My stats are mad again! Are we being invaded by the spider-bots again? Just me or others as well? Unusually it seems to be two days running...

I think writing about not doing stuff was helpful. I made several phonecalls and wondered about a 'to do' list. I used to keep A4 book with sort of log at front and 'to do' lists at back. I also had 'rebellion list' I'd forgotten about - Acknowledgement of things I should do, but often didn't or did badly like watering my plants, taking antihystemines, eating properly and stuff. Fascinating re-read as last entries were when I was saving and planning to buy a house ten years ago, so lots has changed. I've been in house some years, lost a parent, left a relationship, become less allergic, given up full-time work, became computer-literate, written three books worth of short stories, had a few modest pieces published and become a spanko as well as goodness knows what else.

I did look into proofing my 'straight' book and sussed out the Lulu printing thing again. I had actually fully proofed the book, just not incorporated changes - I did so for about third of book this morning, so feeling quite pleased with myself.

I'm rather happy with my life, but like many I have unrealised ambitions. I do something about these 'ambitions' but in a half-hearted way. My friend G and I decided a while ago that if we were to be 'successes' in life, we'd have to be so single-minded we'd be different people! I think it probably is possible to get what you really, really want if you have a certain level of practical security and are very single-minded. I'm not and I don't want to be, so I chip away at stuff and hope it will fall into place.

My current life suits me. I have my Cariad and enough friendship, pleasure and financial security for contentment. I would however like to be generating more paid work in my chosen field and I would like to be getting published. I make some efforts on both fronts, but lack of 'hunger' perhaps stops me trying harder.

On the work front I have put together a website so I have confidence to promote myself professionally. I am about to take on some low-earning, but steady work for a few months, so I think I can justify not going for a further push on the publicity front - Or I could be just reassuring myself and condoning my own laziness! I have a few other bits of work which are higher profile and/or better income-generators so I don't think I have to be too hard on myself. Excuses? Me?!

With writing it's quite hard to motivate myself until I feel I can take a next step. My plans to be the spanking world's JK Rpwling seem rather far off. I've written a book of 'straight' stories and two books of spanking stories. I get ideas for spanking stories on a very regular basis but it is hard to motivate myself to write more until I get to do something with stuff already written. All new material is intended for a bigger project which is a book on spanking that combines fiction and reality. I am excited by idea, but not enough to keep writing!

Ages ago I solicited views on self-publishing and got as far as having my book of straight fiction produced as a one-off via Lulu - http://www.lulu.com/uk While it was great to have physical copy of my writing I was able to see what was wrong with format etc, started proofing and never got round to finishing and getting some 'good' copies. I think I need to do this and then get some physical copies of my two collections of spanking stories similarly made up, having completed process with straight stuff.

Perhaps now I've written it down, I may get the enthusiasm back and go for it. Or not! I guess like many of us here I wonder whether blogging and other cyber activities are keeping my hand in with the writing or displacement activities...

*Faffy and Bitsy ©Lonemum

Faffy added a touch of sparkle to her alluring cleavage and glanced at her gorgeous burlesque partner Bitsy applying her final slick of lipgloss. How had they got here, she wondered once more straightening her fishnet stocking and remembering her dear Grandmama's dying words...

(to be continued...or not? )

*Based on inspiration from Lonemum

Hmmm..... Not sure about this.... [looks around worriedly]
Is it me, or is the emphasis on the bloggers (and reduced to age/sex/location) rather than the blogs?
Looks slick, but is s-l-o-w and front page seems more like Friends Reunited or a dating site something. Not impressed so far.

As Lonemum thought - There ARE people who like idea of police cells! Actually it is very nice venue and I visited in my single days, so I thought I'd give Ron and friends a plug (free ad rather than other kind )

Event :
ADDRESS:
Private Club - Newport, South Wales

TIME: 9:00 PM - 2:00 AM

WEB:
www.BDSM-Wales.org.uk

Held in a private dungeon just outside Cardiff. The venue itself is amazing. As with all CellBound nights, rules will apply, and they will be limiting the numbers of people to what they deem to be a comfortable amount. Booking is STRICTLY advanced bookings only, the venue itself will not be advertised anywhere, the only way to find it is through booking. Please note.....this is NOT a swingers night, its pure BDSM play in a friendly non-threatning environment. Cost: A donation of £10 pp to cover costs DressCode: strict fetish dress code, email them if your unsure what to wear.

Contact: crue1b4st4rd@btinternet.com
or phone 07815861521

When I was single and looking I did once have a letter from a man in North Wales with his own dungeon!

I was joking with lonemum about dungeons (as you do!)and was reminded of a letter I once received.When I was single nearly twenty years ago I decided to advertise to meet someone who may share my kink. While I was open-minded and well-read around sexuality I had no experience of discussing my kink and very scratchy (no pun intended!) idea of what I thought of as sado-masochism. The following is a fictionalised version of a response I got to an ad hoping to meet a fellow-spanko. in my short story felicity is vanilla (non-kinky)but very broad-minded and she works in the sexual advisory field.

Mandy found it strange to equate those words with herself despite the fact she’d so carefully chosen them – and that was before she got the replies!
Receiving that first large, plain brown envelope terrified and excited her. In theory as the advertiser she was in control. No one knew who she was and she would decide what to do with her replies, but having letters from unknown men arrive on her doormat felt very strange. The large brown envelope contained a collection of assorted envelopes addressed to the PO Box and also her ‘unique PIN from ‘Explorations’’. She sat and pondered the mystery of her assorted envelopes and decided to open them in the order they were placed in the larger envelope.

The first one was neatly word processed on a good quality long white envelope – an L.W.E. – she had a vague recollection that L.W.E.’s were the things that were supposed to contain the glad tidings when you won a competition. She wondered idly if this was a winner as she carefully slit the envelope.

The letter was also word processed on a couple of standard white A4 sheets. As she read the contents in growing astonishment and mirth she wondered if the letter, too, was the writer’s ‘standard’. It contained no reference to her ad but waxed enthusiastically about the writer’s fully equipped dungeon, discretion and secluded location. ‘Dungeon Maestro’ explained he was a member of his local bondage/sub-dom/s-m group and was fully into safe sex and safe word codes. As an educator in the field it was good to know that Dungeon Maestro was so sensible and she knew enough about the fetish scene to know that this was not unusual. She suspected that her correspondent was likely to be a less risky ‘date’ in many ways than many men met more conventionally. She did, however, wonder if his other ‘pen pals’ would have realised this. It could be pretty frightening if she was less knowledgeable. He hardly sounded like the ‘fascinating, friendly fellow’ she requested though. His willingness to be sub or dom gave her a choice she chose not to exercise. Other than the odd bite or scratch or occasional quick, rough fuck she liked her sex leisured and pain free. The idea of bossing around a man and wearing sexy underwear and boots had some appeal but she couldn’t really see herself as a successful dominatrix. Typically the ‘sexpert’ she started to wonder why he went to the trouble of writing to advertisers like herself who gave no hint of such an interest. It seemed a waste of effort and money even if it was a standard letter as she suspected (the only personal bit being the ‘Dear Felicity’ at the top). That was a strange idea – a standard sexual fetish blind-date letter! It sure beat her standard C.V. she thought to herself. Perhaps there were advertisers out there who shared his desires but were not brave enough to advertise their fantasies as freely as Dungeon Maestro. She wondered idly how often he struck lucky. With his willingness to ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ he doubled his chances she supposed, when compared with a correspondent who had only one string to his bow rather than D.M.’s two. Re-reading her ad she suddenly wondered if there were people out there who equated feminists as dominatrix – Surely not?! One to check out at work perhaps…

As those of you who are familiar with my history will know I've not been an 'out'and active spanko until fairly recently. My tentative approach to find a like-minded lover resulted in meeting a lovely vanilla man and a marvellous thirteen-year relationship, so my forays into this world are relatively recent, but I am doing my best to make up for lost time.

I note that I suddenly have lots of readers which I assume is due to being in top ten - it can be self-perpetuating. if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask. If anyone would rather not be identified its possible to pose question as 'visitor' or send a private message to me via this blogsite I'll respond on the blog.

Thank you to all my readers,
Suzee
xxx

Is the above:
a) One of the greatest philosophical questions of all time
b) Something to be discussed only in the wee small hours after a student party and before CC yells "We're all going to die!"
c) A question for all bloggers tapping away or browsing, especially if (as in Cardiff) the rain has finally stopped for five minutes!

Discussing censorship and boundaries (voluntary or otherwise)with Menhir got me thinking about original motivation, so I checked out first blog

http://suzeemoon.blog.co.uk/2005/10/12/where_to_start_and_the_odd_mention_of_sp~231372

Still seems reasonable to me, but very aware that this little cyber-world of ours does have a life of it's own.

Just been thinking about last post and stuff around power exchange and living that way. It is alien to me, but I see it as just a choice or compulsion as powerful as mine re spanking.

There is a lovely concept of 'your kink, not my kink, but OK' that I like. One of the disappointments for me in Spankoworld was that people with a kink could be so judgemental. If a spanko doesn't fancy hand-caning, face-slapping, nipple-clamps, hair-pulling or bondage - Fine - but there is sometimes a tendency to disapprove.

It seems a bit bizarre for someone who gets their rocks off slapping a bare arse (or gets emotional satisfaction bending over for the cane) to then decide that face-slapping is an outrage. Interestingly these alternative activities are not just sneered at by some, but can be accompanied by scientific proof of how much more dangerous they are than spanking.

To me much of BDSM (bondage, domination, submission, sadism, masochism etc) is like rock-climbing or eating sushi - not something I can imagine wanting to do, but so what?

Thank you, Readers of Blogland - I appear to be a top bottom again! How nice!

I thought I'd google a well-known phrase in certain circles: Topping form the bottom.

I found a blog, but no idea why author chose that name.

Good old wiki came up with following which I thought pretty good

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_and_bottom_in_sex_and_BDSM

Topping from the bottom is a related BDSM term, meaning a person who wants to be dominated but simultaneously direct the top to do it according to their wishes. Topping from the bottom is usually considered poor practice amongst lifestyle BDSM devotees, although fairly common amongst the "BDSM curious" or newcomers who have had submissive fantasies but lack experience with a sexual dominant.

Some people see all BDSM experience in the hands of a competent Dom/me as teaching limits and self-discipline, and therefore argue that setting hard limits is itself a subtle form of topping from the bottom, arguing there should be total trust and no preset assumptions. They would instead tend to view the concept of hard limits as another example of attempts by the sub to retain control and dictate to the dom/me what dominance is or is not okay, rather than experiencing genuine surrender and allowing trust to direct the scene. This is a minority view which although generally acknowledged, is not shared by most practitioners.

Contrast this with the pure dominant, who might give orders to a submissive, or otherwise employ physical or psychological techniques of control, but might instruct the submissive to perform the act on him.

The following may be of interest, to those who like a traditional approach:
http://www.takeninhand.com/is.she.afraid.of.losing.control.or.topping.from.the.bottom

It may be fine to read someone else's script in a scene of limited duration. But a Taken In Hand relationship is not just a scene, and not just an unending scene either. It is qualitatively different. It is no surprise to me that the very experienced owner of an SM dungeon said that Taken In Hand is the scariest thing she has ever heard of. Handing over real power to another is dangerous. And the more power a woman might want to hand over eventually, the more dangerous it is for her...

There's lots more out there if you fancy a trawl...

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/magazine/story/0,,2113731,00.html

This much I know

Roger Kent-Barton, bookmaker, 62, Romford

Interview by John Hind
Sunday July 1, 2007
The Observer

When I'm having a good evening at the track, jealous people say, 'But you can't take it with you.' And the answer to them is, 'Well, I'm not going yet then, am I?'

As you get older you realise you're laughing less. There's no rolling on the floor with that lovely pain in your belly. And that's a damn shame.

Foxes are fantastic. There's one in Dagenham who stands at a zebra waiting for the vehicles to stop before crossing. What an adaptable species, living in suburbia with cars, motorbikes, guns and everything else that's thrown at them. I take my hat off to foxes.

When I'm having a good evening at the track, jealous people say, 'But you can't take it with you.' And the answer to them is, 'Well, I'm not going yet then, am I?'

As you get older you realise you're laughing less. There's no rolling on the floor with that lovely pain in your belly. And that's a damn shame.

Foxes are fantastic. There's one in Dagenham who stands at a zebra waiting for the vehicles to stop before crossing. What an adaptable species, living in suburbia with cars, motorbikes, guns and everything else that's thrown at them. I take my hat off to foxes.

Article continues
I've lost 10 grand in a day, paying out. But you've got to take it on the chin and not show how choked you are. Even though inside you're cursing.

When you've got nice, good-mannered children, people say, 'Come over, bring the kids.' But it ain't going to happen if you're the type who's brought them up to climb all over the sofa.

The biggest difference in the world between now and when I was a young man is the sheer amount of women's clothes shops everywhere you look.

I take bets, but I don't place. I'm useless. I've thought many many times, 'Oh, that one looks frisky,' but whether you can spot a winner such ways I couldn't tell you for toffee.

I've bought hundreds of bunches of flowers for ladies, but not one's bought me any. If I was ever given just one bunch in my life I swear I'd be over the moon.

They say if you can't do the time, don't do the crime. The problem is you don't know what the time is, or is like, until you done the crime. I got three years in 1982 for handling stolen shotguns, because I used to do a lot of wild-fowling and that. The loss of liberty is terrible.

Within my lifetime, bookies on the ground at the dogs and horses will be dinosaurs. Betfair and other internet bookies offer odds up to 20 per cent better, so they'll finish us off. They're not paying £600 a week to stand here, and £400 to their clerk and ticktack, so we've no chance.

It's a myth that people need eight hours' sleep. You need three.

I also work nights at Billingsgate fish market. You wouldn't want to be on a desert island with the people down there. They'd have you on a spit.

When you're self-employed you don't get flu, or hangovers. You can slip and break your collarbone, you can fall off the roof on to your nose, but next day it's the dogs and fish as usual.

People say, 'Why don't you retire?' but why would I want to? It keeps me fit, but most important it keeps my brain sharp, making decisions from the moment I wake up.

I can drive at 125mph and not shit myself.

The sense of achievement from cycling up Ditchling Beacon and making it to the top, while people built like Arnold Schwarzenegger are getting off and pushing, no one can take that away. They could pull my fingernails out, take my ears off, but I'd always have the memories of conquering that bastard.

Some don't eat the brown meat on crab, but they're mad. It's got more taste than wine. And no matter what people tell you about Canadian lobster, Scottish lobster is the Rolls-Royce of lobster.

You can tell a woman that the fish are lovely and remind you of her, but best not to with dogs.

I pity anyone who's not had a day in the fantastic slipstream of love. But I get jealous when I see a couple who can look into each other's eyes after five years of marriage and still feel on cloud nine.

Underneath this sheet of armour there's still somebody who's carefree and loving and caring.