Thanks Suzee; I never expected to get such a quick full response from you.
I will read what you say again.
I have never been spanked but maybe am missing a trick. Best wishes, David.

Having read your answer again I wonder how you risked meeting someone from a spanking web site.Although not wanting to monopolise your column I really would like to know how you took the plunge and met in the flesh.
Regards,
David.

I am delighted that David has asked further questions as I enjoy opportunity to share my perspective.

I realise the 'missing a trick' is probably a flippant remark, but if anything new sounds interesting I think going for it if safe, sane and cosensual is usually a good idea so I'd include folk dancing but not incest. So sky-diving, spanking, sushi, speed-dating, and sudoku might be enjoyable, but best not at the same time!

Meeting spankos did take courage, but not inordinately so. I know enough about realities of dangerous behaviour to know we are more in danger from those we know well and meeting people at a 'munch' is fairly safe practically. I know enough about people to know that if one is fairly open there will usually be kindnes and courtesy to newcomers. Munch organisers do realise that it takes courage however and will be very supportive.

my first munch visit was local and as there isn't a local spanking group it wa a BDSM group so I was nervous of being a lightweight! As I've written about previously, the BDSMers are lovely and gentle and kind in social setting.

Meeting folk from Britishspanking.com was easier because I had exchanged thoughts and ideas on noticeboards so I 'knew' some of them already on one level - like people with whom I exchange stuff here. I was there thinking "So, YOU'RE Little Weed/Macho Mitch/Saucy Sara/Whoever" I was getting "So YOU'RE Suzee Moon!"

Meeting my Cariad was like meeting a penpal one had learnt to trust over time. We 'knew' each other well. Like any blind date when we first met I made certain safety arrangements that one should in such circumstances. See advice on sites or personal ads for type of thing I mean.

On spanking sites, like other places there are some who expect you to be up for a meeting with no history, knowledge or back up. I consider such meetings if they happen to be foolhardy, but some like to take risks I suppose. I dislike the way that now this site reduces us to name, sex and age in online status which I think demeans us and encourages a lazines of communication.

I think it only fair to point out that single women tend to be more popular and trusted than single men to events because there is fear of 'swamping'. Munches tend to be very egalitarian and being 'known' via munches and activity on site noticeboards makes a welcome at events more likely if one wishes to attend such events. Also men who try to meet women via personals on such sites tend to be more successful if they communicate well and give an idea of who they are.

One of the things that did surprise me when single , was how hard it was to meet men. I wrote this on my site at the time:

Had an interesting chat with my ‘nilla friend Graham about the challenge of meeting appropriate men. We’d already decided that cyber dating spankers was akin to ‘other’ men. We talked about how some men would ignore everything written and write to women with whom there was no common ground and seemed particularly excited by geographical proximity. He summed it up as:
'Come round for a shag and pick up a loaf on the way - On second thoughts that's too much trouble - Just bring the bread and forget the shag!' Substitute spanking for shag and there you have it! Obviously as one of my best friends is male I’m not exactly anti-male, just a bit bemused and frustrated (emotionally!)

http://friendpages.com/p/pages/site/articles.cgi?who=UmFuZG9tSVasRXhxqRGkRR0W3AY7B2ZEJnkXkA0usPFecmveR/Yj3WHwp0Kpm_wMr/JFYteD5Df9PCEkCjl811IoT/mtgsjS9FccYxm3o3G4ExU/dubI/MQpiqE1J2q/dxSGFoVGQ29DHoP0DZtjop9voXLtI0QxjQeb_S8GFFSKTKeMjfnVnQqmd5j2dtFziBWPCjdij1k-&pageid=suzeemoon&id=388141

I've been quite expansive and widened topic as I hope others will find it of interest and/or useful.

Further questions welcome.
Suzee
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Ok...I realise that I don't know what readership others have, but I STILL find the top ten thingy on ths site confusing. I seem to be in when I have moderate amount of hits, and out when (by my standards) I have astonishingly high numbers. I sort of know about these spider thingies (see how technical I am?!), but I still find it one of life's mysteries. I understand there is an element of interaction as well and I have noticed long silly dialogues can 'bump one up'as can simply leaving and receiving lots of comments. I rememer a blog that was meant to be about paganism, but seemed to have little to say on actual topic. By offering to swap comments, however the blog seemed to shoot up the charts.

Anyone able to explain in non-techie lingo?
I know I could ask on enquiries bit of this site, but doing so does tend to log me out and I don't fancy hassle.

When did you discover spanking and why does it please you ?
Does writing erotica excite you ?

Thanks to davidjohn for the above question.

I had fantasies about spanking since childhood, but they were a mere vague excitement. I would invent spanking scenarios for my amusement and fascination, but did not see thoughts as sexual. This is what I wrote in an autobiographical piece:

I would imagine scenarios where handsome men meted out punishments to naughty girls or women. While these secret fantasies were thrilling I didn’t see them as sexual and I discovered my sexuality in a vanilla context. Actually progressing to intercourse through the tortuous stages of ‘courting’ were as much sexuality as I could handle. And yet in a separate little world the spanking thoughts were there.

As I became more sexually aware I realised sexual fantasy was part of the sexual experiencte.

At some point I decided there was more to this sex lark than what I got with my boyfriend and I knew women could enjoy themselves alone so I decided to experiment. No prizes for guessing my thoughts as I discovered the delights of solo masturbation. My youthful fantasies came flooding back with some wonderful additions. I now knew about sex; being spanked by any man was thrilling but being spanked by a lover or a man who would become my lover was the ultimate turn-on.

So the thoughts have been there since early childhood. I did have brief experience of realityin my thirties, but relationship ended and I entered a thirteen year relationship with lovely man who knew my fantasies, but somehow I think we were too inhibited to act on them.

I met my current partner through a spanking site and in last four years have truly discovered the joy of spanking.

I've no idea why it pleases me - I just seem to be 'that way' - The thought of spanking is utterly central to my sexuality although I receive pleasure at thought and reality of 'normal' sexual contact and behaviour.

Writing erotica does excite me and reading my own stuff does it for me as well. I keep reading that to get published one needs to write for a market but I remain stubbornly convinced there are women and men who are turned on by the things that work for me. Anecdotally, the feedback for my writing is positive and I seem to strike a chord (or something!) with fellow-spankos, but of course fantasy is very personal and my take won't be for everybody, even fellow-spankos.

Hope that answers your questions. Thanks for asking.
Suzee
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