Was browsing through catch up TV stuff for something to watch while having my cuppa and found this:

http://www.channel4.com/video/upstairs-downstairs-love/catchup.html
"The remarkable real-life story of barrister Arthur Munby and his servant lover Hannah Cullwick whose relationship transgressed the strict moral codes of 19th-century Britain."

it was intriguing for soical history perspective and emphasis on how the classes were practically different species in the 19th century and reminder that 'respectability' was central to defining the emerging middle classes at that time.

As an erotic masochist I was intrigued by the BDSM perspective which was covert and overt. Hannah like many modern subs and slaves relished literal boot-licking and wore a chain with pride. A reminder that institutionalised ideas (collaring)that are part of so-called 'scene' have universal significance and can be just as easily thought up by individuals as groups.

It was amusing that academic commentators wrestled with same issues as society in general - Can kinks/fetishists in power of kink find true love? Hannah and Arthur revelled in their erotic love of her filth and slavery, but obviously loved each other as well.

Modern issue of who's in charge in sub/Dom (Sub/dom?) relationship also explored.

Class is no longer such an issue but still with us in a big way. I've not thought of it as possible fetish/kink, but can see it as a possibility. Wonder if there are subs and Dom/mes who relish partners from different class? Whole 'bit of rough' and 'up-town girl' stuff are eroticisation of other, but not thought of it in fetish terms before - interesting...

This is something I wrote a few years back.

Had an interesting chat with my male, ‘nilla friend G. about the challenge of meeting appropriate men. We’d already decided that cyber dating spankers was akin to ‘other’ men. We talked about how some men would ignore everything written and write to women with whom there was no common ground and seemed particularly excited by geographical proximity. He summed it up as:
'Come round for a shag and pick up a loaf on the way - On second thoughts that's too much trouble - Just bring the bread and forget the shag!' Substitute spanking for shag and there you have it! Obviously as one of my best friends is male I’m not exactly anti-male, just a bit bemused and frustrated (emotionally!)

G and I are both happily in relationships with partners we met in cyber!

As written elsewhere, I prefer idea of sexplay to foreplay as I think most sex is far too interesting and too much fun to play second fiddle to any particular act. That said, there is a poit that one suspects the kissing and cuddling and touching is possibly leading somewhere in particular...

As my Cariad is as focussed on this spanking thing as me, there is a tendency for it to be somewhat central to our sex life. Non-spanking sexuality is the exception rather than the norm. This week we have had two lovely afternoons - One of non-spanko vanilla sex and one that included spanking, caning and a little light-to-medium flogging.

I realised that I can tell the way my lover is thinking by his attitude to my clothing! He is always very interested in what is under my clothing, but with vanilla on his mind he is more eager to remove items. As part of the fun and pleasure of spanking is working with the layers, he is less eager to have things out of the way, when contemplating such activities.

Some into spanking (like those into the joys of other sex) like nudity. My Cariad and I love the contrast of a skirt or nightdress and knickers for variety and suspense and the pleasure of a staged approach. Being spanked or caned over clothing that is to be rearranged and/or removed is part of the fun and excitement.

My Cariad is thoughtful in all sexual activity, so while the removal of clothing when contemplating 'straight' sex can thoughtful and teasing, there is something very deliberate about the casual hand inside the knickers being removed, followed by the casual straightening of the skirt or nightie that tells me what it is that is on the erotic menu...