Hope it is fab!

Nice to hear from Blighty with questions to explore

Hi Suzee,
This is a bit random, but why do you never get bored with Spanko? Maybe you do? Or have other less prominent erotic diversions?

The reason I ask is because a fetish isnt something fixed, in the way that sexual orientation is.

Of course, the two statements contained in the preceding paragraph may have widespread cultural acceptance, they remain nonetheless unproven. But devil's advocate and all that, for the purposes of the question I pose.

I don't get bored of the spanking thing, because it seems to be an intrinsic part of my sexuality and as endlessly fascinating and enjoyable as any other sex act - which is what it is to me. As said before/elsewhere - others see it as emotional or sensual rather than sexual, but for me it is sexual. Of course, with time one's interest peaks and wanes according to mood, age, circumstances etc, but like all good sex is definitely still enjoyable.

I would challenge claim that fetish is not fixed in way hetero/homosexuality is. My view of both is continuum of 'fixed', take it or leave it, 'possibly', 'just for fun/variation' and 'No way!'

I know people who are 100% gay and it appears that they could not be anything else like very camp gay men and 'butch' lesbians, but they are not exactly the gay majority. I also believe that many seem naturally bi-sexual, while others seem just adventurous and open to new experiences. My view of orientation as with fetish, is that there is a broad church.

And that's how I see fetish stuff. I suspect I personally had some level of predisposition that got 'triggered' somehow. Like gay people who always 'knew' they were gay, I was fascinated by spanking from childhood, despite lack of experience or incident. And early fascination was not obviously sexual for me, as I did not have the concepts.

And of course we humans can intentionally or unintentionally 'fix' sexual responses. If we find an idea pleasurable and give ourselves further pleasure thinking about it, we reinforce the pleasure principle.

Personally, I did not 'do' solo sexual pleasure before my first sexual relationship at eighteen. But I loved thinking about spanking. And when I finally decided to experiment with self-pleasure, the only thing I could think to think about - or want to think about - was spanking!

My responses to stimulation are quite normal and I am very capable of ordinary sex and think it's delightful. Spanking gives me a whole other dimension to my sexuality and a source of 'brain' sex as well as physical sex.

Hope that makes sense!

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask.

Just saw a programme on this on C4 series of Sex in the Noughties
http://www.channel4.com/culture/microsites/S/sex_noughties/
I am intrigued by women who write what I consider to be explicit sexual blogs, although I tend not to read in detail, just because they are not my particular thing.

There is a darker side to the story though, one concerned with a fear of being "outed", judged and shamed for such bold and explicit confessions. Anonymity is everything with the female sex blog: you can only tell the absolute truth in all its dirty graphic detail if no one knows who you really are.

I find that rather simplistic. The very nature of interactions is going to be different if your potential partners are going to be written about. Of course anonymity is vital to many, but it could just as easily be about taste and discretion as about shame. The outing of "The Girl with a One Track Mind" just seems like a mean act and invasion of privacy.