I thought I'd check my tags and discovered I've been tagged as a disgusting pervert!
I seem to be the only one here though although I have plenty of company as 'gaseous clay' and 'lives in a goldfish bowl'!
I also seem to be the only person who is still barking - Woof!
It's a funny old world...

Still don't understand but delighted to be No.1 at the moment. As I said on Paddy's blog I do get drawn into ratings tartiness sometimes!

For new readers who'd like to get [ahem!*coughs*] to the heart of the matter I suggest you click on the 'spanking' tag on left hand side of the page. If you're less interested in feminism, books, what I had for my tea, the joys of Cardiff, Radio 4 etc you'll hopefully find this more interesting.

I have a rather static website (as I blog here) which contains my spanking writings and some background info if you'd like to visit. Link is on profile page and is:

http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/

I and some blog friends seem to have been spammed - 'Author' using a host of names and making random gnomic comment plus link to same website. I've deleted and not visited website on principle. This may be result of being in top ten so apologies to friends who may have got hit via connection with me.

The poster that I find so brilliant is now rather ancient, but still resonates. Hope you find it of interest. I also like their poster about being nude to get into major art galleries.

http://suzeemoon.blog.co.uk/?tag=guerilla%20girls

Menhir's comments on 'The Bookseller of Kabul' triggered thoughts of this novel for me. Below are bits I wrote about it a while back.

The Two Of Them (1986) was first published in 1978 and is based on the tale of Irene who is an agent of TransTemp. Irene and Ernst are employed to observe various cultures within the TransTemp jurastriction and 'rescue' anyone requiring it and willing to be rescued. And both Bookseller and Two of Us seem echoed in 'The Women's Room' which is my current reading matter.

The Two Of Them is the story of Irene's rescue of Zubeydeh, a would-be poet trapped in an openly oppressive patriarchal society. Irene, through her interaction with Zubeydeh, however, starts to question her own perceived freedom and discovers that she, too, is restricted. Irene then challenges Ernst, TransTemp and her own oppressive system which results in Zubeydeh and Irene becoming fugitives.

The Two Of Them is open to an ironic reading. The claustrophobic planet of Ala-ed-dean is distinctly Oriental with its dress; mythology of jinns and sultans; harems and Muslim history. The TransTemp agents appear to represent white liberalism:

'We can get you out of these rooms into a different world where you will not have to stay shut up and where you will not have to be medicated. It is, believe me, for all its faults, a better world'.
(Russ, 1986:102)
Irene's freedom, however, despite cultural difference is shown to be limited both in the private and public sphere. Zubeydeh points out to Irene that she does not really stand up to Ernst but always gives in.

When Irene challenges the system she discovers that it chooses to disempower her. She also learns that she was never given equal power with her male partner despite outward appearances.

The Two of Them shows how women are disempowered in both openly oppressive and apparently liberal regimes, thus giving us a more structured echo of themes explored in The Female Man. She also uses this text to echo her thoughts on literary criticism. In How To Suppress Women's Writing (1984) she shows the devices that prevent the acknowledgement of women as writers or artists. The methods of suppression outlined in this work of criticism take on flesh in The Two of Them. Zubeydeh is told she cannot be a poet because she is female. She is told that her aunt's 'madness' is the result of imagining she could write poetry. When Zubeydeh proves she can write poetry by doing so her father destroys them, saying they are worthless.

Lonemum's comments reminded me of this as I'd read it recently....

Who are you calling a virgin?
Sex surveys churn out the weirdest statistics, says Kathryn Flett
Sunday March 11, 2007
The Observer

Liar liar, control-pants on fire ... the recent news that 47 per cent of British middle-aged women report a 'tail-off in their sex drive' and that one in three women in their late forties and fifties 'doesn't think an active sex life is important' (the Times) had me thinking: can it really be as few as that?

I'm not one of those women for whom female-bonding inevitably involves discussing one's sex life over a cock(phwoaaar!)tail - I prefer a little sisterly mystery, to be honest, and the less I'm forced to think about my girlfriends' partners' private parts the better, frankly. But on the basis of practically no information whatsoever, backed up by a feel-it-in-my-waters sort of hunch, I'd guess there's an even higher percentage of British women d'un certain age who feel underwhelmed by the prospect of sex with their partners.

On the other hand, the results of Britain's biggest-ever sex survey, the British Sexual Fantasy Research Project, conducted by the psychotherapist Brett Kahr (Sex and the Psyche, Penguin) reveals that even if British women aren't doing it very much, they're sure as hell thinking about doing it. And, quite possibly, with Cliff Richard, who is a more popular object of sexual fantasy for Kahr's respondents than George Clooney. Hell and handcarts - other than the likelihood that when confronted by a YouGov questionnaire we have to lie our pants off - what does this say about us?

The survey is, as surveys are wont to be, statistic-tastic, but if you're anything like me, the more figures hurled in your direction, the more questions remain frustratingly unanswered.

'Ninety per cent of us think of someone else during sex' (really? Someone other than ourselves?), '56 per cent of women use pornography' (where do they get it? Can I have some?), 'Londoners enjoy sex less than Scots' (but perhaps enjoy sex with Scots even less) and '39 per cent of us fantasise about sex with a colleague'.

I should state that this is something I have never, ever done. Unless I found out that the colleague(s) I had obviously never fantasised about were also somehow never fantasising about me too, which is a pretty good fantasy in itself. See what I mean - never mind the sex, it's a semantic minefield.

And then the survey claims that 'as many as 18 per cent of adult Britons do not currently engage in sexual behaviour with a partner, which translates to approximately 8.1 million people'. Does this mean these people don't have a partner, or that they don't have sex with the partners they have? And how does that however-many-million-million break down, gender-wise?

And if as many as 32 per cent of British adults could be classified as low sexual frequency (less than once a month), 44 per cent as medium sexual frequency (between once monthly and twice weekly) and only 19 per cent as high sexual frequency practitioners (three times a week or more)', where does that leave the other five per cent, who don't quite fall into any of those categories either because they're so-'low'-as-to-not-actually-register-as-living, or so 'high' that they're sex workers? And how amusing that being off the scale at either end should make the having-it and having-it-nots have so much in common.

But the most interesting statistic for me is that among those who have had sexual relations in the past but do not have sexual contact with others at present, women outnumber men considerably (19 per cent of women compared to 12 per cent of men)', mostly because Mr Kahr has kindly provided us with this month's buzz-phrase: 'I have,' says Mr K, 'come to refer to this group of individuals who no longer practise sex as "neo-virgins".'

I love the idea of being a neo-virgin because the possibility of losing it all over again suddenly seems very exciting. No need this time to succumb to teen peer pressure, casually discarding last season's boring old virginity behind a sofa (and that William Morris upholstery has, incidentally, lingered longer in my memory than the act itself, provoking a lifetime's aversion to the Arts and Crafts movement). No, this time I'm going to come over all fundamentalist and precious, saving it for Someone Special who, if they ask me very, very nicely, ideally in a bloody great big suite at an Aman hotel, may get lucky enough to deflower an overweight, middle-aged mother of two. Lucky, lucky them!

So, having been there, faked it and fallen asleep on the damp patch for decades, the Neo-Vees know exactly what they're not looking for, though this won't necessarily work in their favour. By raising the bar too high at the very point in our lives when, what with the job and the kids and the inside of the fridge resembling a Richard Dadd, we'd probably be far too exhausted to hop into the sack with George Clooney, should he be sweet enough to ask, your average female Neo-Vee is more likely to join a Carmelite Order than she is to settle for the kind of rubbish retro-sex she's left behind.

This is presumably the point where Cliff, as it were, comes in, because any middle-aged woman who spent time with the Nancy Friday oeuvre at an impressionable age will attest to the fact that women have fabulously rich interior sex lives. Indeed, there are women out there who can achieve orgasm merely by touching the new issue of Elle Decoration

But seriously, women are still pretty handy with their heads, even if the flesh is unwilling or unable, and of course fantasy practise makes perfect. Personally, I suspect that the 47 per cent (and I bet it's nearer 67 per cent) of British middle-aged women who have 'tailed-off' have simply swapped their dreary day-to-day sexual reality-checks for a far more fulfilling fantasy life, with or without the Bachelor Boy.

http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/relationships/story/0,,2028582,00.html

Before I became a blogger I put together a simple website. I like blogging because I find I like the interactivity and community feel to it. It's nice to be spontaneous and write about other stuff as well. Website is good because stuff is easy to find and is good place to show samples of writing. It's at:
http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/
I've been disappointed that nobody comments on guestbook so decided to leave a message there myself. I then discovered that I now have to 'accept' messages before they're displayed and I had several messages waiting! I was dead chuffed! I'm assuming this is new feature to prevent abuse and/or spamming. I've been quite lucky here. I've had odd bits of spamming when in Top Ten, but nothing not easy to remove.

Just some silliness....

I've been listening to 'The Women's Room' on radio 4 and being reminded of the roots of the seventies wave of feminism and thought I may write about it. I also felt inspired to reread the book.
Meanwhile I was stopped in my tracks by Mira's masochistic fantasies that so mirrored my own in content and background

…a lot of [magazines] had pictures of women in black underwear, on them; or women chained up and naked and a man standing over them with a whip. In the movies too, these things happened. Not just the ones at the Emporium, the theater she and her friends were not allowed to go to, although there were pictures like that in the cases outside, but even in regular movies, sometimes the hero would spank the heroine, who before that was fresh and talked back, like Mira herself. He would come bursting through a door and pull her over his knee and she would yell, but after that she would adore him, she would follow him with her eyes and obey him submissively, and you knew she loved him forever. It was called conquest and surrender, and a man did one and a woman did the other, and everybody knew it.

These things crept into her imagination as her hands crept about her body as she lay in bed: it was perhaps inevitable that there would be a meeting of elements. Her first experiments with what she did not know until years later was called masturbation were inept, but incredibly titillating. She was drawn to continue bravely in them, terrified about what she might be doing to her body, but charging boldly onward. And invariably her mind, as she probed and rubbed, was drawn to what she did not know until years later were called masochistic fantasies. She grasped at any material, and there was never a dearth. History lessons about the treatment of women in China, the laws of England before the twentieth century, or the customs of Moslem countries would provide her with weeks of new fantasies. Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors, and plays by Romans, Greeks, and Englishmen offered visions of worlds where such things were permitted. And there were lots of movies like Gone With The Wind, or movies with Nazis invading a little town in the Netherlands and taking over the big house in which lived the daughter of the man who owned it, or with mean men, like James Mason, threatening beautiful women. Even lesser scenes could serve to trigger the alert imagination.

She would choose a culture, a time and place, and embroider all the surroundings. At the center, there had to be a power struggle. Years later, when she finally encountered pornographia, she found it tedious and dull compared to her own brilliant fantasies with their stages, costumes, and the intense power struggle. She realized after hundreds of hours of mind~wandering down corridors of male cruelty toward women that the real ingredient of her titillation was humiliation, and that a power struggle was necessary. Her female characters might be noble and brave, spunky, tough, or helpless and passive but resentful, but they had to put up a fight. Her male characters were always the same, though: arrogant, convinced of male supremacy, and cruel, but always intensely involved. with the female. Her submission is the most important thing in the world them, and worth any effort. Since he holds all the power, the only way she can defy him is to resist. Yet the moment of surrender itself, the instant of orgasm, always seemed to Mira a surrender of both characters. At that moment, all the fear and hate the female character felt turned to love and gratitude; and she knew that male character must feel the same way. For that time, power was annulled and all was harmonized.

But if Mira fantasized masochistically, she did not act so. She recognized that there was a large difference between life and art. In the movies and in her fantasies, the things that were done to the heroine hurt but did not hurt. They left no scars. She felt no hatred for the hero afterwards. But that was not so in life. In life such things would hurt and scar and build up incredible hatred. Mr. Willis beat Mrs. Willis, but she was so thin and frail and had teeth missing and hunched-over shoulders and she looked at her husband with blank eyes. Mira could not imagine Mr. Willis who was also rather thin and frail lank, acting like Rhett Butler. And both Mr. and Mrs. Mittlow were large and bossy. He had glasses and she had a broad stiff bosom and they lived in an immaculate house and talked about their neighbors and their automobile. Even if she jumped when he spoke, Mira could not imagine him chaining her up and torturing her.
It was sex itself, Mira decided, that was the humiliation. That was why she had such thoughts. Two years ago she had been her own person, her mind was her own, a clear clean space for the working out of clear, clean, and interesting problems. Mathematics had been fun, an elaborate puzzle, and people had been unwelcome distractions from the play of mind.

Unlike Mira I didn't discover masturbation for many years and I think I was more sexually dormant, but the romantisisation of the spanking moment sums it up for me. I am fascinated by her articulation:

Yet moment of surrender itself, the instant of orgasm, always seemed to Mira a surrender of both characters. At that moment, all the fear and hate the female character felt turned to love and gratitude; and she knew that male character must feel the same way. For that time, power was annulled and all was harmonized.

I think that's absolutely what I thought/felt/imagined but I'd not worked it out so articulately. I find the idea that the idealised surrender/spanking is strangely harmonious and annuls power makes emotional sense to me in fantasy and desire and (luckily!) reality.

And of course, seeing the source of the fantasies so laid out reminds me of my concerns re internalised oppression and why it was so difficult to embrace my erotic masochism for so long.

As said before I now accept what I am, and do not lose sleep over the why and how, but I still find it all intriguing and interesting. Just realised - Mira like me had no experience of corporal punishment or such treatment in reality underpinning the onset of fantasies.

Spanking like sex, tends to be wild, frequent and go on for ever when in the honeymoon period of a relationship. So problems sitting down could result from either in the early days.

Life, the universe, work, illness and everything seem to have conspired recently to keep my Cariad and I either apart or too busy for much indulgence as it were.
We have seen each other several times this week, but not really had playtime opportunity when both able to be awake at the same time.

Today we had what I call a date day, so we made a bit of an effort to have some 'quality time' together.
When we have periods of lots of activity we worry about 'upping the ante' where I develop a hide like a rhinoceros and he gets repetitive strain injury and/or falls asleep in the middle of spanking me! Luckily it doesn't happen and we are newly surprised by either how well I cope after a period of abstinence, or conversely how quickly I can be made to squeal, hiss or swear (depending on mood and ambience)when we get to play lots.

A lot has to do with headspace and I guess various biorhythms. On spanking sites people have commented on varied sensitivity dependent on menstrual cycle, but it's not something I'd noticed personally.

Anyway we had a lovely time together. I seemed pretty resilient despite long break, but I seemed to get marked easily, which we rather like as we find it sexy. I know some worry about marks (especially those playing illicitly!) but like many people I can have quite dramatic reddening and stripes of the cane for a short while, but they quickly fade.

I think my Ann Summers cane is getting a bit past it, so I may have to look for a replacement! It's already been shortened once after losing its tip but it's quite handy for [ahem!] close attention...

I sometimes try to imagine the type of 'spankos' existing fictional characters might be. This couple were triggered by a pair of fictional characters I don't particularly like and despite making him up, I find my hero a bit of a creep!
That said, I find idea and reality of talking about spanking very erotic and it gets included in a lot of my stories as prelude to actual spanking. The idea of discussing spanking while receiving other attention I think is very exciting.

Steif gave my joking comment some serious thought and said perhaps that was the answer – perhaps confession and punishment would circumvent the impasse. He seemed to know quite a bit about religious practices and said that confession, penance and atonement were seen as psychologically useful.
He then eyed me speculatively and said:
“I can see the sense of you submitting to agreed penance. As well as giving us a way past your occasional immaturities I could rather enjoy meting out my lady’s punishment as well as her pleasure.”
I was embarrassed but rather thrilled by the look in his eye and the sudden sexiness of his tone. Despite my chagrin I was quite excited by the turn the conversation had taken. We’d gone from the possibility of ending the relationship to him talking about pleasuring his lady. I was understandably rather worried about the punishment bit, though. When I blushingly asked him about it he asked if I trusted him and if he knew me better than anyone else did. I readily agreed.
“Well, My Lady Eleanor, you are an intelligent, capable woman but sometimes the demons drive you into a childishness we both know is unacceptable. As your most loyal love and willing servant I am pledged to your pleasure and service. We both know I am the one to minister to your needs and sometimes you obviously require discipline as well as pleasure. I will provide both. When we agree you deserve chastisement I will administer the discipline and once you’ve paid, I will of course ensure you are rewarded for your repentance.”
I shivered at the look in his eye. I had to ask.
“How would I be punished?”
He laughed.
“Well, sweet lady I can hardly ground you as our trans-Atlantic cousins so charmingly call it. I think,” he murmured stroking back my hair “it would have to be physical chastisement, wouldn’t it, Lady Eleanor?”
With another shiver I asked him what he meant.
“Oh, my darling, we both know exactly what I mean. We always know each other’s meaning, don’t we? I mean, sweet Ellie, that when we decide you need it I shall bend you over and give that pretty behind of yours some very special attention. When her ladyship behaves badly I will give her an old-fashioned smacked bottom. “
He held my eye with that look he gave when we made love.
“Yes,” he smiled at me, “I would very much enjoy being your disciplinarian as well as your lover”, he added thoughtfully and I knew that despite my foreboding this conversation was leading to my pleasure.
“We would of course have to discuss your behaviour and the appropriate ‘penance’ each time. I would enjoy putting you over my knee for a spanking when you’ve been particularly truculent. I can see though, you will sometimes require a sounder thrashing. I will have to think about getting suitable equipment for beating my fair lady’s charming bottom.”
I became aware of Steif stroking my neck and breasts as he whispered in my ear,
“And of course we would have to decide whether to draw down your under garments or not… I suspect, though, you would often require chastising on your bare bottom, Eleanor… And sometimes…”
unbuttoning my blouse and between kissing my neck and shoulders
“…sometimes you will bend over for me and sometimes you will take down your own under garments and sometimes…”
between butterfly kisses over my breasts and pushing down my blouse
“…sometimes I will have to bend you over to thrash you. Sometimes you will be compliant but sometimes when you’ve been particularly trying, although you will know you deserve the most severe chastisement you will find it hard to submit to your confessor. And sometimes your devoted lover will have to hold you down for such a thrashing, Ellie; and you will think you hate him. But oh, my darling, you’d feel so cleansed and he’d give you such pleasure… That’s why we both know you’re going to give your devoted servant responsibility for your punishment as well as your pleasure, are you not, my love?”
And as he removed my blouse and bra to pay devoted lip service to my aching nipples I would defy any woman in such a position to do anything but accept Steif’s loyal attention as both lover and confessor.
As he gently bit my throat, shoulders and breasts I gave in to his command over me.
“Oh, my lady I can see you need all my attention, but we now have a minor problem,” he chuckled throatily, “You see, my angel, your behaviour last time we met was insupportable and you’ve done nothing to earn your absolution and the pleasure I know you require. I think the Lady Eleanor needs to honour her promise and have her bottom smacked.”
I was weak with desire and realised that despite his matching lust Steif was made of sterner stuff. I knew the ache in my nipples and the one between my thighs would not be soothed without the submission he was now demanding. I also knew that I had to freely enter fully into our pact if I was ever to get the sweet release only Steif could deliver.
He stopped his ministration and smiled at me.

I think the short story is fabulous medium for spanking. My Cariad thought he'd got interest in my collections of stories only for the publisher to decide they wanted short novels after all.
I know that the publishers are supposed to know their market, but there seems to be danger of formulaic thinking. May be safe but reminds me of expression 'If you do what you always do, you'll get what you always get'.
I've read some good spanking novels, but all one can do in a novel is up the ante, and personally I don't find that especially sexy. The subby journey is interesting, but not the only way to go. Spankos may get more sub/Dom(me)or not. Like others may or may not turn into swingers or whatever.
For me there is excitement around first experiences and this can be done in hundreds of ways and is suited to short story format.
Also such literature is used to enhance and supplement fantasy and the short story is perfect fodder for fantasy.
I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and consider writing something to fit perceived market or try self-publishing. Ho hum...

For some reason Trolly talking about turn of century America made me think of an English novel by Zoe Fairbairns called 'Stand We At last'.

http://www.enotes.com/contemporary-literary-criticism/fairbairns-zoe-ann

Zoë (Ann) Fairbairns 1948–

English novelist.

Fairbairns is a feminist writer whose novels examine from both a historical and a contemporary perspective the inequalities and difficulties women have faced. She has been commended for creating strong characters, male and female, who reflect women's struggles, and for avoiding being didactic or simplistic.

Benefits (1976) is a futuristic story set in the closing years of the twentieth century, when women are subject to compulsory birth control. As an Orwellian government attempts to institutionalize motherhood, selective breeding begins and women's role in society is vastly reduced. Benefits has been praised as a meaningful political fable, and Fairbairns is recognized for her skill in balancing her characters.

Stand We at Last (1983) has been called Fairbairns's most accomplished novel. This work follows five generations of English women through their struggles to gain personal and political freedom. Elizabeth Grossman asserted that Fairbairns tried to cover too many topics and failed to explore the passing time periods in depth, but other critics applauded Fairbairns's historical research and declared that Stand We at Last was a convincing portrait of women's issues over the last hundred years.

http://www.zoefairbairns.co.uk/novels.htm

STAND WE AT LAST
This family saga, first published in 1983 and still available through print-on-demand, follows five generations of women, from the mid-19th century to the 1970s. "Travels a long way in time and space. gives a resume of the last hundred years of women's struggle for emancipation, while telling a rattling good tale." (Times Literary Supplement)

http://www.briefbio.com/pages/4304/Fairbairns-Zo-Ann.html

Despite her preoccupation with the present lot of women, Fairbairns seems more at home when writing about the future or the past. Nowhere is this more evident than in Stand We at Last, perhaps the most ambitious of her novels. In her own words "a family saga with a feminist background," it traces the lives of a succession of women, starting in 1855 with the adventurous Sarah who emigrates to Australia hoping to make her fortune as a farmer, and ending with Jackie, a single parent living on a hippie commune in 1970s England. As in her other books, the writer remains true to the genre she has chosen: all of Life is present in this 600-page saga—births, suicides, miscarriages, abortions, raised hopes, dashed ambitions—not to mention love, passion, and sexual guilt. But this is no ordinary rags-to-riches saga; as in all Fairbairns's novels, ambitions are spiritual rather than material; children and men seem to be the rocks on which women's ambitions founder; and in order to break out of the cycle set up by her predecessors, the modern heroine must give up her man rather than get him in the end.

I found this piece by Barbara Ellen rather interesting. I find her very liberal in her views, but this take on: "young girls splashing their pocket money around in high-street stores in the sinister race to resemble hardened New York hookers, to men's magazines festooned with tits and arse that fail to climb to the top shelf but instead nestle alongside The Beano and Thomas the Tank Engine" echoes the disquiet I've been trying to express.
I think it's obvious I'm all for openness and discussion of sexuality and think erotica can be very positive - but as said - it's the pornifying of everyday culture I don't like.

Ladies of the garter

As Ann Summers takes tea with the Queen, it seems everyone is giving soft porn the hard sell

Barbara Ellen
Sunday March 4, 2007
The Observer

It was interesting to observe the low-level media furore at the news of Jacqueline Gold - the Ann Summers MD - appearing on the list of British businesswomen who were to go to Buckingham Palace to meet the Queen. Though not as interesting as hearing of the reaction of the Queen herself. The royal standby 'And what do you do?' could have spelled disaster. Did Gold take along her bestseller, the Rampant Rabbit vibrator? Was there polite discussion of the 'knob chair', the charming Ann Summers seating item, complete with engorged phallus? Or was HM content to sip on Earl Grey and hear about their competitively priced, wipe-clean PVC nurses' outfits?

According to Gold there was none of this. She says the Queen recognised her company badge with 'a twinkle in her eye'. Some have scoffed at Gold's account, though I don't see why. It could be that being played to award-winning standard by saucepot Helen Mirren has widened the Queen's horizons. Or perhaps, after Diana (affairs), Fergie (toe-sucking) and Charles (wanting to become Camilla's tampon), it takes more than meeting the purveyor of tubs of chocolate body paint to rattle the royal tiara.

Indeed, taking into account the Windsors' background, in this historic meeting between the Queen of England and the Queen of High Street Sleaze it's hard to work out who should have been left feeling the most 'dirty and used'. What was more interesting in the end was the very fact of Gold joining Britain's other successful businesswomen at the Palace, signalling yet another sea change in public attitudes and begging the question: has 'soft porn' finally become so soft it has all but dissolved into the foam of culture itself?

I once interviewed Jacqueline Gold. Instead of the porn baroness of popular imagination, the writhing high-street sex-pot, I found a soft-voiced, hard-nosed businesswoman who believed she was ushering in enlightened attitudes to sex, particularly on behalf of women. All very interesting. Then I ruined it all by visiting one of her stores. Talk about an Aladdin's cave of tat. I still get nervous giggles thinking about the sales assistant imploring me to 'hold the shaft' of the Rampant Rabbit. (Damn thing nearly hopped away.) And if being inclined to sit on a 'knob chair' means you are 'sexually enlightened' may I forever remain frigid. Saying that, it struck me that there was very little in Ann Summers that was actually 'shocking' - nothing one hadn't seen elsewhere. In fact, compared with a lot on offer, Ann Summers could be criticised for being rather under-pornographic.

Could it be that we're so routinely 'sexed up' in Britain these days that not even our most infamous sex shop is kinky enough to get us going? One thing is for sure, soft porn must be hard work these days - the most difficult thing of all to sell because it's already out there. Everywhere. For Free. From young girls splashing their pocket money around in high-street stores in the sinister race to resemble hardened New York hookers, to men's magazines festooned with tits and arse that fail to climb to the top shelf but instead nestle alongside The Beano and Thomas the Tank Engine.

It says something that even throwaway art, such as pop videos, the Kleenexes of popular culture, are increasingly heaving with the kind of sex mere mortals expect maybe once a year, on their birthdays. In his new video, 'What Goes Around', Justin Timberlake spends a great deal of time putting up with Scarlett Johansson rubbing her breasts all over him (poor man). The point is this: a soft-porn extravaganza by anybody's standards is there, for free, in a pop video. Therefore, what need do we have of an actual soft-porn industry?

Indeed, the true psychosexual sea change in Britain may be less of an 'enlightening', more a lazy blurring of boundaries: right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, fun and dodgy, all thrown together without much thought beyond the holy grail of What Sells. Indeed, it may be that for all Ms Gold's considerable business achievements, and her hard-won meeting with the Queen, it is not really that Ann Summers has gained 'boring respectability', rather that the rest of us have lost it.

· barbara.ellen@observer.co.uk

Further thoughts on spanking and porn.

http://suzeemoon.blog.co.uk/2006/10/18/porn_and_spanking_part_2_serious_rather_~1237053

Thought I'd post link as it connects to my thoughts on Spice Girls, raunch culture etc...

http://suzeemoon.blog.co.uk/2006/10/16/porn_and_spanking_part_1_serious_rather_~1229223

Further thoughts on feminism and such - here's piece I wrote on raunch culture

http://suzeemoon.blog.co.uk/?tag=raunch%20culture

This is piece I posted in October. I noticed feminism is being discussed again and I don't want to get into debate elsewhere, but wanted my perspective on feminism to be available as well.
If you want to know more of my thoughts on feminism just click on feminism tag at side

Why I'm a Feminist

My neighbour had excellent reasons not to be a feminist - she wasn’t like the women at Greenham Common, she believed in Conservative values of non-intervention of the state and she didn’t wear dungarees. She did however complain about being judged by her hair colour (blonde), size (higher than twelve) and sex (female) and hated being patronised for any of the above. But no, she was pretty certain she wasn’t a feminist… Identikit feminist has a lot to answer for.

As well as men and non-feminists I happen to have friends who did support Greenham Common, wear dungarees, love their Doc Martens, hate bras (I’ve yet to meet a bra burner but I can only deal with so many myths at one sitting), are vegetarian, are lesbian (political or otherwise) and/or wear dangly ear-rings… found your stereotype yet?

So where does this leave me? I’ve been a feminist “of sorts” since my teens. Of course I believed in equal pay and equal treatment but had no idea of “the personal is the political” until much later. The equal pay legislation that came into being during my teens made perfect sense to me. The idea however, that women may have had babies because of societal norms, pressures or expectations had not occurred to me in the seventies. In my infinite wisdom I knew marriage was all about love and that having babies were a personal choice. I was aware that the world of work was inflexible but to my shame saw this as their problem and not society’s. I lacked the insight to realise the basic injustice towards mothers wanting or needing to enter the world of paid work.

And feminism since the seventies? We’ve had campaigns, applied our “This image degrades women” stickers, complained about “girlie” calendars in the workplace and demanded our dignity as customers and workers. There are anti-sexist policies and some builders follow a code of non-harassment and wouldn’t dream of whistling or commenting on our bodies. We are, apparently ‘post-feminist’. It seems that a Spice Girl showing her knickers and pinching the bottom of the heir of the throne is “girl power” and “ladettes” as well as blondes have more fun… And it seems we can be really liberated by raunch culture, look like sex workers and learn to pole dance...

So why does it seem to me that “post-feminism” and “post-modernism” are just an intellectual con trick to get to to get our tits out for the lads? I am uneasy with the censorship of willing adults indulging in willing behaviour. I can appreciate the “Page 3 Stunna’s” “right” to take off her top and Sophie Dahl’s “choice” to pose naked and advertise perfume but Page 3 and Sophie on a billboard make me uncomfortable. These women are far from “victims” but I hate seeing their bodies and others displayed “for general consumption”. Like the sticker said, I feel the images degrade us as women although I think Sophie looks lovely – I’d just rather not see her displayed in such a public setting.

In our new millennium I am eternally grateful for the pioneering and determined women who have paved the way for me and others. I don’t believe that as a woman I have equality any more than those who are disabled or from ethnic minorities have now achieved “equality” through legislation. The advancement, rights and freedoms I do have, nonetheless, are remarkable and hard-earned progress. I can, however, still be angered, crushed or astonished on a regular basis:

*A recent piece of research revealed a woman was more likely to be successful in a job interview if she seemed “demure” and “non-pushy”. Men were rewarded with success at interviews for being (surprise, surprise!) “bold and confident”. This was regardless of the nature of the job and the interviewers were personnel staff of both sexes.

*A significant number of teenage boys feel that girls have now got too many advantages and life is unfair to boys.

*Some “religious” Kenyan males find women in trousers so “offensive” that they strip the women who wear them in public.

*The use of semi-clad “glamorous” women is once again selling peanuts. The women are revealed in their semi-dressed state as more packets of peanuts are removed from the backing card. What was it I was saying about the seventies?

*Abortion rights are still felt to be under threat in the USA

*Selective abortion has led to shortages of available brides in parts of India.

* There is a need to separate and guard women in refugee camps because otherwise they are routinely raped (See Oxfam reports)

* *Worldwide domestic violence is biggest cause of female death (See Oxfam reports)

(These are just a few of the news stories on which I’ve recently picked up in recent years that caused me to scream at the newspaper, radio or T.V.)

As an educated white woman with a working class heritage, living in Wales I count my blessings and appreciate my privileges while feeling anger at such injustices. I am aware of how disadvantaged women remain in Wales, the UK and globally, as do other groups. I constantly see mostly men and a few women in positions of power and influence.

When I worked as a manager my peers were usually male, apparently heterosexual, usually married, looked white and appeared to have no noticeable disabilities.

Social work and education remain mainly female occupations but there are still few role models in power. The fact that so many women still do not have a higher profile appears to be a sociological statement that tells us something about British and Welsh organisations.

I know that many women choose not to seek a higher profile in the workplace and many are happy to do the invaluable work of bringing up their children or working independently or working on a voluntary basis, but I believe that the powerbrokers and boardrooms are not a welcoming place to many of us.

I too, am familiar with the rhetoric and fuzzy assumptions that all jobs are open to women, people with disabilities, those from ethnic minority backgrounds and any of us who are “different”. I have witnessed the vague puzzlement at why such people are not yet at “top table” – the easy assumptions that “they” or we simply don’t want to be there or "they"/ we’d apply. I have seen the equal mystification when those who are “different” leave. To me this is summarised well, by Joanna Russ in her comments on bad faith:

To act in a way that is both sexist and racist, to maintain one’s class privilege, it is only necessary to act in the customary, ordinary, usual, even polite manner. Nonetheless I doubt that any of us who does so is totally without the knowledge that some thing is wrong.
(How to Suppress Women’s Writing)

It is this knowledge that something is wrong that makes it important to me that I claim the proud, though sometimes burdensome, frustrating and exhausting badge of my feminism.

Call myself a feminist? Yes