Thanks to Timsuzi for questions.

How much interest did you get from it? How did you sort out the wheat from the chaff? And how scary is it to meet when you only know them from cyber? Were you worried that you could get stuck in a situation that it was hard to withdraw from?

I wasn't looking to meet with ad so no problems. My 'safe' cyber flirtation with my Cariad however, grew and I knew I just had to meet him. We'd exchanged so many emails and had been chatting on phone for a while that it felt very safe. When we split up, however, I advertised looking for possible encounters as a single woman and that was very frustrating...
This is what I wrote about it:

There are a lot of disenchanted men out there who are finding it difficult to find women who regularly moan at BSC and I understand that non-professional parties are rather under-subscribed by women. I’m not having a moan, but just want to say that women have to make a considerable effort as well.

I have found that only wanting to be intimate with single men has been seen as discriminatory and downright picky by men married to vanilla partners. I absolutely don’t have a problem with men or women getting spanking and/or sex elsewhere – I just don’t want to be the one providing it!

Being a polite sort I have responded to over a hundred and fifty messages, most of whom don’t write back or stop writing with no explanation. The only message that went unanswered by me was from someone who chose to insult me. I have told a reasonable proportion of men that I believe we have little in common, and some men on further reflection have been polite enough to tell me “Thanks, but no, thanks”, which I appreciate. I’ve been told this sudden silence is also typical in vanilla cyber.

I have also provided lots of information to both promote myself as a writer and as a single spankee looking to meet people. I have also placed thoughtful and detailed ads in various places, so respondents should know what to expect – To paraphrase someone else’s witticism (Thanks Daihard!) I don’t want to be trotted around Merthyr or suspended from the Newport Transporter Bridge!

As I’ve said I’m not complaining, but pointing out that meeting people is a challenge for all of us.

At a later date I also wrote:

Had an interesting chat with my male ‘nilla friend G about the challenge of meeting appropriate men. We’d already decided that cyber dating spankers was akin to ‘other’ men. We talked about how some men would ignore everything written and write to women with whom there was no common ground and seemed particularly excited by geographical proximity. He summed it up as:
'Come round for a shag and pick up a loaf on the way - On second thoughts that's too much trouble - Just bring the bread and forget the shag!' Substitute spanking for shag and there you have it! Obviously as one of my best friends is male I’m not exactly anti-male, just a bit bemused and frustrated (emotionally!)

I am delighted to be back with my Cariad. And coincidentally my friend G met a lovely woman and he and N have now been together for three years.

I feel there are an awful lot of time-wasters and fantasists out there. I have no problem with fantasy, but people should be honest about what is fantasy and what is reality.

I do know that there are timewasters of both sexes, but these are my experiences.

I did meet some nice men when cyber-dating, but very few considering the amount who made initial contact. I was always very clear on 'no commitment' and always met as friends for social meeting and made sure someone knew where I was. As I only wanted to meet men who could string words together an exchange of info via emails followed by phone conversations meant that men I met were as expected, but of course no accounting for chemistry. Luckily the commonality explored made it OK to not fancy each other, without too much upset.