I am not an expert on this, but was asked if such a thing existed by someone on a BBC messageboard. I didn't think it was quite place for the discussion so brought it here instead.

While coming to terms with my strange fascination with spanking I visited various sites and have an overview of BDSM and spanking and some of the 'communities' out there. Like the gay, feminist or black 'community' a lot of huffing, snarling and 'How dare you label me - I'm an individual' stuff goes on, so this is very much a Suzee take on things.

Those into domination and submission can have cyber relationships where rules are made and followed and consequences are carried out, including 'punishment'.

BDSMers and spankos can also 'play' in chatrooms and via the keyboard (one-handed or not) can take on roles and relationships which happen at head level or can be acted out as desired. I don't like chatrooms as it seems confusing, fast and reductive to me. I dipped a metaphorical toe in the water of a chatroom once, and then beat an equally metaphorical retreat!

I have however played a form of cyber spanking via emails, private messages and message board teasing. There is a sub-species of spankee known as the brat who does annoying things like squirt water pistols, throw cushions, tie shoelaces together (real life and on messageboards and in chat rooms) so that they get threatened with suitable punishments. I can see where they're coming from, but personally prefer a more subtle form of teasing - more Katharine Hepburn than Beryl the Peril!
I found a spanking site that seemed friendly and placed following ad:
Naughty Lady/Spanking for Softies: All Talk

Hello!
I'm new to site and looking for some fun exchanges of the cyber kind.
I am a large curvy forty-something female, living in Wales.
I'm not looking to meet or confuse r/l with fantasy but I've been fantasising about being spanked for as long as I can remember. I've enjoyed browsing and think chatting would be even more fun. The chat rooms seem fast and confusing. I'm quite bright but a bit slow and can't text so leisurely chats are more my style.
My fantasies are mild, but I'm good on detail. Being put over a man's knee (lover or justifiably irate potential lover preferably) is my favourite scenario. I'm very influenced by 50's movies and imagery. Being bent over a suitable piece of furniture is also very erotic. I'm all for tradition and a hand on my bottom is my favourite idea but I thrill at the thought of hairbrush, slipper or dap. I'm intrigued by American paddles and rattan carpet beaters but can't take wooden spoons seriously. I go weak at the knees with apprehension and uncertainty at the thought of a swishy cane, firm yardstick or whippy plastic ruler... I did say I was a softy...
I like clothing to be there for appropriate rearranging and uncovering... Nudity seems a bit boring. I'm not into humiliation other than actual spanking and appropriate lecture on behaviour and fate.
I would find male spanker correspondents a sexy thrill - Sort of X-rated flirting.
I'm also interested in finding women who understand where I'm coming from and would enjoy similar fantasies or reality on these lines. I've been busy putting these ideas into writing and wonder if there is a market for my particular tastes.
Not sure of netiquette. It would be lovely if people responded here (joined thread?) or sent me messages.
LOL
Suzeemoon

I did get my X-rated flirting and never looked back - except to check who's behind me!88|:))