected notice boards. There was something exciting about knowing all those men and some women longed to serve Lady Sarah. And many wished to add to the discomfort of poor beleaguered Saucy Sarah. She was especially excited by the handful of men who wished to turn the tables on Lady Sarah and give her a taste of her own whip. The idea of lady Sarah being treated like saucy Sarah was a thread of correspondence that excited Sarah and many of her fans.

Sarah is a switch in cyber and character in non-spanking story that somehow contains lots of spanking stuff...

Once again Lady Sarah had had the tables turned. Her ‘despised son of a yokel’ would-be suitor had accepted his whipping but refused to thank her and instead grabbed the whip, reminding Lady Sarah of her vulnerability. Lady Sarah always took such whippings with more dignity than saucy Sarah who was apt to making rather a fuss. Never-the-less it took all her dignity to remain stoical at her subjection to a bare-bottomed spanking as though she were a naughty child rather than a grand lady…

A bit of an experiment. Let me know what you think...
My Cariad likes it, but he is biased
Suzee - The Birthday Girl
xxxxx

He said he’d spank the arse off me wallop me smack the behind off me called me a cheeky mare and threatened me I laughed and poked out my tongue saucy like but it was exciting and I kept thinking about it about how he’d grab me and pull up my skirt and take down my knickers and how he’d spank me and how I’d squeal and struggle but not be able to get away and be shocked and haughty but love it and love his power but it would hurt and I’d want him to stop and he wouldn’t and I wouldn’t want it to stop and he’d be all excited and say it was for my own good and someone should teach me a lesson and I was a cheeky young madam who needed her knickers taking down and needed a good spanking and if anyone was man enough to do it he was and I was excited so I kept on and pretended to be shocked by his coarseness and said how dare he and when I pretended to be shocked he said it more about taking down my knickers and giving me a smacked bottom and a good arse-licking and I protested and laughed and did my haughty face and when he said he was man enough I laughed more and he grabbed me and he pulled me to him and he got me under his arm and he held me there with my bottom all sticking out and I squealed and he said not so grown-up now are you and I said how dare you and he laughed and just smacked me hard like that bent under his arm over my skirt and smacked me hard and held me tight and I got all flustered and he said he’d smack my arse until I learnt some manners and apologised but I wouldn’t and he smacked me some more and

Oi! Oi! Oi!
Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy,Paddy, Paddy, Paddy...
get well soon!

Apparently I am a wood sheep and it sounds like this may be a good year....

Daydreaming all afternoon sounds heavenly to the Sheep. This creative, esoteric Sign needs plenty of time alone in which to feed its Muse. Sheep are generally most comfortable in their own minds (which other, more linear-thinking Signs may have trouble deciphering). This Sign makes a great craftsperson or artisan, or perhaps a teacher of New Age studies -- any occupation that allows its mind the full range of freedom. Sheep tend not to be very well-organized, precluding many more dry business endeavors. In fact, Sheep tend not to be very materialistic in general, finding plenty of riches in their own imagination. However, especially when in love, the Sheep can be quite a lavish gift-giver.
Perhaps it's that artistic temperament that so often causes Sheep to feel insecure, but the result is that these high-strung creatures need to feel loved and admired lest they start worrying incessantly. For this reason, Sheep tend to have a hard time with romance; anyone who couples up with a Sheep must know, this Sign has a sensitive streak a mile wide and can be subject to bouts of anxiety over seemingly inconsequential things. Sheep need plenty of love, support and open reassurance from their lovers. If a relationship is marked by conflict, the Sheep will often pull away -- either physically or simply by retreating into the safe haven of its imagination.
If the romance is going well, however, Sheep won't hesitate to tell their partner what they need -- and they can be quite insistent about it! This Sign will definitely return the favor, however; the Sheep has a luxurious side that delights in indulging a lover's every wish. Appearances are also important to the Sheep, which may explain why these folks can spend hours primping and posing.
Sheep would be well-served by learning to relax and let others run the show from time to time. Once they can be certain that their friends and lovers won't be gone when the Sheep returns from its daydreams, life will be a field of daisies.
The most compatible match for a Sheep is the Pig or the Rabbit.
http://chinese.astrology.com/

Sheep / Goat : 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003
At pig's table, sheep has the seat of honored guest. Luck and good fortune in romance and business are the gifts offered to the lucky sign this year. Gifts of money may surprise the sheep. The pig smiles on family and will shower the sheep who becomes engaged or married during this year with many blessings. Sheep born in this year will receive good fortune from the banquet host. The shy sheep or one who cannot decide may miss the advantage of all the opportunities that this year brings.
http://www.chiff.com/a/chinese-horoscopes.htm

WOOD LAMB Horoscope
Jan 24, 1955 to Feb 11, 1956
Lamb people have good taste and are quite charming and elegant … and rich. You may find them the center of attention at a stylish dinner party, ravishing all with incomparable wit and bon mots. The opposite is also true: they are often quite shy and sometimes prefer complete anonymity, the quiet life at home with a good book, a roaring fire, and the joys of the palate. A creative flame burns in their lives and you may find them before a canvas experimenting with bright bold genius strokes of paint. Sometimes, they tend to be pessimistic and question the meaning of life, wondering "why they dwell among green mountains." They are quite often deeply religious or spiritual and quite passionate about their work and their belief.
Sweet Potato Soup and Cellophane Noodles are among keys to good health.
The successful Wood Lamb has the horsepower of an optimist and the emergency brakes of a pessimist. The Wood Lamb has a burning ambition that keeps his or her career path always moving upwards towards the mountain top. They are multi-talented jugglers, excelling in whatever endeavors they pursue. Super organizers, they can solve even the toughest of problems. Because of their laser focus, they always generate results. Financial Life is not too bad either! They have the opportunity to make really big money and must constantly be on guard not to let opportunities pass them by. In the Love & Relationships arena, Wood Lambs are blessed. Many divorces are caused by the marriage of two people who are in love with themselves. This won't happen with Wood Lambs, who love their partners more than life itself. They take great pains to please their loved ones, who, however, may not ever hear whispered sweet nothings from their Lambs. The Wood Lambs, you see, don't wear their feelings on their sleeve. It's hard for them to talk about love but easy for them to show it. And show it they do, with countless acts of kindness and courtesy! This relationship will be filled with love of the most abiding kind.
Famous Lamb People: Sir Laurence Olivier, Josephine Bonaparte, Margot Fonteyn, Mikhail Gorbachev, Toni Morrison, Leonard Nimoy, Pierre Trudeau, Katharine Hepburn, Boris Yeltsin
http://www.tuvy.com/entertainment/chinese_horoscope.htm

Sign of The Sheep for February 2007.
By Nathaniel. The Year of the Pig radiates from the 18th. It’s useful for reorganising living arrangements, cementing partnerships and having children, if you’re in the mood. Otherwise, there’ll be a little extra money and useful career omens. You won’t experience all the security you desire, but you’ll find inner strength. At times you’ll feel as if some of the people around you are working against your interests or withholding information. If so, stay silent, watch and find out. Don’t jump to assumptions. You’ll be busy, so ensure that loved ones are not neglected or relegated to second best.

The Ice Moon reigns until the 17th, pressurising you to watch your pennies. 2nd-11th, expect runs on funds, through social extravaganzas and home repairs or purchases. There’ll be no big career progress, but any work you complete or contacts you make will bring rewards in future months. Up to the 17th, family members and love-partners will need more of your time and energy. They’ll keep you busy.

The 18th’s New Holiday Moon will create competitive attitudes at work and home. However, you’ll stay ahead if you follow your intuition and devote your effort to where it’s most needed. Before the 26th, there’ll be pleasurable moments with children and loved ones. Some Sheep will take an early holiday. For best results visit areas of natural beauty or historical/spiritual interest.

22nd on, conflicting demands and unnecessary actions from in-laws or relatives will raise your stressometer level. Consider the consequences before you go on the offensive. Try delay or avoidance tactics, preferably alongside a hefty dose of your Sheep subtlety.

http://www.horoscope.co.uk/chinese_index.htm

So does it sound like the 'me' you get in cyber?

I seem to have managed to climb the greasy pole again! Still don't understand, but unlike the cooler bloggers I am once again utterly delighted!
Thank you for reading. If you have questions or would like me to discuss particular topic just let me know.

I have been tagged to do this A to Z thing – Thanks Austin! - So here goes…

A – Arse – fabulous old English word I love.
B – Bottom, bum, buttocks, behind…Hmmm… Is there a theme developing I wonder? As proud possessor I think breasts/boobs are rather nice as well. I also describe myself as bawdy
C – I can think of something else of which I’m a proud possessor that starts with this, but I don’t like the nasty edge the word is given. I am however rather cuddly and fond of canes and have an adored Cariad in my life.
D – Ummmm….Determined?
E – Enthusiastic
F – The ‘F’ word. When I’m cross or exasperated, there is no other word that will do and I love using it. Apparently I can sound a bit posh and educated and those who are less familiar with my salty moments can be reduced to hysteria when I do swear. F**king is also a rather pleasant pastime. Feminism – I am passionate about it.
G – Giggles – life is usually better with a laugh – Giggling during spankings is sometimes unavoidable, even when it hurts! And apparently I am gaseous clay according to one of my tags…
H – Hearty – I’m a woman of appetite!
I – Indolence and Imagination
J – Jokes – Like many women I don’t ‘do’ straight gag-type jokes, but I enjoy the lighter side of life
K – Knickers – They play a large part in my erotic life
L – Lingerie – Whoops – another theme… I adore gorgeous frilly, saucy, feminine, dramatic, sweet, sensuous, simple, elaborate, outrageous underpinnings
M – masochistic in a specific setting
N – Nice according to my ex and somebody who tagged me here – So thanks! And of course also rather naughty… Also very nosey as people fascinate me.
O – Open – I try to be, within reason
P – Particular about certain things despite being anti-housework – very fussy about teaspoons and such
Q – Quiet. I can be – surprisingly so as I like my own company and silence
R – Reliable
S – Has to be sex and spanking – such delightful pastimes
T – Torrid – My writing rather than my everyday life! A tease – In the nicest possible way!
U – Unique – As are we all…
V – Vocal
W – Writer and Wicked
X – X-rated and x-factor
Y – Youthful – in outlook!
Z – Zealous about things I find important

I won’t tag anybody as it’s hard to know who’s been tagged already. Anyone not done it yet and fancies a go – please do so and let me know!

Thanks Suzee; I never expected to get such a quick full response from you.
I will read what you say again.
I have never been spanked but maybe am missing a trick. Best wishes, David.

Having read your answer again I wonder how you risked meeting someone from a spanking web site.Although not wanting to monopolise your column I really would like to know how you took the plunge and met in the flesh.
Regards,
David.

I am delighted that David has asked further questions as I enjoy opportunity to share my perspective.

I realise the 'missing a trick' is probably a flippant remark, but if anything new sounds interesting I think going for it if safe, sane and cosensual is usually a good idea so I'd include folk dancing but not incest. So sky-diving, spanking, sushi, speed-dating, and sudoku might be enjoyable, but best not at the same time!

Meeting spankos did take courage, but not inordinately so. I know enough about realities of dangerous behaviour to know we are more in danger from those we know well and meeting people at a 'munch' is fairly safe practically. I know enough about people to know that if one is fairly open there will usually be kindnes and courtesy to newcomers. Munch organisers do realise that it takes courage however and will be very supportive.

my first munch visit was local and as there isn't a local spanking group it wa a BDSM group so I was nervous of being a lightweight! As I've written about previously, the BDSMers are lovely and gentle and kind in social setting.

Meeting folk from Britishspanking.com was easier because I had exchanged thoughts and ideas on noticeboards so I 'knew' some of them already on one level - like people with whom I exchange stuff here. I was there thinking "So, YOU'RE Little Weed/Macho Mitch/Saucy Sara/Whoever" I was getting "So YOU'RE Suzee Moon!"

Meeting my Cariad was like meeting a penpal one had learnt to trust over time. We 'knew' each other well. Like any blind date when we first met I made certain safety arrangements that one should in such circumstances. See advice on sites or personal ads for type of thing I mean.

On spanking sites, like other places there are some who expect you to be up for a meeting with no history, knowledge or back up. I consider such meetings if they happen to be foolhardy, but some like to take risks I suppose. I dislike the way that now this site reduces us to name, sex and age in online status which I think demeans us and encourages a lazines of communication.

I think it only fair to point out that single women tend to be more popular and trusted than single men to events because there is fear of 'swamping'. Munches tend to be very egalitarian and being 'known' via munches and activity on site noticeboards makes a welcome at events more likely if one wishes to attend such events. Also men who try to meet women via personals on such sites tend to be more successful if they communicate well and give an idea of who they are.

One of the things that did surprise me when single , was how hard it was to meet men. I wrote this on my site at the time:

Had an interesting chat with my ‘nilla friend Graham about the challenge of meeting appropriate men. We’d already decided that cyber dating spankers was akin to ‘other’ men. We talked about how some men would ignore everything written and write to women with whom there was no common ground and seemed particularly excited by geographical proximity. He summed it up as:
'Come round for a shag and pick up a loaf on the way - On second thoughts that's too much trouble - Just bring the bread and forget the shag!' Substitute spanking for shag and there you have it! Obviously as one of my best friends is male I’m not exactly anti-male, just a bit bemused and frustrated (emotionally!)

http://friendpages.com/p/pages/site/articles.cgi?who=UmFuZG9tSVasRXhxqRGkRR0W3AY7B2ZEJnkXkA0usPFecmveR/Yj3WHwp0Kpm_wMr/JFYteD5Df9PCEkCjl811IoT/mtgsjS9FccYxm3o3G4ExU/dubI/MQpiqE1J2q/dxSGFoVGQ29DHoP0DZtjop9voXLtI0QxjQeb_S8GFFSKTKeMjfnVnQqmd5j2dtFziBWPCjdij1k-&pageid=suzeemoon&id=388141

I've been quite expansive and widened topic as I hope others will find it of interest and/or useful.

Further questions welcome.
Suzee
xxxxxxxxxx

Ok...I realise that I don't know what readership others have, but I STILL find the top ten thingy on ths site confusing. I seem to be in when I have moderate amount of hits, and out when (by my standards) I have astonishingly high numbers. I sort of know about these spider thingies (see how technical I am?!), but I still find it one of life's mysteries. I understand there is an element of interaction as well and I have noticed long silly dialogues can 'bump one up'as can simply leaving and receiving lots of comments. I rememer a blog that was meant to be about paganism, but seemed to have little to say on actual topic. By offering to swap comments, however the blog seemed to shoot up the charts.

Anyone able to explain in non-techie lingo?
I know I could ask on enquiries bit of this site, but doing so does tend to log me out and I don't fancy hassle.

When did you discover spanking and why does it please you ?
Does writing erotica excite you ?

Thanks to davidjohn for the above question.

I had fantasies about spanking since childhood, but they were a mere vague excitement. I would invent spanking scenarios for my amusement and fascination, but did not see thoughts as sexual. This is what I wrote in an autobiographical piece:

I would imagine scenarios where handsome men meted out punishments to naughty girls or women. While these secret fantasies were thrilling I didn’t see them as sexual and I discovered my sexuality in a vanilla context. Actually progressing to intercourse through the tortuous stages of ‘courting’ were as much sexuality as I could handle. And yet in a separate little world the spanking thoughts were there.

As I became more sexually aware I realised sexual fantasy was part of the sexual experiencte.

At some point I decided there was more to this sex lark than what I got with my boyfriend and I knew women could enjoy themselves alone so I decided to experiment. No prizes for guessing my thoughts as I discovered the delights of solo masturbation. My youthful fantasies came flooding back with some wonderful additions. I now knew about sex; being spanked by any man was thrilling but being spanked by a lover or a man who would become my lover was the ultimate turn-on.

So the thoughts have been there since early childhood. I did have brief experience of realityin my thirties, but relationship ended and I entered a thirteen year relationship with lovely man who knew my fantasies, but somehow I think we were too inhibited to act on them.

I met my current partner through a spanking site and in last four years have truly discovered the joy of spanking.

I've no idea why it pleases me - I just seem to be 'that way' - The thought of spanking is utterly central to my sexuality although I receive pleasure at thought and reality of 'normal' sexual contact and behaviour.

Writing erotica does excite me and reading my own stuff does it for me as well. I keep reading that to get published one needs to write for a market but I remain stubbornly convinced there are women and men who are turned on by the things that work for me. Anecdotally, the feedback for my writing is positive and I seem to strike a chord (or something!) with fellow-spankos, but of course fantasy is very personal and my take won't be for everybody, even fellow-spankos.

Hope that answers your questions. Thanks for asking.
Suzee
xxxx

Like Trolly, I don't remember being read to. But my Mum did tell me stories which retrospectively were singularly unsuitable and quite ghoulish! I was definitely told a version of Blue Beard and one about an impoverished female trying to save soap from going down the plughole leading to some scary stuff - Must ask Mum about that one!

I suspect I got mixed message about reading as Mum was/is foreign and revered education because/despite hers was curtailed. Yet, somehow there were not books in evidence that I recall when I was very young.Dad was working class and not obviously into books.

What I do remember is buying my first book with Mum's encouragement. I was in juniors and a good reader and she suggested buying a book. The village newsagent had some and for 2/6d (I think) I got Enid Blyton's 'The Naughtiest Girl in the School' That title really amuses me retrospectively, but no spankings that I recall! It was classic boarding school stuff, although unlike the twins at St. Claire's stuff to which I progressed,the school was very egalitarian with school meetings and shared pocket money and such lefty, pinko progressive ideas. But of course in terribly upper middle class setting of the actual boarding school and onus on conformity. The influence of such books on working class and lower middle class children is a fascinating one.

I remember being very excited at owning a book and taking it to school and sitting reading it in the playground. It seemed terribly grown-up compared with books available in school. As you can probably guess I was never the most popular girl in the school.

I loved my series of three 'Naughtiest Girl' books and the St.Claire's' ones. I can actually remember more of their plots than those of the thousands of books I've since read, including ones about which I am passionate. I am rubbish at remembering plots, but much of my early eading has stayed with me. I alsohave excellent recall of most of the classic fairy tales.

I am delighted to get so many visits. I'm assuming over 200 visits and more than 600 hits -ouch! - are real visitors and not those robot search-things. I had begun to wonder if Celebtity Big Brother was more interesting than spanking - it created more dialogue anyway!
I've now run out of questions - So...

A gentleman of middle years has recently found himself intrigued and excited at thoughts of spanking and possibly witnessing and photographing such things. I must admit I find myself intrigued by his interest and it has made me stop and think.

In Spanko-Land most of the people who’ve shared info seem to feel that they are ‘like that’ and have been since an early age. Like me there is a lifetime of fascination in the shared history. I have no idea whether we are born this way or made. I suspect a pre-disposition that is triggered, but it can only be conjecture and I honestly think it doesn’t matter. As I’ve said elsewhere – no-one feels need for explanation of why Fred is heterosexual or Jane really loves sexual intercourse…

I also believe that Dom/sub, BDSM and spanking form a sexual continuum similar to what I think of as the homo-heterosexual one. Some of us seem 100% straight or gay, some bi and some ‘bi-curious’ and find our sexual preference shaped by an individual/individuals to whom we are drawn. Some get a shock when we find a person or trigger takes us somewhere unexpected. And so it is with kink stuff I believe.

The spanko convert is a rarity on spanking sites, but they seem no less enthusiastic for that. One gentleman got drawn in by a sexy spanking video and is rather popular as a safe, single man in certain quarters.

Since I’ve been writing about spanking in a non-spanking setting I have been told that I have made several people stop, think and consider…

I have a good friend who is a 'convert' and dommes her sub partner and is easily as enthusiastic as any life-long fantasiser.

I guess some of us are more open to novelty and change than others. Some like late-flowering lesbians I’ve met may feel that they discover something in themselves that feels true or has been suppressed.

Admitting to sub/Dom or spanking stuff would not have been easy especially to those of us who are now past forty. Fears of being perverted, bullies, victims etc all make this a challenging area. As a feminist I found it particularly difficult. And as I only like ‘nice’ men, then nice men who really want to spank are not that easy to find! Almost all male spankers with whom I’ve exchanged thoughts have had anxieties that match mine about being a primitive throwback or similar. And female Dommes and male subs have their own issues as you can imagine!

I once had a dialogue on an American spanking site about feminism and spanking. Younger women saw no contradiction, which was great, but I struggled to get there/here.

My gentleman correspondent was fascinated by idea of witnessing and possibly photographing spanking. I can understand that. Voyeurism and exhibitionism are very exciting concepts to many as fantasy and in reality. I personally am private, but many seem to enjoy public spanking and lots seem to like being photographed and taking photographs. At spanking/BDSM events photography is never allowed without permission, but there are those who seem happy to be photographed. And many happy amateurs post pics of their spankings alongside the professional stuff that is available on various sites.

When I first came to terms with my spanking fetish I loved looking at pictures and got such a thrill from the stuff available in cyber.

If anyone has any questions do let me know. Please post as visitor if you are shy or send message via the blogsite and I’ll answer via this blog.

Thank you to those who’ve posed such interesting questions.

Another interesting question from an anonymous reader. Thanks!

When spanking, do you use a paddle, tawse or cane, or do you always spank with the hand? If you do use an implement, which one and why?

The pedants of Spanko-Land and more academic continents may well point out that spanking is only by hand and they’d be right. Dictionary definitions and some spankos would concur on this. As a part-time pedant I play with definitions to suit myself.

I consider myself a spankee because I only like certain attentions paid to one part of my body. There are those who can sing the praises of all manner of pain inflicted on hands, backs, thighs etc but not me.

And for me like many others there is something about the etymology based on the verb ‘to spank’ that leaves me weak-kneed.

Traditional spanking (i.e. use of a hand on a bottom) is just incredibly sexy in my head and in reality. The physicality and intimacy is wonderful. Traditional ‘over the knee’/across the lap spanking rings bells sexually, emotionally and psychologically for me and others.

Like a varied sex life, implements do make spanking more varied and exciting. Use of paddles, rulers, hairbrushes etc all add to the excitement and eroticism and ensure a level of force and sting while sparing the hand of one’s partner!

For me, there is something special about the cane though. Whether it is a ‘British’ thing due to it being in the background of one’s schooldays or not I’m not sure – I think the paddle or a switch may be similar for our cousins across the pond, so it may be cultural. It could also be experience and actual sensation.

I am never caned harshly enough to cause damage, but always enough to hurt and arouse very mixed feelings. For me, there is something ritualistic and mind-blowing about the cane, especially the whole bending over for it that makes me distracted at the very thought of it.

My second favourite implement is the belt and again there is something about ritual of removal etc that does it for me and others who also find it effective.

As said previously and elsewhere my fantasies lie in ‘bratty woman’ stuff rather than school scenario so hand-spanking and possibly belt make sense, but perhaps childhood fear of cane make that powerful? Or perhaps submitting to cane is a head-trip because it is submitting to something made for punishment? Who knows. Works for me…

Thank you so much for the question. As ever, answering questions actually encourages thoughts and ideas.

I have done a question and answer thing from a BDSM/spanking site and it raised the following question from an interested blog-reader:

You said something about not involving others in your spanking, but mentioned spanking clubs; would you ever consider using one?

No - Just not my scene, but I think they are a good thing for those whom they suit. When I was single and 'out' I did attend some munches organised by local BDSM group and UK group of spankos. Munches are strictly social and good way to meet like-minded people and shatter the illusion of being the only spanko in the village!

I don't really know about 'clubs' as such, but know people who attend spanking and BDSM events and parties. Some are on 'expenses only' basis and may be a party or a few days away a sort of bed, board and spanking opportunity.

As it is a get-together of like-minded people there is no guarantee of 'action' and it depends on willingness and mood of participants. Levels of action, privacy, public play will be down to choice. I understand that there is often a certain amout of public 'horseplay' with limited spanking as forfeits type games.

There are also professional and semi-professional 'events' that are based on something like 'jail' or school scenarios with full-on roleplay.

In the South Wales area the local BDSM group has monthly events with opportunity for private and public play. There is also room to socialise without taking part in 'action' if one wishes merely to socialise. When single I socialised here a few times, but avoided the play areas!

Some spankos and BDSMers like to attend fetish fairs that are run fairly regularly. These often have exhibitions and even 'classes' of various activities as well as opportunity to but equipment and sexy underwear!

Probably this will lead to supplementary questions!

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BDSM_Wales/

http://www.britishspanking.com/

And here it is! Question 3 – Which is sort of three questions but go nicely together…

Does a spanking always result in lovemaking? I guess the question I'm asking is; do you use spanking as a form of foreplay?
How often do you and your partner spank?

I’d like to start answering this by registering my objection to foreplay! I think all that fabulous stuff one can do is sex play and lovemaking in itself rather than a lead to something else.

And so as one of the fabulous things you can do is spank or be spanked, then I see it as sex play and love making regardless of what follows.
As I’ve said here and elsewhere before not everybody sees spanking as sexual but my Cariad and I do. And the reason I see it as sexual is because I find it sexually arousing and it forms the basis of my erotic fantasies.

When I was a fantasist with no experience I did think spanking would be a form of foreplay/sexplay that would lead to genital-centred stuff. It is and does. What surprised me was how satisfying it is in itself. Ideally it is part of lovemaking, but I have found that for me it is also a complete act in itself. While an orgasm is the icing on the cake it’s not actually necessary. Like a passionate snogging session and the air filled with desire and promise can be strangely satisfying without scratching the proverbial itch – so can spanking be if it happens to light your personal fire.

I have had fabulously erotic times with my Cariad when we’ve not had opportunity for more formal sexual activity but both found spanking a more than adequate alternative. This is fictional, but triggered by experience and fantasy:
http://friendpages.com/p/pages/site/articles.cgi?who=UmFuZG9tSVa9Z1sXRtaonLkxOKMgGF82pR57GNUpP5B/6X/tlhZzTXJFn1Qx6oglHfUbcbJa/rk__Fir8k7eT8fZMzoJ4y4UH/Iv8_03y0aBk/06ZEDwrDLFMp4f5IaVDNSxpE6PpUEE0tb_8F6zNTyoVIbptbzriVPCDuB8juJnxPzL_Lg4zw--&pageid=suzeemoon&id=388135

I assumed that if I ever had a relationship with a spanker it would be along these lines as described in the life of one of my alternative fictional Suzees:

The fact they were so equal and she was so independent made their little games so much more exciting for both of them. The cool, confident Suzee grudgingly agreeing she deserved a spanki